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How do respond to her?

Wall E

By Wall E,
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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BigGirlPantiesOn

BigGirlPantiesOn

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Really...so many people in this thread are telling you WHAT TO DO...yet you dont want to let go...

 

so go ahead and do it YOUR way (which isnt working)...let us know how it goes.

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veggirl

veggirl

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What makes you think you have changed? Drastic change takes a long time and a lot of work. What did you do? Don't respond, your message looks desperate and transparent.

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ConfusedHumanBeing

ConfusedHumanBeing

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thats the thing i'm doing the opposite of begging, i'm letting her know that i'm happy for her even if it's with someone else. i just feel like thats what she wants to hear, and maybe her view of me will change. if you heard what she wants from me, then you'd understand.

 

Nothing will change SHE IS DONE!!! All you are doing now is making a awful situation worse. This story is carbon copy of almost EVERY story on here. We all know what your ex "wants" and its no different than anything else. Let it go

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ConfusedHumanBeing

ConfusedHumanBeing

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fine i wont respond. going NC is my only chance of her coming back then.

 

No no no no...you're not listening. NC is NOT used to get an ex back. Far from it. NC is used to MOVE FORWARD and heal. Reconcilations with an ex is very very rare, but it can happen. For a successful one, the only way it works is if both parties move forward, work on them selves and (this is key) BOTH parties want to reconclie. It seems like your ex wants no part in that and what she is saying to you shows there is much more to it.

 

Honestly dude, move forward. It gets better.

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Wall E

Wall E

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No no no no...you're not listening. NC is NOT used to get an ex back. Far from it. NC is used to MOVE FORWARD and heal. Reconcilations with an ex is very very rare, but it can happen. For a successful one, the only way it works is if both parties move forward, work on them selves and (this is key) BOTH parties want to reconclie. It seems like your ex wants no part in that and what she is saying to you shows there is much more to it.

 

Honestly dude, move forward. It gets better.

 

she tells me that all the time, move forward and to work on myself. all this time i've been pushing to come back and she said, i'm rushing, not letting her heal.

 

but besides the point, don't you think i'm right... if you love someone, you want the best for them, even if you're not in the picture."

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ConfusedHumanBeing

ConfusedHumanBeing

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she tells me that all the time, move forward and to work on myself. all this time i've been pushing to come back and she said, i'm rushing, not letting her heal.

 

but besides the point, don't you think i'm right... if you love someone, you want the best for them, even if you're not in the picture."

 

A very basic thing for an ex to say. Her wanting you to move forward means she wants you to stop bothering her. Youve made mistakes...we all have...but now just move past it and her. IF (and this is a VERY STRONG if) there is ever a chance in the future, its when you have moved on from it and are a different person. By that time, usually, you've found someone better.

 

I mean yes its cool to want your ex to be happy. Means there isn't any hate....but I feel you want her to THINK that about.you so it will make her "realize" what she did and get her back. Sadly, it doesn't work that way.

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cavalier99

cavalier99

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If you send that your going to come across like a complete pussy. Go NC.

 

Also if you send that you will really regret being so nice and letting her off the hook for smashing your heart ..especially when you hit the anger stage.

 

Youd be much better off saying f*ck off and neve call me again than what you wrote. At least that way you have some morsel of self respect left. But id say stay NC. Cav

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Wall E

Wall E

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If you send that your going to come across like a complete pussy. Go NC.

 

Also if you send that you will really regret being so nice and letting her off the hook for smashing your heart ..especially when you hit the anger stage.

 

Youd be much better off saying f*ck off and neve call me again than what you wrote. At least that way you have some morsel of self respect left. But id say stay NC. Cav

 

so i should come off as an douchebag? what good would anger do? it will only push her away, which i don't want.

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Chi townD

Chi townD

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alright guys. to tell you the truth i want to get back with her, i've begged and pleaded for so long. for the first time i want to show her something different.

 

what are my options for getting her back, if its to go NC, how will she see a change in me???

 

 

You want to show her something different? Then don't respond and go NC on her. That would be different!

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ConfusedHumanBeing

ConfusedHumanBeing

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so i should come off as an douchebag? what good would anger do? it will only push her away, which i don't want.

 

You're having a HARD time realizing that its over dude. There is NOTHING you can do that will make her change her decision. NOTHING. You could randomly turn into Brad Pitt and give her thousands of dollars and none of it matters. Therefor, acting like a douche, acting very compassionate, acting very passive....none of it matters. She wants to be done with the relationship so the only thing you can do is listen. You cant force someone to be with you if they dont want it.

 

The ONLY thing you can do is keep your pride and move on. Dont beg, dont whine, dont try and make her jealous...nothing. Be a ghost and keep your dignity and DO NOT CONTACT HER ANYMORE. This is the only thing you can do.

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ks0985

ks0985

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Just go NC, let her realize what life without you is like. Thats what shes asking for right now. Like others have said playing the nice guy card just makes you look like a weak pussy. A man would not accept a goodbye text like that... a real man would say **** you im going to move on with my life and find someone better.

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Wall E

Wall E

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Just go NC, let her realize what life without you is like. Thats what shes asking for right now. Like others have said playing the nice guy card just makes you look like a weak pussy. A man would not accept a goodbye text like that... a real man would say **** you im going to move on with my life and find someone better.

 

i'm no pussy, i have class. i respect her and i'm not the type to go rebound like that, cause i have heart.

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ConfusedHumanBeing

ConfusedHumanBeing

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i'm no pussy, i have class. i respect her and i'm not the type to go rebound like that, cause i have heart.

 

I dont know how many times we have to bash this through your head lol. Whatever you do doesnt matter to her. Go out and bang 100 girls....be celibate....none of it matters to her.

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Wall E

Wall E

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I dont know how many times we have to bash this through your head lol. Whatever you do doesnt matter to her. Go out and bang 100 girls....be celibate....none of it matters to her.

 

i'm just saying i wouldn't say "f*ck you, i'll find someone better" to her or anybody. thats not what a gentleman says. i'm courteous.

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ks0985

ks0985

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i'm just saying i wouldn't say "f*ck you, i'll find someone better" to her or anybody. thats not what a gentleman says. i'm courteous.

 

I never told you to actually say that to her lol, i meant to use that as a mentality in your head. Use this as motivation bruh.....

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ConfusedHumanBeing

ConfusedHumanBeing

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i'm just saying i wouldn't say "f*ck you, i'll find someone better" to her or anybody. thats not what a gentleman says. i'm courteous.

 

haha ah gotcha. Well either way, I wouldnt say ANYTHING to her. Talking to her now only makes matters so much worse. Its a VERY slippery slope that will just make it worse. Think of it as a mosquito bite. You keep scratching it, the bigger and worse it gets. Better not to scratch at all and let it heal itself.

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LimboDancer

LimboDancer

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Don't reply. "This will be my final goodbye". Let me tell you, as a person that has been majorly f***ed with, I know that to be an incredibly manipulative message. Don't bite. I did and I regret it.

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Wall E

Wall E

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Don't reply. "This will be my final goodbye". Let me tell you, as a person that has been majorly f***ed with, I know that to be an incredibly manipulative message. Don't bite. I did and I regret it.

 

so with her saying "this is my final goodbye," i shouldn't take her word?

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veggirl

veggirl

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BEGGING & PLEADING is what pushed her away.

 

You haven't even TRIED NC so how do you know it will "push her away"?

 

You DO KNOW that begging & pleading pushed her away.......so now you want to...try that again? Hello?

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Yasuandio

Yasuandio

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Man, you got to stop looking for HOPE, period.

 

When she says it's her last goodby, what the heck do you think that means? She is saying that is the last correspondence she intends to have with you. It means it is over. Like I, and four pages of others have told you, your only choice is NC, period.

 

Her statement does not call for a reply whatsoever. It is the ultimate "kiss-off" reply, written in such a way as to relieve her own conscious. You are misinterpreting the "kindness" of how she expressed the "kiss-off" - and re-interpreting the message as if their remains a dialogue between you. Not.

 

You got to stop fantasizing about the "what if's" in this imaginary relationship that DOES NOT EXIST. Your in denial right now. Everyone is trying to prevent you from making a fool out of yourself.

 

Soon enough - your going to get the picture. Maybe you need to get you teeth knocked out to get it through you head. After four pages, and the outstanding readings suggested to you - I don't think you are going to get it.

 

Let us know what happens if you do send the letter. We will be here to scrap you off the asphalt. You certainly will not be the first one to do something dumb. I wish you good luck young man. Yas

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Simon Phoenix

Simon Phoenix

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This is the mentality you need to have

 

 

Honestly, there's nothing you can say to her that won't make you look like a complete wuss, so say nothing.

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Wall E

Wall E

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uggh, this is an uneasy feeling. feeling hopeless, unwanted and like i'm no good. like this is giving up. sucks because my birthday and christmas are coming up, and i'm going to be depressed.

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