Amelie1980 Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 Going ok one minute...nice dates making plans, talking by text, nice messages, etc Literally the next day after a nice message....poof, gone....then a few days later they're not up for dating. Does it happen a lot? How often do they come back after vanishing?
Mascara Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 lol... happens alllll the time. You go on a date, they're way into you? Excited texts and messages afterwards? Making plans for future dates? Then a complete 180 and they've either vanished or "I'm just not that into you". Online dating is like climbing to the highest diving board. Most people climb up that ladder, fully intending to jump off. Pumped up, prepared, ready, looking forward to it. Then they get to the top, peer over the edge... and step away. Back down the ladder they go, mumbling excuses. 3
deathandtaxes Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 It happens because there are way too many unassertive people in the world. They think it's better to just disappear and fade rather than tell the truth. That truth may be they're just not into you, they're dating others, etc. It's sad really.
tlegend Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 lol... happens alllll the time. You go on a date, they're way into you? Excited texts and messages afterwards? Making plans for future dates? Then a complete 180 and they've either vanished or "I'm just not that into you". Online dating is like climbing to the highest diving board. Most people climb up that ladder, fully intending to jump off. Pumped up, prepared, ready, looking forward to it. Then they get to the top, peer over the edge... and step away. Back down the ladder they go, mumbling excuses. Sounds like OLD is as stupid as everyone says it is.
Author Amelie1980 Posted October 24, 2013 Author Posted October 24, 2013 lol... happens alllll the time. You go on a date, they're way into you? Excited texts and messages afterwards? Making plans for future dates? Then a complete 180 and they've either vanished or "I'm just not that into you". Online dating is like climbing to the highest diving board. Most people climb up that ladder, fully intending to jump off. Pumped up, prepared, ready, looking forward to it. Then they get to the top, peer over the edge... and step away. Back down the ladder they go, mumbling excuses. You mean they think they want it until the reality hits them?
Mascara Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 Yes, I don't think many people actually go into it thinking "I'll pretend to be really excited for 3 weeks and then disappear". Either someone else has come along, or the scenario I describe above. For a lot of people who just aren't ready to meet someone, putting up a OLD profile is a very passive way of saying "I'm doing something about my single status". And they're happy to chat, email, text. As soon as it becomes too real though, they back off again, to the safety of their profile and the next target.
Keenly Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 The difference in experiences and problems between men and women using OLD are so different, almost polar opposites of each other. Its fascinating. 1
Author Amelie1980 Posted October 24, 2013 Author Posted October 24, 2013 Yes, I don't think many people actually go into it thinking "I'll pretend to be really excited for 3 weeks and then disappear". Either someone else has come along, or the scenario I describe above. For a lot of people who just aren't ready to meet someone, putting up a OLD profile is a very passive way of saying "I'm doing something about my single status". And they're happy to chat, email, text. As soon as it becomes too real though, they back off again, to the safety of their profile and the next target. Do any of them come back?
Mascara Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 As a rule, no. Sometimes, a year or so down the line, you might get a breadcrumb of a text when they're working their way down their little black book of names. Usually means they're either horny or just been dumped. But even that's pretty rare. Move on. 1
Author Amelie1980 Posted October 24, 2013 Author Posted October 24, 2013 As a rule, no. Sometimes, a year or so down the line, you might get a breadcrumb of a text when they're working their way down their little black book of names. Usually means they're either horny or just been dumped. But even that's pretty rare. Move on. He was 3 months out of a four year relationship when we met. it was very dysfunctional and.they had already broken up twice before. He.was in hell.at work too and.said he wasn't in the right frame of mind for it.
Zahara Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 He was 3 months out of a four year relationship when we met. it was very dysfunctional and.they had already broken up twice before. He.was in hell.at work too and.said he wasn't in the right frame of mind for it. Sounds emotionally unavailable after going through a dysfunctional relationship like that. He's probably not even over the break-up.
Author Amelie1980 Posted October 24, 2013 Author Posted October 24, 2013 Sounds emotionally unavailable after going through a dysfunctional relationship like that. He's probably not even over the break-up. I thought that. His ex gf was 8 years older than him and clinically depressed. He seemed almost afraid to go for it with me. I hope once he sorts himself out he will remember me.
Zahara Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 I read an article about OLD and how it's a place filled with emotionally damaged people. I'm not sure how much of that is true but I've met more bad than good. The married cheaters, the players, the emotionally scarred, the rebounders, etc. All circling the watering hole to find something. It's work to dig through and find a good seed with good intent.
Author Amelie1980 Posted October 24, 2013 Author Posted October 24, 2013 Check this out.....Lol http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/434346-oh-timing
Divasu Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 Check this out.....Lol http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/434346-oh-timing Maybe it's him!
Author Amelie1980 Posted October 24, 2013 Author Posted October 24, 2013 Maybe it's him! LOL !! No it isn't him because he hasn't come back to contact me.
deathandtaxes Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 I read an article about OLD and how it's a place filled with emotionally damaged people. I'm not sure how much of that is true but I've met more bad than good. The married cheaters, the players, the emotionally scarred, the rebounders, etc. All circling the watering hole to find something. It's work to dig through and find a good seed with good intent. I think at a certain age we all have our share of emotional damage. I wouldn't say it's unique to people on OLD. 1
laylay305 Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 i've had a lot of the same experience. there are some good seeds out there, though. and as far as returning goes, i actually had a guy i met online and dated last fall text me a few weeks ago. it was totally random and unexpected.
gaius Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 After I break up with someone I'll sometimes start an OLD profile just to test the waters per se. See if the conversation skills are still up to par. See if my recent pictures are good enough or if I need to take it up a notch to get what I want. Maybe just to get a little ego boost from women showing sexual interest too. Even though I don't have much intention of seriously dating anyone. It can be hard to summon sexual interest in a girl after shes put up with your disrespect so I doubt you'll hear back much from them again as the women here have said. At least with serious interest. Maybe if they need another ego boost.
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