SJC2008 Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Went out last night for the first time in a while. I've been out to hole in the walls but not out out to the real night scene in a while, until last night and what I seen was shocking. I seen a lot of women leading their men through the bar. I'm talking out front, holding their hands like they were the man. I'd say I seen about 10 instances of this. Not the sporadic here and there like I used to. Have men become so spineless in this generation where the woman leading is becoming the norm? I used to think that many women wore the pants behind closed doors but now they're wearing the pants in public. Men lead and women follow and that's the bottom line. I don't mean in a 'It's my way or the highway' sense but in a healthy way. Are women who want to be led by men becoming a thing of the past?
Eggplant Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Did the guys seem reluctant, or were they content?
Eggplant Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 At least somebody was leading somebody, and the couple was united. I've had dates who left me in the dust, walking like half a block ahead of me.
Author SJC2008 Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 Did the guys seem reluctant, or were they content? They seemed fine with it.
HopelessRomantic76 Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 They seemed fine with it. So why do you care? people should do what their comfortable with,having a penis doesnt mean youre automatically a leader Myself i dont need to be "lead" im not a child but i what other people do doesnt bother or effect me i dont know why it does to you
Eggplant Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 They seemed fine with it.If they're fine, then great. I enjoy being lead in public by the guy. I like many of the old customs. I think it is respectful when, for instance, the man walks on the outer side of the street, between the woman and traffic. Most guys my age don't even know about that ... is that outdated? But some guys on this board will be offended that they are expected to take the lead. Really, it just comes down to what makes both parties happy and feel valued and respected.
mortensorchid Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 I have wondered that myself. I am a dominant force, no question about that, but I know that the ultimate decisions lie in the hands of the man. Who likes to be given an ultimatum or a threat? No one. I have a former friend of mine who was a girl who chased. She moved twice in six months (to other states) for guys. She DEMANDED that the second one marry her. The man (if you want to call him that) said up until the end that he did not want to get married so quickly, but he was weak enough that he went along with it. They are now divorced. Maybe it's my luck, but I have dedicated myself to staying calm, cool and collected. I am reasonable, easy going, and flexible, at least I try to be. Often times when I ask what they want to do, I am told "Whatever you like" so then I make a decision and we do it. I think the guys want, at least in the initial stages, to make the woman happy. Then they get annoyed or something when they are doing things that the woman wants all the time and they have no say in it even though they were offered. What to do? I don't know anymore.
bubbaganoosh Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 If they're fine, then great. I enjoy being lead in public by the guy. I like many of the old customs. I think it is respectful when, for instance, the man walks on the outer side of the street, between the woman and traffic. Most guys my age don't even know about that ... is that outdated? But some guys on this board will be offended that they are expected to take the lead. Really, it just comes down to what makes both parties happy and feel valued and respected. You know it's funny that you mentioned the thing about how guys walk on the outside of the street between the women and traffic. After my divorce in 92, I dated a woman and she gave me an ear full when I opened the car door for her and the door to the theater. That same night when we left the theater and got to the car, I opened the door and got the same thing. When I got in the car, I told her that if you want respect, then I'll respect you, if not then I'll treat you like a street walker and i can be fine with both. I also told her that maybe I'm a bit backwards being that I was in my mid 40's and not too used to dating but I treat people like I want to be treated. Her reply was her arm wasn't broke. I said doesn't matter. Want to be treated like a lady, then fine and if I'm going to get a ration of crap for being polite then find someone else. I dropped her off at her house and as far as I was concerned, she could piss up a stick. Left it that way too.
Author SJC2008 Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 So why do you care? people should do what their comfortable with,having a penis doesnt mean youre automatically a leader Myself i dont need to be "lead" im not a child but i what other people do doesnt bother or effect me i dont know why it does to you I care because it's proof that the western man is slowly but surely becoming pussified. It's hard to find women who want to be led. Part of it has to do with my people picker so I take responsibility for that but I don't think it's a fallacy to say that more often than not, women run the show in relationships.
Author SJC2008 Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 If they're fine, then great. I enjoy being lead in public by the guy. I like many of the old customs. I think it is respectful when, for instance, the man walks on the outer side of the street, between the woman and traffic. Most guys my age don't even know about that ... is that outdated? But some guys on this board will be offended that they are expected to take the lead. Really, it just comes down to what makes both parties happy and feel valued and respected. I agree with you that if they're fine with it great, and it's their business. But for me, if this dynamic is becoming more prominant, on it's way to a norm, it's going to be harder to find the type of woman I'm looking for. I know what you mean about the curb thing, I do it. It seems like many "traditions" are sliping away.
HopelessRomantic76 Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 I care because it's proof that the western man is slowly but surely becoming pussified. It's hard to find women who want to be led. Part of it has to do with my people picker so I take responsibility for that but I don't think it's a fallacy to say that more often than not, women run the show in relationships. Why do you feel the need to lead? two adults can come to a mutual agreement on things and in instances where one has more knowledge on a subject then the other they can lead or make the decision in that area, the idea because somebody has a penis they should make every decision in a relationship wehter there more qualified in that area then the women or not is assinine to me
Author SJC2008 Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 Why do you feel the need to lead? two adults can come to a mutual agreement on things and in instances where one has more knowledge on a subject then the other they can lead or make the decision in that area, the idea because somebody has a penis they should make every decision in a relationship wehter there more qualified in that area then the women or not is assinine to me Leading is not making every decision, don't know where you got that Idea. I'm all for mutual agreements.
Uwaae Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 I think the poster feels the need to CONTROL, and thats the bottom line. Who cares who holds who's hand, you arnt in these peoples relationship, its like a jealous on-looker that doesnt know the full story, giving his 2 cents
Author SJC2008 Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 (edited) I think the poster feels the need to CONTROL, and thats the bottom line. Who cares who holds who's hand, you arnt in these peoples relationship, its like a jealous on-looker that doesnt know the full story, giving his 2 cents I knew this was going to happen, you must not know my history. I usually wind up with controlling women and used to be very attracted to them. Now that I'm aware of my "problem" I know what to look for when dating someone. Know somebodys history before you judge them: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/364883-can-you-really-change-your-people-picker Edited December 23, 2013 by SJC2008 add
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