Weightlesswings Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 It will be almost two weeks contact with my ex on Wednesday. I wished him a merry Christmas and received no reply and I'm really starting to dread New Year's Eve without him. We've been broken up two weeks and a few days and I just can't get over him. Since having no contact I haven't tried to beg for him back or anything to make myself look stupid but I really do want him back in my life even as a friend. I have no idea what to do. When he broke up with me I initially said I wanted no contact so I could get over him but then I decided to text him saying I'm willing to be friends and he never responded.
petall Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 It will be almost two weeks contact with my ex on Wednesday. I wished him a merry Christmas and received no reply and I'm really starting to dread New Year's Eve without him. We've been broken up two weeks and a few days and I just can't get over him. Since having no contact I haven't tried to beg for him back or anything to make myself look stupid but I really do want him back in my life even as a friend. I have no idea what to do. When he broke up with me I initially said I wanted no contact so I could get over him but then I decided to text him saying I'm willing to be friends and he never responded. Silence is also a response. He did not respond both the 2 times you reached out. Take heed in what he is trying to tell you. It hurts but accept he wants nothing further to do with you. Best thing you must do now is go strict no contact, don't try to reach out again. It's very hard but you need to move on. Look after No. 1- yourself. 1
Emotions Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 These people hurt us and seem to go on living happy, normal lives.....don't contact him. Absolutely do not message him on New Years.....make a promise to remain NC...he couldn't even say merry Christmas back, which shows he's worthless Contacting him will only make you more upset if he doesn't respond or say what you want. Make some New Years resolutions to do activities that will help you to get over him
headinthecloud Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Im sorry for the pain youre feeling. It's awful. But NC is not a way to get your ex back its for you to heal. NC means you must seemingly drop off the planet. No texting, cyberstalking, emailing, nada...niente...zilch. Read the links in my signature, they will help. You must dedicate to going full NC for at least 3 months as that is the minimum amount of time you'll need to start letting go of your ex. Any contact in that period will set you back. It takes 4-6 months to really get over them, longer for others depending if kids are involved as well. You will have good days and bad days. On the bad days, have a plan (eg. Go to gym, catchup with friends, go to a coffee shop) and post here often. Here's a link hat helped me on the bad days during my recovery: Breakup Recovery Guide LS has a lot of good people here who have gone through what you're going through and are here to help support you. Know that you will overcome this with time and work on yourself. Be strong. This will pass.
chris21422 Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Rule #1 Don't ever be your ex friend. Your just hurting yourself doing that. You are making it hard for yourself. Stop contacting him, stop everything, block him in everything change your number and move on.. Be strong! show him you can live your life without him! Do no contact for you. It's damn hard we all know but you gotta do it. Have some self respect for yourself. He clearly doesn't wanna talk to you or have anything to do with you that's why he's not responding. Do no contact him anymore.
Author Weightlesswings Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 Im sorry for the pain youre feeling. It's awful. But NC is not a way to get your ex back its for you to heal. NC means you must seemingly drop off the planet. No texting, cyberstalking, emailing, nada...niente...zilch. Read the links in my signature, they will help. You must dedicate to going full NC for at least 3 months as that is the minimum amount of time you'll need to start letting go of your ex. Any contact in that period will set you back. It takes 4-6 months to really get over them, longer for others depending if kids are involved as well. You will have good days and bad days. On the bad days, have a plan (eg. Go to gym, catchup with friends, go to a coffee shop) and post here often. Here's a link hat helped me on the bad days during my recovery: Breakup Recovery Guide LS has a lot of good people here who have gone through what you're going through and are here to help support you. Know that you will overcome this with time and work on yourself. Be strong. This will pass. I've been trying to have fun and forget about him. I've only contacted him twice since we broke up. Then there's days like today when all I want is to be with him. Even when I go out and have a good time all my friends are in relationships and I just go home and wish he was there in bed with me. I don't lurk him on the internet but I know he probably goes on my Facebook and Instagram and checks up on me and I've made sure to make it look like I've been having fun.
headinthecloud Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 What you're feeling is part of the withdrawal - in time the pain becomes less. Fake happiness right now...fake it until you make it. And delete your ex from your life...block him on FB and all social media. And dont care what he thinks. Tell your friends you don't want to hear anything about him - no updates whatsoever...that way you can heal. It's the only way.
Author Weightlesswings Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 What you're feeling is part of the withdrawal - in time the pain becomes less. Fake happiness right now...fake it until you make it. And delete your ex from your life...block him on FB and all social media. And dont care what he thinks. Tell your friends you don't want to hear anything about him - no updates whatsoever...that way you can heal. It's the only way. I just feel like once he realises his friends are all using him and when he has to go back to work he'll try contact me again.
pickflicker Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 You have to push through. You feel better with NC after at least 3 months.
headinthecloud Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I just feel like once he realises his friends are all using him and when he has to go back to work he'll try contact me again. He doesn't want you in his life. It's an awful truth but once you realize this and accept it then you'll see how helpful NC is for you. 1
oracle Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 You can't be friends with him... Not now.. maybe 5-10 years down the road. You know this deep down, but you can't hear it over the scream of your ATTACHED heart. Trust me... I lived with my ex for 3.5yrs post break.. more than most people's relationships on here. Friends is picking at the scab... the scar gets worse and the wound doesn't heal. It will be almost two weeks contact with my ex on Wednesday. I wished him a merry Christmas and received no reply and I'm really starting to dread New Year's Eve without him. We've been broken up two weeks and a few days and I just can't get over him. Since having no contact I haven't tried to beg for him back or anything to make myself look stupid but I really do want him back in my life even as a friend. I have no idea what to do. When he broke up with me I initially said I wanted no contact so I could get over him but then I decided to text him saying I'm willing to be friends and he never responded. 3
oracle Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 "Friends" is living a life where you can't even stand up straight because the glass ceiling of possibility is so low above you. Everything in your life is affected when you walk around hunched over with your neck to one side trying to fit within that self imposed limitation. 1
Author Weightlesswings Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 But he always comes crawling back. He goes through phases when he can't handle anything and needs a break from everyone and everything Kind of like mini break downs Then comes crying back This is the longest it's been though.
pickflicker Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 But he always comes crawling back. He goes through phases when he can't handle anything and needs a break from everyone and everything Kind of like mini break downs Then comes crying back This is the longest it's been though. So...he loves you because he keeps crawling back? Sorry, but it's not true. You're just a crutch for him. That's not good enough, you deserve more. 2
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 (edited) So...he loves you because he keeps crawling back? Sorry, but it's not true. You're just a crutch for him. That's not good enough, you deserve more. This speaks so much truth. If he truly "loves you" like he claims, then he wouldnt keep doing such things. You deserve 900 times better than that. Maybe its time for YOU to finally break the cycle. Edited December 30, 2013 by ConfusedHumanBeing 1
oracle Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 And you keep taking him back? How many times do you need to step in sh*t before you learn that it stinks? But he always comes crawling back. He goes through phases when he can't handle anything and needs a break from everyone and everything Kind of like mini break downs Then comes crying back This is the longest it's been though.
Am4Real Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 This post may help you understand your urges. Give it a read and make your decision on your current state and commitment to yourself... LINK
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