2sunny Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 getting closer now. I've picked up a 3rd job after hours which should make me enough to get the apt and continue to support her. going back to the counselor as well to start building the framework to make the change as peaceful as possible. It's heartbreaking but I know it's right. Keeping her down - and without a job so she can support herself is NOT "helping her"! Getting her in a position of being self support would be better! Because she shouldn't need to rely soley on the man who is willing to betray her and rip her world apart. You want to help her? Teach her how she can depend on herself. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lucy_in_disguise Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Totally agree... why do you insist she not work? Sorry if it is something i missed, but your kids are not young anymore, right? It would be much better for her (financially, emotionally, physically) to be her own person after this divorce. NOT having to rely on you. Instead of working 3 jobs, the kindest thing you can do is empower her to gain independence. This means being totally open about your intentions, and working with her through this transition, by helping her find a job, discussing spousal support, and shared parenting arrangements. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brcc Posted February 26, 2014 Author Share Posted February 26, 2014 I agree with your philosophy, but I don't think your suggestions are realistic. She cannot take on a job now. We have 3 kids and getting them to their activities during the day is a full time job. She will need support initially to get there. She's already tried to get one and couldn't keep it with her schedule. I'm not trying to hold her down, I'm trying to lay a framework, give her security, so she can land on her own two feet without having to scramble. Her independence will come in time, after going through the pains of separation. Link to post Share on other sites
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