NC this tough? HELP

[VirginiaBob]

The purpose of no contact for me is to basically just get away from her after she dumped me. I wouldn't take her back no matter how much she begged. It's actually funny, she dumped me, yet keeps sending me emails/voice messages trying to reconcile. I don't respond. Basically, she left me after all the wedding plans were already in place. I had to cancel all the wedding services (catering, flowers, dj, etc.) which cost me a lot of money and heartache (the deposits did), but the worst thing was having to inform my family and friends that I sent invitations to that the wedding is cancelled. To me, this is very embarrasing and the action is irreversible. I'm done with her. She is dead to me. Call it cold-hearted, I don't care.

[iceisles]

Originally posted by VirginiaBob

The purpose of no contact for me is to basically just get away from her after she dumped me. I wouldn't take her back no matter how much she begged. It's actually funny, she dumped me, yet keeps sending me emails/voice messages trying to reconcile. I don't respond. Basically, she left me after all the wedding plans were already in place. I had to cancel all the wedding services (catering, flowers, dj, etc.) which cost me a lot of money and heartache (the deposits did), but the worst thing was having to inform my family and friends that I sent invitations to that the wedding is cancelled. To me, this is very embarrasing and the action is irreversible. I'm done with her. She is dead to me. Call it cold-hearted, I don't care.

 

I'm so sorry to hear that, Bob. Now I understand why your recent posts have had such underlying hurt behind them. If she did that to me, I wouldn't bother with her again either.

[VirginiaBob]

the not-so-funny thing is that this is the 2nd time I had a girl leave me pretty close to the wedding date. The last was 6 years ago.

[theone44]

Originally posted by mixwell

Thanks for the advice ! i know. i was soo close to calling but i went upstairs and took a shower and got dressed and now its not as bad ( i had just woken up not too long ago. i sleep in late) i didnt shower because of her. haha. although i did think of her in the shower haha. anyways yeah i CANT call her i have to stick to it !! Ill be soo much happier when this is all over with ! im sure the condition were in that we will get back together but she said shes still hurt and pissed off at me so the best thing to do is give her space. Although hung out quite a bit when i first got back. (ive been back almost a month now) but this past week shes been kinda bitchy and blowin me off so yeah. Women ! cant live with em, cant live without em ! Why does god punish us like this ? haha

 

thanks !

 

 

 

You can do it man. my ex gf broke it off from me in July,and it been six months for me since i last seem or talk to my ex. I went thru the misery,the whole 9 yard and now i'm feeling great. So guess who won......"ME"hahahehe

[iceisles]

Originally posted by theone44

You can do it man. my ex gf broke it off from me in July,and it been six months for me since i last seem or talk to my ex. I went thru the misery,the whole 9 yard and now i'm feeling great. So guess who won......"ME"hahahehe

 

How long after she broke things off did you finally come out of your misery for good? Did anything in particular (other than not talking to her) help you get past it?

[VirginiaBob]

A good rebound relationship also helps. At least for a guy since the important sex part is still there.

[theone44]

Originally posted by iceisles

How long after she broke things off did you finally come out of your misery for good? Did anything in particular (other than not talking to her) help you get past it?

 

 

 

Well the first two months was the hardest. then i started thinking,why the hell i'm sitting around sobbing,wasting my time about some-one who have left me. a man or a woman can leave you,but God will never leave,plus a lot of prayer,and being busy is what really help me get over the situation. The best advice i can give anyone,is to leave them alone...do the "NO CONTACT" 100%,move on with your life,and make a great success of your life. Remember there are lots of men and women out there who will love you .respect you,and give you the time of day.

[nan]

Mixwell,

I guess you now realize why contacting your ex doesn't work. Don't let her get the best of you. If she wants to talk, she'll call you. I'm very sure of it, my ex (who broke up with me) calls all the time after I stopped calling. Haha! Anyways, listen to some good underground hip hop, I would recommend, Eyedea & Abilities, Atmosphere, Aesop Rock, Pharcyde. Any of those should lift your spirits. Hope it helps! Keep me posted!

[mixwell]

Heres a weird thing though.. shes been avoiding me for 1 1/2 weeks. so this was why i went to NC. But after talking to her yesterday i think i might know why.. the last time i hung out with her (almost 2 weeks ago) i said something about this one girl ive been kinda hanging out with.. i had mentioned something that she tried to sit on my lap when i was at the gym one time. (this was when me and my ex were together) she got kinda mad and i said i didnt do anything and i told her to get off me. But the rest of that night we hung out she acted normal though after she had gotten mad earlier so i thought things were cool. i guess not.

 

so thats the only reason i can think of. So i left her a voicemail and basically said that if thats the reason its stupid and that ive never cheated on her and i never would. its childish and immature. Besides my ex is better looking than the other girl and i was never rejected from sex with my ex so i had no reason to. anyways when i woke up today I guess my ex had called me from work so i dont know.

 

I kinda want to see what she has to say. So i will return her call to see why she called me. maybe she thought i had cheated or something and thats why. So who knows.. but right after I find out why she called me and see whats she has too say im going back to NC. So i will update you when i find out what she has to say.

[strange love]

oK i BEEN READING YOUR POSTS

DAMN IT MAN GET A F+++ING HANDLE.

 

In any case she called you, she didnt leave a message. Now wait for her to call you again ok.. dont call just wait.

 

Want stuff to do..get a hobby. Big a big brother to some kid. Hang out with other women. Do charity work. But dont call...

let her call again.. maybe.. pick up the maybe not..

 

best way is if she is really that into to then you can smoke her out this way but if she calls you calls u and doent get an answer she will wonder why or..perhaps even think u are ticked at her and perhaps be afraid of possible loss.

 

Trust me though dont cave just wait

 

I can see why she is ticked though you move away from her and move out on her.. smooth move.. Just moving out upsets the equiliberum.

 

In any case dont do it you caved once dont cave again

 

Let her play her hand

[mixwell]

you know whats weird though. The days that i didn't call her whatever i wasnt too tempted. But since calling her I find myself wanting to call her more now, like im slipping back into it. BUT NO ! I will not call her. I am going back to NC. I left her a msg and said im returning your call. So its on her now ! Damn now I have to reinstate NC and start from scratch. Yeah moving away seriously F ed everything up !! I regret it big time. Not just because of us even all the bull ish i went through living there. it sucked arse. So for anyone thinking about moving to Arkansas DONT DO IT !!. I actually moved from Cali to there. what was i thinking ?? hahah. Anyways back to NC !

 

I just feel like an a**h*** for moving away and ditching her. but like i said we did hang out and things were ko0 but then this last week and a half shes been avoiding me so i dont im thinking its cuz what i said about that other girl but at least know she knows nothing happened. So if she still avoids me or doesn't believe me I'll know that its something else.. enuff.. i need to stop thinking about it !! ..

 

Hey nan thanks for the music suggestions. I dont really listen to them though. i mainly listen to like planet asia, dilated, cali agents, gangstarr, chino xl.. and some underground punk stuff too. thats what i was into before i got into hip hop. So thank god for music !!

 

HAHA PEACE

[mixwell]

i dont get it. I talk to her and she thought i was being a prick on the voicemail i sent her returning her call. Because I said I dont know why you called but you called. she takes the littlest things the wrong way. also she said how was she being a prick to me this past 1 1/2 weeks that she didn't even talk to me (I did the NC) So whats the deal. She complains about not talking to me but yet she doesn't really call me. Its like she wants me to call. she also got pissed because on xmas when she called i ened the convo short and said I had to go. So is NC working against me ? I think she didn't want to talk before or hang out because all I talked about was us. I said that i realized it wasn't the best thing and that I would be annoyed if she did that too. so maybe she was just being a bitch because all i talked about was us. I dont know. Anyways I asked if she wanted to do something tomorrow and she said maybe so i told her to just call me if she wants to hang out. So its almost seems like the NC thing has kinda worked already even though its been like 5 days of it. I dont know. How could I hint her in that Im not going to call her and to call me if she wants to talk ? Ive told her this before but like i said she was like "i haven't even talked to you in a while so how could I be a prick?" so whats going on here ? She is a touchy person and I think she take the NC as im avoiding her. But i think mainly shes getting mad because shes not getting her little way anymore. So whats goin on ? anyone ?

 

Thanks !

 

I feel like we speak 2 diff languages. I speak English and she speaks alien or something. Geeeezzz.

[strange love]

Im reading your new posts and it reminds of a story. One time my ex flipped out on me, and said dont call me any more etc etc.. Im not talking to you again. I cant quite remember what caused that but I was thinking aw screw it im not going to play games so I got some kind of flower in a pot and wrote her a note, I basically said sorry that im so busy and I really was hoping to see you etc.. etc.

I left it in fron to the door to the house she was at and waited., She called and was very pleasant she asked me did I want to see her, I cant remember whatever else we discussed but... Lets just say she was so impressed that I made some effort towards her (not the flowers) but EFFORT.

In any case she came over and ended up rewarding me for my efforts.

 

So...

The point is sometimes you have to try something a little extra. So dude since you cant seem to leave her alone.. well and she has told you maybe, why dont you get her some flowers and a little note (doesnt have to be alot of flowers or a little teddy bear you can get them at the dollar store) and drop them by her place or work whatever I would do this early in the day. But I guess you have a better handle on when she might find the stuff.

Maybe you could write sorry I didnt call but I have been very busy and I know thats not much of an excuse, and I thought maybe you could use some space. Then add something mushy in like Oh something like wish I could spend some time with you cause your so special.. whatever just think of something not to incredibly mushy but somewhat heartfelt and something that will make her take a few steps back.

[mixwell]

good idea.. but doesnt it sound to you though like she does still want to be together ?? also i forgot to add in there strange that when i was talking to her she was like " So when was the last time you hung out with Diana (my other chick friend) ?" i was like not in a while. and she said what about that other girl? well there is no other girl that i know and shes that I dont have any other chick friends. She just wanted to find out if I was hanging out with other chicks. she kinda knows that im not really that busy though because I dont have a job yet and theres nothin I really do except go to my friends like at 8pm and hang out, then go to the gym like at 11pm and come home at like 4-5 am. Im a night person. Im just going to tell her though if we hang out tomorrow or if she calls that i figured you want your space and I dont want to bother you. Im also going to tell her that she can call me too. It works both ways. Its not like she doesnt have a cell phone or a house phone to use ! haha. But it seems like she wants me to put in all the effort and thats BS man. So the best I can do tomorow is look my best and be as happy as possible and make her realize what shes missing out on. I was thinking about dressing up but I dont know if were going anywhere special. Im still trying to think of were we might go. Somewhere fun though. Not the usual boring places. There is this one place called dave and busters and its cool, you can eat there and drink and they have a bunch of video games and stuff. its more for like younger people in there 20's and what not. So I dont know its fun though.

 

One more quick thing. When i talked to her and said lets hang out she said she had to pay some bills and what not and I said something like call me when yer done and we can hang out if you want to. She said OK, but I took it as ok for sure were hanging out. Then when i was closed to hanging up I said ok so call me when yer done and we'll hang out. and she was like ok maybe. Then i kinda got pist and said what you cant just make a definate choice. She was like i dont have to make it for sure i said maybe. I think she's just rebelling and wants me to know that shes independant and all that. but whatever i didnt really try to mean it like that. but then i was like okay call me if you want to hang out and if not thats cool also. Then she kinda sounded a little sad. I dont know.

 

 

So I have nothing more to say. Ill let you all know what happens tomorrow if we hang out or not.