Author julzfromsa Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 All she's doing is trying to get a reaction. If you give her one she'll ignore you. Keep the ignore shoe on your foot and ignore the crap out of her. This is where you rebuild power,rebuild your ego, and your self respect. Good job on keeping quiet. Me? I woulda responded with a " " Just to get under her skin and make her flip and her head spin. But I'm also very vindictive Barky I did think about responding with a " well if you really knew", but then a barrage of back and fourths and just not keen for that. Just not feeling a need to respond to such a BS email. Thanks Barky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author julzfromsa Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 I want to throttle her, reading that e-mail made me angry. Really childish mail hey - she is 27!! I was angry and upset yesterday. Feeling much better today! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sw2020 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 I wish I had your self restraint with ignoring provocative communication. Good job. Sounds like you're really on a good path. Link to post Share on other sites
Luke12345 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Julz... 1. Haha! 2. She just wants a reaction, that's it. 3. Keep up the NC. 4. Keep posting if you get anything else like this, it's always nice to blow off steam if needed. 5. Keep up with your own life. And remember, only YOU can make things happen for YOU. CONCLUSION Happiness 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author julzfromsa Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 This community is a life saver!! It has helped me more than I ever thought it would. Just speaking to people that are in the same boat helps with 40% of the pain and confusion.. Love you guys! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author julzfromsa Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 Sorry Guys - this is a double post.. I rather talk about this in this thread, I keep the other open as i think of it as a diary type thing, but im sure this post should be in this thread. Wont Double Post again. BUT **** GOT REAL NOW: So through the grape vine, Long long convoluted grapevine, my brother heard that she has been saying that she is now pregnant with my child. WTF. 1) If that were true, Jamie would have been all up in my face when she found out. I have heard nothing from her, and even though she is blocked, she has my dads phone number, my brothers, email addresses. She knows where i live so i would know! 2) There is a very very very very small chance that she has fallen pregnant from me. 3) What should I do.. Is this her trying to get me to break the NC.. wtf 4) She was with someone else. I dont know what she has been up too?? This is getting FFFFFDDDD up very quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
strive Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Paternity test. Arm yourself with knowledge on how to do it, where and how much so you can call her bluff if she's bluffing, or know if its really yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Author julzfromsa Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 I'm sure she would have told me by now?? She is the type to make it my business from the begging.. Anyways, i will leave this till she contacts me.. If i hear nothing in the next month or so ill ask.. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 The possibility of a pregnancy would definitely have her contacting you if she knew, without a doubt, that you are the father. If she doesn't contact you at all, then take it as a rumor. I don't know too many women that wouldn't let a guy know that he is the father. Hell, a lot of women try to let the WRONG guys know that he is the father. If she doesn't contact with something as important as this, then I speculate that she isn't really pregnant. Or, if she is, then she knows that you aren't the father. Link to post Share on other sites
Author julzfromsa Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 I agree with you If she can contact me because I saw a mutual friend, the Gees, she should contact me for this. She is a very Vindictive and malicious person.. I wont fall for it till i know.. Link to post Share on other sites
barky2 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Lol she's not pregnant. Let me explain. She reached out to you, for a reaction. You didn't give her one. Now she's desperate. Like I said earlier, it was just the beginning. She's trying to get your attention to say something to her, so she can bash you or whatever. You not responding bruised her ego. Still don't respond. And ya, she woulda said some thing besides her saying you slept with someone else. Childish girl. Barky 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author julzfromsa Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 the more i think about it, the more obvious it is. Its such a ploy! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
barky2 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 And for the slimmmmmmm chance she may be, DNA test all day long. But ya, I'm 99.9% sure she's full of it. Glad you're learning Barky Link to post Share on other sites
Author julzfromsa Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 Oh Def. Already researched it.. There is a chance that i may bump into her this Friday at a Bar. So, ill have my mates scout it out before hand. I'm not ready to bump into her and ill do everything in more power so that it doesn't happen. Ill even arrive late. If i do see her there, Ill just pick up my car keys and move along as swiftly and quietly as possible. I'm pretty sure i wont bump into her 2 Link to post Share on other sites
barky2 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 See it's a toss up, I'd like to say go somewhere else, but one day you'll have to face your fear. The other half wants to say stay, enjoy yourself, be aloof and pay zero mind. You choose. Good luck broseph. Barky Link to post Share on other sites
Author julzfromsa Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 The possibility of a pregnancy would definitely have her contacting you if she knew, without a doubt, that you are the father. If she doesn't contact you at all, then take it as a rumor. I don't know too many women that wouldn't let a guy know that he is the father. Hell, a lot of women try to let the WRONG guys know that he is the father. If she doesn't contact with something as important as this, then I speculate that she isn't really pregnant. Or, if she is, then she knows that you aren't the father. She also know that im a decent man that would never run away from any sort of responsibility. If it were true, she knows id support the situation.. There would be no reason for her to not tell me.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author julzfromsa Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 See it's a toss up, I'd like to say go somewhere else, but one day you'll have to face your fear. The other half wants to say stay, enjoy yourself, be aloof and pay zero mind. You choose. Good luck broseph. Barky Ive also been thinking of not going at all. So, ill get there at like 22h00 and my mates will let me know.. For me its worth the risk. Its like a 95% surety. If she inst there by 22h00 then she inst coming. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mantlefan Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 I would go. If you know you are going to see her, then obviously not. But you have to lay claim to some parts of your life. Not going somewhere because she might be there is only a little better in going somewhere because she IS there. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Ive also been thinking of not going at all. So, ill get there at like 22h00 and my mates will let me know.. For me its worth the risk. Its like a 95% surety. If she inst there by 22h00 then she inst coming. I wouldn't go even if the chances of her being there are remote. Because there's still that chance. This is obviously very raw with you right now and you still need time to heal. Therefore, don't put yourself in a situation where there's a chance for you to hurt again. It's like your an alcoholic that is serious about your sobriety and you went away to a rehab center for 30 days. After your rehab, it wouldn't make any damn sense for your friends to throw you a welcome home party at a bar, would it? I would strongly advise you to do something else that night. Even if the chances are remote; on the flip side, SHE knows that there might be a remote possibility of you being there. If she vindictive enough, she may show up and flirt with everyone in the place just to see you squirm. She may even leave with someone else or even bring someone with her. You don't need that crap right now. No Contact is a tool to help us heal and move on. The main goal with NC is to get to a point of indifference. That you could give a rats ass if she's there or not. Sorry dude, but you're not there yet. You're not at a point of indifference. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mantlefan Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Ignore me. Chitown talked me out of it . 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Ignore me. Chitown talked me out of it . LOL! Dude, you give solid advice and you're right, some folks would view that as "running away from the problem" if he doesn't go. That our Ex's still have power over us to make us "run". But, that's the farthest thing from the truth. We're taking power back by not allowing ourselves to be put in a situation where it's going to hurt ourselves and our healing process. Going back to the alcoholic comparison, it wouldn't be wise for an alcoholic to be in a bar or a pub until they KNOW that they are strong enough to handle being there. It just takes time. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author julzfromsa Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 I wouldn't go even if the chances of her being there are remote. Because there's still that chance. This is obviously very raw with you right now and you still need time to heal. Therefore, don't put yourself in a situation where there's a chance for you to hurt again. It's like your an alcoholic that is serious about your sobriety and you went away to a rehab center for 30 days. After your rehab, it wouldn't make any damn sense for your friends to throw you a welcome home party at a bar, would it? I would strongly advise you to do something else that night. Even if the chances are remote; on the flip side, SHE knows that there might be a remote possibility of you being there. If she vindictive enough, she may show up and flirt with everyone in the place just to see you squirm. She may even leave with someone else or even bring someone with her. You don't need that crap right now. No Contact is a tool to help us heal and move on. The main goal with NC is to get to a point of indifference. That you could give a rats ass if she's there or not. Sorry dude, but you're not there yet. You're not at a point of indifference. I agree with you... Not going to go. you right. I honestly wasnt going to go because she might be there, i just wanted to see my mates, but there are other days where i will know 100% she wont be there.. Ill make other plans.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 I agree with you... Not going to go. you right. I honestly wasnt going to go because she might be there, i just wanted to see my mates, but there are other days where i will know 100% she wont be there.. Ill make other plans.. Good for you! Yeah, it really doesn't make any sense to go if the possibility exists and if your friends are truly your friends, they'll understand. I mean, just take the girl out of the picture and run this scenario. Someone presents you an opportunity. You have a choice of going to a sporting event OR seeing your favorite band perform. However, if you see the band play, you have to watch it while standing on a platform and there's a 15% chance of a sledge hammer hitting you in the balls. But, again, it's only a 15% chance. No, thanks. I'll just watch some football. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author julzfromsa Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 so true - def gona take a rain check. Knowing her, she will come to make a point . She has become so malicious. Not loving that vibe Link to post Share on other sites
Kevin_D Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Haha! You will hear from her again. This sounds so much like the message I got from my ex. I had stayed in NC/LC for a bit more than a month: "Can you really sleep well at night when you're ****ing with me like this? When I broke up with you, I was compassionate and honest about my feelings. How can you treat me like this after 6 years together? Well... I'm sorry, but I don't want to get updates about her new adventures. Guess that makes me an *******. I've been thinking about these messages a lot lately. They say that the dumpers usually plan the breakup for months, but if that's the case, shouldn't they have a more rational view on things than the dumpee? I mean, my ex could freak out and refuse to talk to me if I said that a certain celebrity was beautiful... And now she dumps me out of the blue, possibly for another guy, and gets angry at me for sticking to NC - which SHE initiated. Seriously, if they really had been planning this breakup for months, shouldn't they be able to be a bit more ...understanding? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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