keeptryingormoveon Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Backstory: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/445098-should-we-keep-trying-s-over It's been 12 days since no contact. I still see her at work every weekend and Mondays. During the rest of the week, I try to keep busy and actually do get happy sometimes. But once I see her at work on the weekends, all my feelings start coming back. I don't know what to do. She was my best friend before we started our relationship. We knew each other since elementary school (we're 24). I know she still likes me and still care for me a whole lot. Right now she just doesn't have the feelings for a relationship and I think she trying to move on too. I'm so afraid of losing her and I know she afraid of losing me as a friend too. Every weekend after work, I just feel like talking to her to see how she feeling, but that will ruin the progress of my no contact. I'm not even sure if my progress is already ruined since I see her 3 days a week at work and we tend to look at each sometimes. My head and heart is a mess right now... I feel so hopeless knowing I can't do a thing to fix it.
fixing Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 Is it possible/viable to get a job elsewhere? This is seriously bad for you. I read your other thread. She lost interest in you which is really hard and painful. Trust me, i know how you feel. So is it doable to go and work elsewhere? If not, you really got to man up now, shrug off this sadness and low self esteem. Especially around her and at the workplace. I dont care how hard it is, but you gotta pull your shoulders back, regain your composure and dont even look at her again.
Author keeptryingormoveon Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 Is it possible/viable to get a job elsewhere? This is seriously bad for you. I read your other thread. She lost interest in you which is really hard and painful. Trust me, i know how you feel. So is it doable to go and work elsewhere? If not, you really got to man up now, shrug off this sadness and low self esteem. Especially around her and at the workplace. I dont care how hard it is, but you gotta pull your shoulders back, regain your composure and dont even look at her again. I'm going to try my best after the holidays to look for another one. I just can't stand the possibility of losing my best friend this way. I don't know why, but I still hope it will change. I know it's over and everybody says it's over, but why do I keep hoping she will change her mind. Everyday I still hope she will text me to ask me to talk about us, and as the days go on, it seems less likely.
fixing Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 Well, it really doesnt help you in your quest for getting back with her if you are constantly around her, especially at a sh1 tty work place. That will drain any hope whatsoever out of a reconcile. Im not saying it will happen, disappearing from her life may (tiny tiny chance) may make her miss you. But, its more logical and healthy for you to drill it into your head that this girl has no more feelings for you. Can you start to go out and date again? Any other girls lined up at the work place? Anyways, your not able to do NC because you work with her. So until you can, completely change, ACT like your over her and that you have moved on.
Author keeptryingormoveon Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 Well, it really doesnt help you in your quest for getting back with her if you are constantly around her, especially at a sh1 tty work place. That will drain any hope whatsoever out of a reconcile. Im not saying it will happen, disappearing from her life may (tiny tiny chance) may make her miss you. But, its more logical and healthy for you to drill it into your head that this girl has no more feelings for you. Can you start to go out and date again? Any other girls lined up at the work place? Anyways, your not able to do NC because you work with her. So until you can, completely change, ACT like your over her and that you have moved on. I help her get the job at my place, but no there are no other suitable girls there. I don't even feel like looking for another one. Yeah, I feel like NC is not even working since I see her at work and she knows I'm sad and she knows I still miss her. Sorry for the rant, just trying to flush some stuff out of my system.
fixing Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 Yeah, there is NEVER a need to apologise mate. Thats what this site is for. Its amazing in fact. Well, considering you are stuck there, i cant emphasize enough, that you gotta put on a brave face and go back to the confident happy you. NO woman would find you/me attractive if we were moping around the place feeling sorry for ourselves. Man up now and just tough it out and try to get another place of work. Also, you dont have to try and find a new 'gf' but its very important to get back out there and interact with other woman, even as friends. And guys to. Just dont shut down and switch off from the world.
Author keeptryingormoveon Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 Yeah, there is NEVER a need to apologise mate. Thats what this site is for. Its amazing in fact. Well, considering you are stuck there, i cant emphasize enough, that you gotta put on a brave face and go back to the confident happy you. NO woman would find you/me attractive if we were moping around the place feeling sorry for ourselves. Man up now and just tough it out and try to get another place of work. Also, you dont have to try and find a new 'gf' but its very important to get back out there and interact with other woman, even as friends. And guys to. Just dont shut down and switch off from the world. I hang out with my friends a lot. It's just after work when I get home, is where all my feelings come rushing at me.
Am4Real Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 If you keep picking at at a wound or scab it never heals, does it? Gong to work and seeing her time and time and time again is your own scab, every time you see her you pick it off and open the wound. Given that, it's best for you to leave if you possibly can, otherwise this is going to be one very long journey.
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