loveiswar101 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Ok Girls and Boys. It's hard to say but I guess I need to move on. People may or may not of read my posts in Breaking Up section. Nutshell, I thought I had love and thought I we were both happy but guess I was wrong for various reasons. I do still love her and care about her but after this break up and one in August I guess we are not mean't to be. I have decided today to try and move on. Hardest part is the last 2 nights I have had dreams of her and I hope this will fade. Coping side of this is exhausting. I live in a country where I have no family, limited friends and 3 children from my one and only marriage that ended 6 yrs back, these live interstate. Have my own business that pays the bills but to be honest hate it. Following that I have not great education but am not the dullest crayon in the box. Today it starts...I will try to post each day as a way to cope and let things out and at least feel I'm talking to someone. Writing a list of today's tasks. Tidy unit i live in, go for walk.. 3
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Yes. Move on. You are becoming stronger and will only get stronger. I sincerely hope you find a real woman, who is willing to truly love you. 1
Mariposa10 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 We're all here to support you!! We will all do it together with you. 2
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 We're all here to support you!! We will all do it together with you. Are you volunteering everyone? Lol.... 1
Mariposa10 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Pretty much Are you volunteering everyone? Lol.... 1
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Pretty much You're going to laugh...but, I actually thought this was another thread, when I asked that, lol. But yes: Let's travel this road here together. And be a source of encouragement and strength for the OP. 1
Mariposa10 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I see you're doing a lot of "volunteering" around here yes, we're all in this together. You're going to laugh...but, I actually thought this was another thread, when I asked that, lol. But yes: Let's travel this road here together. And be a source of encouragement and strength for the OP.
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I see you're doing a lot of "volunteering" around here yes, we're all in this together. You implying something? the only thing I volunteer for is some cookies. Since you are a team player, you could...um...give some cookies? Lol... delicious. But in all seriousness...I feel for the OP. He sounds strong though. He will be just fine. 1
Author loveiswar101 Posted December 22, 2013 Author Posted December 22, 2013 Well day 2 begins, yesterday was ok i guess, even went for short run walk. But this morning woke up early distressed and tired of all the emotions. The 2 worst thoughts I have are.. 1. Where to now ? Do I run away from it all. Not just saying it but there are 2 ways to run away from it all and both look optional. 2. Why Why after such a general 15 mths of happiness she just wiped her hands to me. I know there no other guy, I know we got on well. I know I can't answer this one but it still the 2nd of the 2 main thoughts that get me down. I'm so lost, my kids are here for xmas and sad to say I wish I was alone so I could just dig a hole and hop in it forever. Well jobs for today..couple hours of work..walk..maybe do some ironing..
strive Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 I think it's great that your kind are there to get your mind off the sad things. Focus on them and give them the best christmas ever! Do lots of bonding and other fun stuff. Children are great for healing. Don't let yourself be alone with your thoughts or you'll just be more depressed.
Author loveiswar101 Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 I think it's great that your kind are there to get your mind off the sad things. Focus on them and give them the best christmas ever! Do lots of bonding and other fun stuff. Children are great for healing. Don't let yourself be alone with your thoughts or you'll just be more depressed. Strive thanks for your thoughts. Just spent 30 mins on help line as had to speak to someone who doesn't know me or judge me. I'm in such a mess this very second. It's not even the fact that my ex left me now, guess part of it, but it's more the issue I'm scarred of the future (with ex atleast there was a light) and and really don't have the energy or time to keep going and trying. Feel like im exactly the same place I was 4 yrs ago and will be in another 4 years and 4 years after that...
ponchsox Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 The first month after my BU, I struggled badly maintaining NC. I texted, called, checked Facebook, sent letters, you name it. Finally, through the advice on this board, I said enough is enough. I've been 6 weeks NC and I feel stronger than ever and feel really in control of my life. I even think I'm ready to date again and have put the past in the past.
Author loveiswar101 Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 The first month after my BU, I struggled badly maintaining NC. I texted, called, checked Facebook, sent letters, you name it. Finally, through the advice on this board, I said enough is enough. I've been 6 weeks NC and I feel stronger than ever and feel really in control of my life. I even think I'm ready to date again and have put the past in the past. To be honest I'm happy for u, but in another its not that easy this end. 1
Author loveiswar101 Posted December 24, 2013 Author Posted December 24, 2013 Ok yesterday was a nightmare, today only a few tears, kids are here tonight so all good there. However have broke NC..pathetic I know but if wanna know http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/450588-broke-nc-one-step-back-worth Anyhow will soldier on...watch plenty of Youtube clips last night, stemmed the emotions for a while and now on the the hunt for audio books to stimulate the mind on focusing on me and accepting what has happened and where to go from here.
Author loveiswar101 Posted December 25, 2013 Author Posted December 25, 2013 Well I guess deep down today would be as hard as they come. Xmas day, woke up in tears and in bad way. Kids happy with presents and now there gone for the day. I guess after breaking contact yesterday I knew she would text today and she did wishing happy xmas and would have a drink for me (as she knows I'm off the booze). I just replied "xxx". I am 100% sure we will never be together again unless by an act of god. Being aware of that is soothing but I do miss her lots, she was my best friend, lover and believed my partner till the end. I'm just lost now in a world of uncertainty, work, goals and life in general. Pray for me.
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