Past Lover still pains love life

[DoVe]

I have just gotten out of a long-term relationship a year ago with a

man I thought I had loved until the day he date raped me, ever since then we

drifted apart and eventually he cheated on me for the 6th time and I left him. Now

I got a new man to help me forget my last and I like him even more than I did my ex but

I can't help hurting after all the mixed emotions. I want to tell my new man how I feel

but we haven't known each other long and I'm afraid to scare him off. I was fine with my

new lover except for the fact that when we got into a discussion of anal sex it reminded me of my

ex since he loved that sort of thing and I haven't been able to get him out of my mind since.

I'm torn now and it hurts and I'm looking for some advice from a sensiable person who has a clearer insight

than I do at the momment. Please what do you think I should do?

[Jos Love*]

:I have just broken up with my boyfriend of three years (on and off), so I know somewhat how you feel. I also took a lot from my ex so we're kind of in the same situation--Trying to move on. I suggest that you re-evaluate this new relationship you're in. People have a tendency of repeatedly attracting the same types of losers they previously got rid of. If during your search, you realize-for certain- that this guy is different, then let him know how you feel. After all if this guy is so great, then why would he have a problem hearing how you feel.

 

Also, I don't suggest that when you break up with a guy you start dating another one to forget about your ex. In doing that you will make a lot of unwise decisions because of the hurt you feel inside. Relax, be by yourself. You don't always need to have a man to be happy.

 

Good Luck!!!!

 

Jos Love*

[tiff]

first, have you seeked counciling? You may not think you need it but you may want to talk to someone who won't judge your situation. As far as talking to your new boyfriend about this i'm all for it. but first consider how long you are together. do you consider him as a FRIEND? are you comfortable with him? do you feel you can trust him? if you do then by all means tell him. I see nothing wrong with communication. if he really cares for you he will understand and prbably be happy that you choose to include him in such a delicate matter. he should support you and this may even better your relationship as far as trust goes. this will also give the both of you the opportunity to learn more about each other and help you to grow together. Good luck and stay strong.