solostman Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 Hello here is my story in the first thread I wrote http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/448831-so-lost#post5401410 We agreed to NC 12/14/2013 around the noon time. I have been doing excellent at not contacting her, but I do slip and check her social media such as instragram because I'm still following her, but it's nothing like before. I don't want to make it weird if I unfollow her, I want to seem cool and unbothered by all this. I know she'll get mad if I block her on facebook or any other websites. We aren't friends on facebook; and I've hidden all my details , but we didn't block eachother. Anyways my question is should I respond to this text? Keep in mind we did plan Christmas presents for eachother around 11:50 AM today she said "I'm gonna give you christmas gifts ok? I am sad to not " I haven't responded, should I respond ? Should we exchange gifts? I did get her a gift as she got me one too. Long story short 5 year relationship, left for another guy, comes back 5 months later, I foolisly accept, thinks were great for 3 something months and now december she wants friends we argue about it, which leads up to her not being friends at all she says "I can't be your friend right now this is all too much" and now, 12/15/2013 she sends me that text. This is very draining. I really don't know if I should respond I know she already bought me a christmas present I'm tired of her not wanting what she wants and I don't want to wait for her anymore sorry if this is confusing i'm so lost Q_q thank you All!
BigGirlPantiesOn Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 WHY..does the fact she contacted you change the COMMITMENT you made to yourself to LET HER GO...and go NC? Break up means NO MORE RELATIONSHIP!!!!! 4
organizedchaos Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 Why the hell should you care if she gets made if you unfriend her on social media? She's your ex! You're doing this all wrong. 3
Author solostman Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 Yeah you're all right, it's just so draining and exhausting, I mean if she wanted to really try and fix things and get back together things would have ended up different. It was crazy because she wanted me to move in with her and all of these plans of staying together. What do you guys think her intention is of saying she wants to give me christmas presents because she's sad not to? Is she using this as an excuse to talk to me to see if I still care? Literally yesterday she said she doesn't want to be friends, Literally the day before that she wanted to be friends. She emphasized that when we were acting like we were together it was wrong to do and wanted to do it the right way; start as friends and then see from there if we'd want a relationship Idk she's pretty fickle minded changing her mind and having extreme emotional changes I don't know what's her problem One day she wants nothing to do for me and now she wants to give me a present I really don't know what i'm asking for Like I wouldn't mind being her friend, but I'm focusing on getting past her romantically so far all of this is draining and it's just turning me off Do you think she genuinely wants to be friends by wanting to give me presents? Are these signs of mind games? because if she wants to be friends genuinely, I'll be her friend (albeit not a good one, i'm not going to be there for her emotionally if she finds new guy problems HELL NO etc) but if she's just using it as power control or to make her feel better that's something I'm not going to give her Its so complicated because her family are in really good terms with me and trust me with her and everything, the sisters think we are dating and when I went out one night with her elder sister , girls were hitting on me and she kept telling them i was dating her sister BLAH IDK GUYS (and gals) SHOULD I RESPOND AND BE LIKE OKAY That's cool she gives me the present and then i full blastedly NC? idk So confused on what to do but what I do know is , I want to get over her romantically and possibly be her friend? SO Im so sorry this is confusing Should I respond to her in hopes for a good standing as friends and giving gifts etc or do you think she's just playing mind games? THATS MY REAL QUESTION THANKS ALL SORRY LOL Ya'll know how love and relationships are. CRAZY.
Author solostman Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 Urgh, who cares. No contact,, no contact, no contact... AHH i'll try. I want the shirt though. BAHAHAH. Ugh this is so dumb :'/
organizedchaos Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH AN EX??? Really, why? You both are SO young. Move on. You'll have so many more relationships. 2
polynomial Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 Don't reply, don't accept the gift. She made her choice and needs to stick to it. Same with you. 2
reddragon588 Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 Delete her on social media and don't accept gifts from her and don't contact or reply to her. You want to "appear" like you don't care and are unfazed by it? Start by not caring. 1
Author solostman Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 Yeah it's all complicated, I didn't respond to her at all I'm feeling proud that I'm finally able to NC her. I texted her sister last night (her family is on extremely good terms with me, they still ask me for help and we let eachother borrow things , help eachother's family out, they are like family to me) to use as reference for a job application (she has worked there) and moments later I get a text from my ex "I think it's rude that you can text my sister but not reply to me" I was NC for a while but it ticked me off so bad How can anyone say that they want you out of their life; basically an F you I don't care about you/ appreciate you then text you the next day that you want to give them a present I got mad called her an hour later or something and told her off, I felt good about it but I don't know if it was a good thing? Maybe I should have just NC. She was extremely childish I basically told her that I refuse to be treated like a trash (she was cold and rude when we decided to go NC), and if you tell someone to get out of their lives don't expect them to still be there for you (in regards to her texting me the very next day >:[) and that I deserve much better and I will find better; I told her that I'm not waiting around anymore or playing games, and that all she's been doing is treating me like sh**, I don't need her in my life. And that if she wanted me out of her life, then stay out of my life and that she doesn't control the people I talk to (her family) blah blah just defending myself I felt really good; I always used to sympathize and beg and plead i'm just fed up Then out of her mouth came the most sickening childish retort i've heard from her "Fine fine fine, i'm just going to return the presents I bought you" That just made me facepalm so hard like seriously URg that made me so mad Like who is she to think she has that power over me, like a parent restricting a child something if they are being bad I told her that she has no power in validating what I can and can't get , and screw you for treating like a dog, and I refuse to be a lap dog and hung up. She texted me saying that she wasn't treating me like I was her bitch blah blah , trying to put the guilt on me and sending me pictures of the presents she bought me like Oh i got this from your favorite store, it's your favorite flavor, your favorite scent, your favorite ________ (which they were, they were extremely nice presents, and exactly what I wanted and little to no one know what I really like I was tempted to just play it cool and let her give me the presents and not give her anything in return LOL, but nah.) I ignored the BS and told her basically that I'm moving on and not waiting for her, and that I don't need her in my life with the way she's treating me, and that if she wants to be "friends" then prove it if she wants me more than "friends" then prove it I go to bed after that she texts me the next day Oh blah blah I was gonna stop talking to you completely but that was mean to do so I just want to give you presents, be your friend blah blah I'm legitimately sorry for every stupid thing i've done to you you deserve better and i'm not going to interefere with your happiness so i'll just go i have so much more to say but i'm not going to say it you were an epic person and an ideal first love i'm not going to respond to you anymore this is so hard for me good bye please take care of yourself Didn't respond, deleted her number and text right away it's just so draining Like my love (i admit i still love her) is turning into indifference. but I'm moving the hell on I don't think I can be her friend. It's so complicated when you love someone and have 5 years of relationship, especially doing those crucial times of growing up teenage to early adult hood, it really sticks to you, and going through EVERYTHING together. Like I'm really pushing for me to move on, I'm tired of this trash and someone who doesn't treat me right. Accepting that the very person you love, isn't meant/good for you is extremely painful but it's necessary to move on and make room for new happiness. I really hope I can get through this as quickly I want to find happiness alone or with someone better. AGH. hang in there everyone; it's really hard but i'm glad I haven't contacted her today I'm glad she blocked me on facebook one less thing I have to do last thing is the will power to remove her from instagram :'/ Idk why she would block me , a sign that she cares? or that she's pissed off that I stood up for myself? I don't really care though I'm just curious. MAN THIS IS CRAZY sorry if i wrote too much and thank each and everyone of you who read this and those who respond it all helps we are all here on this forum to heal and get advice THANK YOU FOR THIS WEBSITE I wish I would have signed up during my initial heart break, it's so therapeutic and takes your mind off trying to contact that person!
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