shakepig Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Happy New Year Eve everyone!! My dinner plan with friends was postponed from 5 pm to 7:30 pm. so given time, I want to do something breaking NC. Since got a christmas greeting message and another text from EX, my thoughts have been over flooded. The BU happened so fast, I have so many unsaid feelings. I dont want to hide my feelings any more. I want to tell him how I felt about him, about the breakup, and I respect his decision and not to get him back but to move on after I let all out. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/451872-ex-said-i-miss-how-you-treated-me http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/451671-ex-messaged-merry-christmas-breaking-nc-greeting-him-nye
UltraTech Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Pointless, will only give him more power, just write your feelings down, do not let him see them, trust me.
Author shakepig Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 some background info in those two links.
UltraTech Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 some background info in those two links. What do you hope to achieve with this? Serious question. Why does he have to know your feelings? Why is it not enough for you to know them?
Author shakepig Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 You already know what the response is going to be to this... I know.. But It's unhealthy to just hold my feelings to myself. I realize the reason i'm doing NC is to do the "absence makes the heart grow fonder". I'm not really healing myself. no matter whether he's a jerk, whether what i'm doing will give him more power, i need let them out. once for all. I like him dearly and i'm wounded. i never told him instead went directly to NC. I just cannot walk away like this... thoughts??
Simon Phoenix Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Black-Man-Stark-Trek-Facepalm-Gif.gif 3
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 I know.. But It's unhealthy to just hold my feelings to myself. I realize the reason i'm doing NC is to do the "absence makes the heart grow fonder". I'm not really healing myself. no matter whether he's a jerk, whether what i'm doing will give him more power, i need let them out. once for all. I like him dearly and i'm wounded. i never told him instead went directly to NC. I just cannot walk away like this... thoughts?? Then you are not doing NC correctly. NC is to HEAL not make him miss you. The relationship is done. Over. Its not going to change anything with an e-mail nor will it really make you feel ANY better. Writing an e-mail out will make you look SO weak and needy. Why even do that? Write an e-mail if you have to, but DO NOT SEND IT. I promise you that you will regret this move.
UltraTech Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 I know.. But It's unhealthy to just hold my feelings to myself. I realize the reason i'm doing NC is to do the "absence makes the heart grow fonder". I'm not really healing myself. no matter whether he's a jerk, whether what i'm doing will give him more power, i need let them out. once for all. I like him dearly and i'm wounded. i never told him instead went directly to NC. I just cannot walk away like this... thoughts?? I will give you my last though and leave you alone. I know all about what this is like. My ex looked me in the eye and swore she was just going to meet a friend....just before she went to a hotel to shag him. We lived together 4 years, ive never seen her since.... Ive never asked why she done it, or how, because she is a liar, i have to accept i i will never know the truth.....ever. What is closure? How about you put more energy into what you need from yourself and think about ways to improve you, rather than ways to get some reassurance from him. Is that a fair comment? 1
Author shakepig Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 What do you hope to achieve with this? Serious question. Why does he have to know your feelings? Why is it not enough for you to know them? during the breakup. he did all the talking and talked about this feelings. he asked me how i felt about it but my brain just shut down completely. Yea. we broke up. I was sitting there listening what he had to say. Now I put my minds together, at least I need share a piece of mind with him right? i dont know...he seems keep touching out to me and is willing to listen..
Author shakepig Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 You don't need to send him anything. from a male perspective, why?
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 during the breakup. he did all the talking and talked about this feelings. he asked me how i felt about it but my brain just shut down completely. Yea. we broke up. I was sitting there listening what he had to say. Now I put my minds together, at least I need share a piece of mind with him right? i dont know...he seems keep touching out to me and is willing to listen.. No....no you dont. It doesnt matter to him. You want a guy perspective apparently.... he doesnt care about it right now even if he sends breadcrumbs. It will set you back more than you are (though you probably think it cant get worse)
Simon Phoenix Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 from a male perspective, why? Because it makes you look like a crazy, moody, clingy, overemotional spaz. If I got a message like you are going to send I would delete it right away (probably not even finish reading it tbqh) and then say to myself "that girl is f*cked up". I mean, you obviously have it in your mind to do dumb sh*t. But the odds of it helping you are very small. If you have to, write it for yourself to get it out on to a piece of paper or a computer screen, but do not send it to him. You are just walking into disaster. 1
Author shakepig Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 Because it makes you look like a crazy, moody, clingy, overemotional spaz. If I got a message like you are going to send I would delete it right away (probably not even finish reading it tbqh) and then say to myself "that girl is f*cked up". I mean, you obviously have it in your mind to do dumb sh*t. But the odds of it helping you are very small. If you have to, write it for yourself to get it out on to a piece of paper or a computer screen, but do not send it to him. You are just walking into disaster. sending an email to express what i feel is crazy, moody, clingy, overemotional now?
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 sending an email to express what i feel is crazy, moody, clingy, overemotional now? Yes (ten characters)
UltraTech Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 sending an email to express what i feel is crazy, moody, clingy, overemotional now? Why dont you just write it first. And then read it?. And see how you feel. Dont send it yet.
Simon Phoenix Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 sending an email to express what i feel is crazy, moody, clingy, overemotional now? To him, yes. If he cared what you felt, he'd ask. Share your feelings with people worthy of them, not to people who couldn't care less. Have some self-worth and dignity and don't emote to someone who doesn't care and isn't worthy of you emoting over them. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Why dont you just write it first. And then read it?. And see how you feel. Dont send it at all. Fixed for accuracy. 1
pickflicker Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 sending an email to express what i feel is crazy, moody, clingy, overemotional now? Yes. You don't want him to see that. You want to be a cool customer. You want to be indifferent. Seen as indifferent. Let your emotions out anywhere but on him.
Xemyd Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 during the breakup. he did all the talking and talked about this feelings. he asked me how i felt about it but my brain just shut down completely. Yea. we broke up. I was sitting there listening what he had to say. Now I put my minds together, at least I need share a piece of mind with him right? i dont know...he seems keep touching out to me and is willing to listen.. That's how I was with mine too. All I could get out is "I don't know". I regret that.
HorseLuck Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Don't dooo it shakepig. He's keeping in touch with you right now to make himself feel better. After you send him an e-mail you'll probably expect a response back. What if you never get one? It will drive you insane. There are no pros to this idea..you can express yourself in a journal, your computer, paper and pen, your friends. He's the last person you need to reach out to right now. The person that currently cares the least about how you're feeling.
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