shyanna13 Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 (edited) My boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago because he said I needed to learn to love myself first, but said he wanted to keep it open incase we would date in the future. I found hope in those words AT FIRST, but then realized it sounded a lot like he was trying to 'let me down easy.' I understand the break up was necessary, because I had been practically ignoring him for the entire week before as I was feeling disconnected, distant, and moody. Since then I've started taking birth control pills with the hope that my hormones will regulate and I'm feeling a bit better but that's probably just all in my head lol I just wanted to share my story and see if anyone could offer any advice. About a week and a half after we broke up, we were both at a mutual friend's public event at a bar. I ended up dancing with a guy and some random girl came over and started practically yelling at me and saying my ex was watching and how could I, etc, etc. So of course I went to try and talk to him and he wouldn't even speak to me. He started acting super cold to me after that and posting rude statuses that I know were about me, and all his friends like the statuses, and deleted me as a friend. ...So I went over to his house a few days ago with a long apology poem that I wrote, with the hopes that we could at least talk about things.. HAH. He told me that what I did was unforgivable, and when he said he wanted to keep the door open he didnt mean for me to 'start acting crazy.' He's acting like I cheated! Yet a mutual friend told me that only days after we broke up he was trying to get laid at a party he threw. He also said the most we could ever be is friends, and then when I got home I saw that he had blocked me on Facebook! Neither of us have a cellphone so now we cannot speak at all. Why did he block me if he wanted to be friends? I'm really confused about all of this... in a way, I guess it's a good thing because I'm forced to try and move on, but I wish he wasn't being so cold. He even posted a video of a bear I made him where when you squeeze it, it says "I love you (name)," in my voice- friends told me about the video. I'm a bit heart broken that he could say he loves me, even after the break up, yet turn around and do this. To add to my appearance of desperation, I messaged his room mate the other day because it was my birthday and I really wanted to see him, but he didn't reply. I want to get my ex a good gift for his birthday next month but I already researched that and everyone says not to.. I just want to show him I still care. Help? Edited October 30, 2013 by shyanna13
reddragon588 Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 You need to go No Contact immediately. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/337989-no-contact-nc-guide-long-walk-consolidated-discussion 1
aybc123 Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 Sounds like an immature douchebag who can dish it out but can't take it. And him saying he wants to leave the door open isn't trying to let you down easy and be nice it's him having a fallback if he didnt find anyone else. Sometimes people actually do try to let people down easily because they dont want to hurt them (contrary to popular opinion on LC) but trust me this is not one of those cases. Seriously you're so much better off without this guy, hurt or not (i dont see how he could rationalise being upset at you considering what you said about him trying to get laid) his actions are pretty unforgivable.
strive Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 I think aybc is right. If HE broke up with YOU, why would he be mad that you're doing what you want? You have no obligations toward him. You're free to do as you please, he gave you that freedom. What I don't understand is why his friends are angry at you. Is he's playing the victim card? Just don't pursue him anymore. He set you free so you can 'learn to love yourself' so don't let him put you back inside the cage. Please go NC.
Author shyanna13 Posted October 30, 2013 Author Posted October 30, 2013 I understand everything said and thank everyone for their replies. I won't reach out to him again, but what do I do if/when he starts talking to me again? I love him and I do want to be with him even though he's been absurd to me, maybe that will change in a few months, who knows. He said he loved me days after we broke up, and even told our mutual friends that he still wanted to be with me, but his actions as of recent speak otherwise. Why would he say that at all if he wasn't obligated anymore because we broke up?
xUnknown Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 I will admit, I would be pissed if my gf were to go dance with some other guy in front of me. That's a slap in the face and shows you don't care. I too probably would have given you the silent treatment...but if i loved you, i would forgive you. It seems he was just looking for an out and you gave it to him.
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