When some found you attractive, physically...but

[fabulous]

]Nobody is attractive to everybody.[/b] As you said' date=' attraction is subjective. Some people will find you physically attractive and some won't. Just dress your best, hit the gym, and be the best man you can be[/quote']

 

I would disagree with that statement.

 

One, research has shown that there is a consensus with what men find attractive in women and what they don't find attractive. Find me a man on Earth who doesn't find this women attractive and I'll give you 1 million dollars!

 

http://www.menshealth.com/hottest-female-athletes/sites/default/files/hfa/imagecache/zoom/Alana_Blanchard_1.jpg

 

Well maybe not, anomalies do exist, you'd have to scour the corners of the world to find him though!

 

I also bet I could design a man will similar levels of mainstream appeal.

Give me the face of male model Miguel iglesias

(http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z216/drakscam/esfw11bck1.jpg), give him a PhD in finance, a high paying job, a dominant manly personality. Add in his already impressive 6'2" height and I'll give you a country full of interested women, in fact I bet he'd have almost universal appeal (much thanks to the ubiquity of Western/White beauty standards across the world). Take him to China, to Brazil to Australia. Women of low socio economic status, women who are from rich backgrounds, he would be in demand and that's an understatement.

 

 

Subjective beauty only exists in a practical sense for average people. Average people will be found unattractive by many suitors and attractive by other suitors, this same variance doesn't exist for 0.00001% top attractiveness men/or women, they have close to universal appeal. (i only say close and not exactly cuz' there are eccentrics with unusual tastes).

[Phoe]

a guy on this very forum once told me I looked 40. That was rich -.-

 

Sometimes people say insensitive things. Sometimes you just aren't someone's cup of tea.

 

 

I've been told my nose is too big, my ears are too big, I'd look better blonde, my boobs aren't big enough, my butt isn't big enough, I should lose 10 pounds, I should stop working out, so on and so forth, I've been told a boat load of stupid insensitive comments about my physical appearance.

 

 

Meh. Whatever at this point. Despite the fact that there are men out there that think those things, all that matters is the man who doesn't think those things. It only takes one. I don't care if every other man on this planet thinks I'm an absolute dog, because there is still that man of mine who thinks I'm lovely.

 

 

So that lady was a derp and said you look too old. There's a lady out there who will think you're just right the way you are (yes this is cliche but it's true).

[Onethirtyeight]

I would disagree with that statement.

 

One, research has shown that there is a consensus with what men find attractive in women and what they don't find attractive. Find me a man on Earth who doesn't find this women attractive and I'll give you 1 million dollars!

 

http://www.menshealth.com/hottest-female-athletes/sites/default/files/hfa/imagecache/zoom/Alana_Blanchard_1.jpg

 

Well maybe not, anomalies do exist, you'd have to scour the corners of the world to find him though!

 

I also bet I could design a man will similar levels of mainstream appeal.

Give me the face of male model Miguel iglesias

(http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z216/drakscam/esfw11bck1.jpg), give him a PhD in finance, a high paying job, a dominant manly personality. Add in his already impressive 6'2" height and I'll give you a country full of interested women, in fact I bet he'd have almost universal appeal (much thanks to the ubiquity of Western/White beauty standards across the world). Take him to China, to Brazil to Australia. Women of low socio economic status, women who are from rich backgrounds, he would be in demand and that's an understatement.

 

 

Subjective beauty only exists in a practical sense for average people. Average people will be found unattractive by many suitors and attractive by other suitors, this same variance doesn't exist for 0.00001% top attractiveness men/or women, they have close to universal appeal. (i only say close and not exactly cuz' there are eccentrics with unusual tastes).

 

If you're saying there is a trend I agree with you. People at the top end of the spectrum have a better shot with most people than those closer to the middle or bottom. What I would disagree with you on would be that the top 1% for one person in not the top 1% for another. Sure everyone is going to agree on what's generally attractive but the things that makes someone perfect are individual preferences. If you have a group of people pick the actress/actor they find most attractive you're pretty much just going to end up with Hollywood's A list.

 

An example might be that I don't find Zooey Deschanel at all attractive, she is super boring in my opinion but she has quite a following.

[irc333]

Yeah, I could've responded, "Yeah, you have an extra spare tire, though I don't mind that, at least I'm willing to accept that".

 

What killed me was in HER profile, she was so damned prolific in stating, that one of her deal breakers were "Non-acceptance" of her OWN physical appearance. lol

 

 

a guy on this very forum once told me I looked 40. That was rich -.-

 

Sometimes people say insensitive things. Sometimes you just aren't someone's cup of tea.

 

 

I've been told my nose is too big, my ears are too big, I'd look better blonde, my boobs aren't big enough, my butt isn't big enough, I should lose 10 pounds, I should stop working out, so on and so forth, I've been told a boat load of stupid insensitive comments about my physical appearance.

 

 

Meh. Whatever at this point. Despite the fact that there are men out there that think those things, all that matters is the man who doesn't think those things. It only takes one. I don't care if every other man on this planet thinks I'm an absolute dog, because there is still that man of mine who thinks I'm lovely.

 

 

So that lady was a derp and said you look too old. There's a lady out there who will think you're just right the way you are (yes this is cliche but it's true).

[fabulous]

If you're saying there is a trend I agree with you. People at the top end of the spectrum have a better shot with most people than those closer to the middle or bottom. What I would disagree with you on would be that the top 1% for one person in not the top 1% for another. Sure everyone is going to agree on what's generally attractive but the things that makes someone perfect are individual preferences. If you have a group of people pick the actress/actor they find most attractive you're pretty much just going to end up with Hollywood's A list.

 

An example might be that I don't find Zooey Deschanel at all attractive, she is super boring in my opinion but she has quite a following.

 

Without turning this into a high school locker chick rating contest, I would argue Zoeey Deshanel is not hot enough to be considered attractive to MOST men. She in fact looks decidedly plain in many photos. I don't find her attractive. Neither do you.

 

A better representation of a hypothetical top 1% woman would be, EG , Sara Carbonero, the girlfriend of Barcelona goal keeper Iker Casillas.

 

I doubt there would be a man in existence who wouldn't recognize she is special, even if she is not their type. You don't see girls like that walking down the street often, if ever at all. She is so beautiful she is almost like a work of art, in fact it's hard for a man like me to appreciate her on human level.http://static1.purepeople.com/articles/2/64/67/2/@/481621-sara-carbonero-637x0-1.jpg

 

 

Science has shown that not only do we hook up with people of similar attractiveness we also are programmed to fall in love with them. In makes sense, since an average man , for example, chasing super models, to the exclusion of other women, would die alone and never reproduce.

 

"There is an existing body of research, as the investigators note, that show that physically attractive people tend to date other physically attractive people. For reasons not entirely clear, we all tend to gravitate to our own level of attractiveness (as well as socio-economic class, race, and social circles)." Does Our Own Attractiveness Affect Our Dating Preferences? | World of Psychology

 

I know for a fact that my preferences in women would probably chance if i as a highly paid , famous sports star.

Yet I'm still happy with the current "league" of women within my reach. Evolution has me covered, I can still obtain happiness despite being shunned from dating the objectively most desirable women (most fertile/healthiest/etc).

Edited January 7, 2014 by fabulous

[irc333]

in fact I bet he'd have almost universal appeal

 

THIS could be an entirely different thread, but there is probably such thing as "Universal" attraction. Basically it entails a large majority of the population that finds a specific individual highly desirable.

 

Usually you see this when a certain walks into the room and you see the head of any (straight) man turning heads or even stopping in mid-conversation of who they are with to look.

 

Take Sofia Vergara, perhaps the most stunning and also funny woman (I think) on the planet. Chances are there's probably one guy that will play off with "Meh, she's okay" or "Meh, she aint all that" to make it seem cool that he's not attracted. lol

[fabulous]

THIS could be an entirely different thread, but there is probably such thing as "Universal" attraction. Basically it entails a large majority of the population that finds a specific individual highly desirable.

 

Usually you see this when a certain walks into the room and you see the head of any (straight) man turning heads or even stopping in mid-conversation of who they are with to look.

 

Take Sofia Vergara, perhaps the most stunning and also funny woman (I think) on the planet. Chances are there's probably one guy that will play off with "Meh, she's okay" or "Meh, she aint all that" to make it seem cool that he's not attracted. lol

 

Universal is a dangerous world to use, standalone, that's why I affixed the word "almost" to it.

 

Some people don't seem to understand the value of generalizations and how subjectivity and objectivity can intersect when one opinion is overwhelmingly dominant, in a practical sense. There are lots of contrarians I suppose, who object to the way the media/culture has a narrow definition of beauty.

 

You explained it well. Beauty is a popularity contest and the majority opinion rules.

[gaius]

I thought the girl I lost my virginity was out of my league. She was dating a friend of mine and I still had the I'm ugly mindset from being previously fat so I friendzoned her. We would hangout sometimes when my friend was busy with other stuff and I just treated her like another guy friend which she apparently found attractive. Confessed she liked me one day to my great surprise as I was rambling on about another woman and that was the start of that.

 

Since then there's only two women I've made a pass at and failed at getting, both online and I'm pretty sure neither match up to her physically.

[regine_phalange]

a guy on this very forum once told me I looked 40. That was rich -.-

 

Sometimes people say insensitive things. Sometimes you just aren't someone's cup of tea.

 

 

I've been told my nose is too big, my ears are too big, I'd look better blonde, my boobs aren't big enough, my butt isn't big enough, I should lose 10 pounds, I should stop working out, so on and so forth, I've been told a boat load of stupid insensitive comments about my physical appearance.

 

Wow! I think that you look very pretty and youthful. There is definetely something wrong with those people!

 

I've also been told that my hair has too much volume, I should wear very high heels, stop wearing black most of the time, my abs were too visible (got an angry look about that too ), I didn't look arrogant enough and shouldnt smile as much (my teeth are healthy and staight really, what's wrong with people?).

[carhill]

I was wondering, while you were dating....did you ever go through a period where you were surprised the person found you attractive enough to date, while others were completely turned off by your appearance?

 

In terms of 'wow, I'm surprised this clearly superior person would even give me the time of day', nope, that went away after graduating from high school. Going to a private school where there were apparently many 'superior' people did skew that impression of people during those years but college, and the real world, righted it. In addition, hundreds of women (potential dates) being 'turned off' by whatever they were turned off by largely immunized me against such thoughts. I came to view people as portals of difference.

 

Hence, today, when I happen to be out in public with a woman, these days female friends, who turns heads, I haven't and don't give it a second thought. Bigger fish to fry in life.

[irc333]

Yeah, I recall this one guy...works at the local Home Depot....he was kind of scruffy looking, not in shape, but he was a pretty all around cool, nice guy. We got along as male friends.

 

One time had an attractive woman he was out with, a lot of the "Juice heads" were "cutting in" in between them, pretending this 'squirt' of a man didn't exist and they were probably thinking they could steal this woman away from this "weakling" in a heart beat.

 

I've known some guys that will just C-block guys on dates with their own girlfriends in a rude fashion.

 

 

In terms of 'wow, I'm surprised this clearly superior person would even give me the time of day', nope, that went away after graduating from high school. Going to a private school where there were apparently many 'superior' people did skew that impression of people during those years but college, and the real world, righted it. In addition, hundreds of women (potential dates) being 'turned off' by whatever they were turned off by largely immunized me against such thoughts. I came to view people as portals of difference.

 

Hence, today, when I happen to be out in public with a woman, these days female friends, who turns heads, I haven't and don't give it a second thought. Bigger fish to fry in life.

[GirlontheLam]

Not really on my list, I have had all types of men attracted to me. Conventionally attractive, charismatic, and less attractive. Attraction is personal and relative.