The hits just keep coming...

[Raena]

Today was another doozy!

 

The stuff with the car went perfectly. He brought the car to me, took the tags off, gave me the keys and the keys to the house and then I drove him home. He showed his place to our son, then we went on our way. The OW wasn't there, he told me yesterday that he sent her packing back to her home state.

 

10 minutes into my drive home, I get a text message from... guess who? Yep... THE OW!!!

 

I have no idea what made her think that it was ok for her to contact me. I have blocked her and gone out of my way to not speak to her. I've known what her number was and have chosen not to speak to her for a reason!

 

At any rate, the text messaging was interesting. She insulted me, told me he never loved my fat ass, told me that they are together now and that I need to leave her man alone, insisted that she is not a whore, nor is she white trash, told me that she completely believes that he and I weren't sleeping together for the past 2 years (so not true), that he is in love with her and hasn't loved me for a long time, that the only reason why she posts on twitter is because she knows I look and that if I stopped looking, she'd stop doing it.

 

Well, I let her have it. I told her that I feel sorry for her because she just has absolutely no idea who he is, what he is capable of and what she has just walked into. I made sure to tell her that yes, he does in fact love me, never stopped loving me (what I didn't tell her is that the word love means nothing to him, he throws it around like candy). that yes we were sleeping together during those two years and that I was well aware of the fact that she knew this. I then made a point of telling her that no, I don't look at her twitter, but several members of his family and some of my friends do and they tell me what she writes. I also pointed out to her that I was at his house today. She told me that was a lie, that he told her that he came and picked up our son, but that I wasn't around. I told her see.. right there... he lied to you. I didn't get around to telling her that he was begging his ex-wife to take him back, but well, I think I already told her too much. I was kind of hoping she'd find this all out on her own because I didn't think she'd listen to me.

 

At any rate, I told my ex that she texted me and that she had apparently written some nasty things about me on twitter and also stated that they are engaged on there again. His sister had texted me that information while I was driving him home. He asked me to send him a copy of it because he said she is always telling him that she never writes anything like that on there. She's was really good at posting stuff and then deleting it before he sees it apparently. (at least in the last two weeks). I called him when I got the first text to find out why he gave her my phone number. He insisted that he didn't, that she must have snooped in his phone.

 

After it was all said and done and I had ended my chat with her, he called me and wanted me to know that he wasn't waiting until after he comes back from his work trip to end things with her, that he had just told her he was done. He said that he told her that if she contacted me, or continued to harass me on twitter that they were through. Enough is enough. Well, she did both, so he says he dumped her.

 

Not long after my conversation with her, she proceeded to delete everything on her twitter account, changed her profile picture on fb and deleted him as a friend.

 

He and I talked a bit more and I told him that all I really want is for him to be a father to our son and he can't do that with her in the picture. I asked him to please, for both of our sakes, make it be done with her, move on, be single for a while and then find somone else who isn't going to disrespect me non-stop.

 

I want to be able to co-parent with him without all this craziness. I know I'm probably living in a fantasy land thinking that could ever happen considering everything that he has done but I hope I'm not.

 

I'd rather not have all this drama going on. It's ridiculous. We are grown-ups, none of this childish crap that has been going on is necessary. We don't have to be together to be respectful of each other and be good parents together.

 

At any rate, it seems to me based on how he was talking to me that he has come out of his "fog" already and realized how badly he is screwing things up. Geez, why couldn't he have figured that out a month ago? Why put me through all this misery?

 

/sigh

 

Ok, not many questions here... more venting and sharing. I actually feel some relief today. I hope that he does follow through on keeping her gone and doing right by his son. As for he and I... we are done, but that doesn't mean I can't be civil to him for the sake of our child.

[lilmisscantbewrong]

She is losing it obviously and it looks like she is losing him as well. What a nut case. You have had your say - I don't think it is wise to take her calls anymore and if she somehow gets through to you, just tell her calmly not to contact you anymore and hang up. If she persists, get the police involved.

 

It is really too bad your husband is just now figuring this out. What an absolute nightmare.

 

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

[Raena]

She is losing it obviously and it looks like she is losing him as well. What a nut case. You have had your say - I don't think it is wise to take her calls anymore and if she somehow gets through to you, just tell her calmly not to contact you anymore and hang up. If she persists, get the police involved.

 

It is really too bad your husband is just now figuring this out. What an absolute nightmare.

 

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

 

Yeah, she only texted me, not call, but I already blocked that number. If she contacts me again, I'll do as you said.

 

It sounds to me like she did herself in really... she spent so much time obsessing about me that it drove him nuts. I had a feeling that would happen.

 

Of course... part of me keeps thinking... he has lied so well so many times, maybe this is all more lies. I don't know. Either way, I hope the drama ends for good.

[Oberfeldwebel]

He needs to understand that the drama is bad for everyone, especially your son. There is no reason why you can't be civil to one another and co-parent your son. Also there are many people in this world, he chose (OW) because she appears to be obsessive and fed his ego. His time with his son, needs to be time WITH his son, not another woman and son tagging along. It is unfortunate that he chose his own selfish desires instead of your marriage.

[wanting more]

I hope you don't believe anything he tells you. It seems every other word out of his mouth is a lie.

 

She Definately seems like she's losing it, but it seems your ex is Stringing her along also

 

I understand he's your sons father, but I think for your own sanity it might be best to stay away from him. Let him be alone (although chances are good he'll show up on her fb page again)

 

I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of this.

[thinkingofhim]

Raena it's starting to seem like you enjoy this drama just as much as they do. How many times have people told you not to engage them, it only fuels their fire, and yet every time they contact you you can't resist getting into a big fight. You're not going to make any progress at ending the drama until you stop participating in it. I'm sorry I know I sound harsh but you need to get a grip and just stop. Stop responding to their abusive messages, I know it's hard not to reply, but you have argued with them how many times now and what good has it done to you or anyone?????

[Raena]

Raena it's starting to seem like you enjoy this drama just as much as they do. How many times have people told you not to engage them, it only fuels their fire, and yet every time they contact you you can't resist getting into a big fight. You're not going to make any progress at ending the drama until you stop participating in it. I'm sorry I know I sound harsh but you need to get a grip and just stop. Stop responding to their abusive messages, I know it's hard not to reply, but you have argued with them how many times now and what good has it done to you or anyone?????

 

I don't enjoy it at all, but yes, this is the first opportunity I've had to actually speak to her since he moved out and she's been blasting me on twitter. I thought on it long and hard before I responded, but you are right. I should have just chosen to block her number and not respond at all. The conversation between he and I regarding the situation was pretty short, it wasn't like it was all dramatic and drawn out, just a couple of things said. The rest of our conversation was actually quite civil.

 

He wasn't abusive to me in his messages... she was and I felt that this was my one and only chance to say what I had to say to her. I said it, and now I'm done with it. She can do with that knowledge what she wants (as in bury her head in the sand and remain convinced that I'm the one lying and he's telling the truth. The absurdity of that is just unreal.)

 

I can say that without a doubt, I did get quite a chuckle out of hearing that he dumped her... but I had the same doubts after the fact that another poster said. He lies so much, whose to say he isn't lying about this too just to try and get things to be cool between he and I.

 

Whatever... like I said... I'm not at all enjoying any of this. I just came here to tell about it and vent. I didn't have any intention of talking to her, I knew nothing good would come of it.

 

I suspect the next few weeks will be very quiet. I sure hope so anyway.

[summerdowling87]

I'm so sorry to hear about your sweet dog.

 

At least you got rid of the real nasty dog in your life your-(pos ex-husband). Don't stoop to the OW's level or his level keep your head up and stay strong you son will see that if you do and respect you for it.

[Raena]

Yay for one drama free day! Yippee!

 

Just as an FYI... I found a decent app for android phones that works to block text messages. I had to go through several crappy ones that didn't work first though. I mean, what's the point in having an app to block texts, if it notifies that you that it blocked the text and then shows them to you? lol

 

This one is dead2me. When the person contacts you it responds with a message that says "You're dead to me. Don't call. Don't text. You are out of my life! ~ sent from my android phone using the Dead2Me application" and nothing shows up... no record that the person texted at all.

[lilmisscantbewrong]

Wow - that is cruel and kind of cool at the same time. I still think silence is best.

[Raena]

Wow - that is cruel and kind of cool at the same time. I still think silence is best.

 

Yeah, it's the only one I found that actually blocked notification of ever receiving a text from whatever number you put in there. Unless anyone knows of another one?

 

My whole point is that I can't respond to what I don't see/get right?

[whatatangledweb]

Try Mr. Numbers. It works great. It just hangs the phone up if you set it up that way. No texts come through.

[Raena]

Try Mr. Numbers. It works great. It just hangs the phone up if you set it up that way. No texts come through.

 

That's the first one I tried... it was the one that notified me and then showed me the texts. It didn't work

[Raena]

So today I'm finally taking some of the advice you all have so kindly given to me on here.

 

I'm going into turtle mode and refusing to discuss anything with him except for anything that involves our son.

 

I figured out today that he lied about dumping her.

 

I also have reason to believe that he trying to set me up. Mostly it is just a gut feeling, but my gut is usually right on the money.

 

So... I refuse to play the game. I'm done. I found out what I needed to know and anything else after this point is just useless information.

 

I wrote him a text message that basically said... just don't talk to me about anything other than our son and no, we can't be friends. It isn't helping me to talk to him at all. He's been texting me pretty regularly for the past 2 days acting all cool with me and chatting about just regular stuff like we are friends. But now that I know he lied AGAIN about her, I just need to cut it off for good. So, I just made it very clear to him that what he told me he was planning to do with her is just disgusting and hurtful.. to her... and to me... and I just don't want to hear about it anymore. I can't stand it.

 

I thought we could be civil to each other and friendly but it's killing me. I can't do it. I don't have any patience whatsoever for this game he is playing. He needs to just leave me alone.

[experiencethedevine]

So today I'm finally taking some of the advice you all have so kindly given to me on here.

 

I'm going into turtle mode and refusing to discuss anything with him except for anything that involves our son.

 

I figured out today that he lied about dumping her.

 

I also have reason to believe that he trying to set me up. Mostly it is just a gut feeling, but my gut is usually right on the money.

 

So... I refuse to play the game. I'm done. I found out what I needed to know and anything else after this point is just useless information.

 

I wrote him a text message that basically said... just don't talk to me about anything other than our son and no, we can't be friends. It isn't helping me to talk to him at all. He's been texting me pretty regularly for the past 2 days acting all cool with me and chatting about just regular stuff like we are friends. But now that I know he lied AGAIN about her, I just need to cut it off for good. So, I just made it very clear to him that what he told me he was planning to do with her is just disgusting and hurtful.. to her... and to me... and I just don't want to hear about it anymore. I can't stand it.

 

I thought we could be civil to each other and friendly but it's killing me. I can't do it. I don't have any patience whatsoever for this game he is playing. He needs to just leave me alone.

 

I'm so sorry this is so difficult for you. Letting go of something

that we know is bad for us (like too much cake) is so hard, but with each turn of the knife by your errant husband and his concubine you allow, it only serves to shrivel your spirit, integrity and dignity more.

 

If you continue to allow these awful individuals to perpetuate your agony, you will be left with a shrivelled memory of the woman you once were.

 

Please treat yourself with more gentleness and respect. Your son will learn from you that rising above such persecution from others maintains the moral high ground while those who perpetrate such vile behaviour are left to slither away while the rest of society turns away in disgust.