Amelie1980 Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 How true is it that exes always come back and make contact at some point? Even in very short term relationships? Virtually all of my exes have in some shape or form. Stories?
aybc123 Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Dunno, I hope so though if only to say goodbye properly. I don't want to leave things how they've been left.
bedelgeuse Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Hi, I've been through a relationship where my ex and I separated after she had an affair, after moving out of state and going NC, she came back around months later to reconcile. Since I never filed for divorce, we met back up to test the waters then decided to get back together. I moved back in with her a couple months later. Things were ok with me because I truly forgave her. Unfortunately she never forgave herself and within a year was cheating on me again and asked for a divorce. Now I'm 3 days NC with my more recent relationship post marriage. She broke up with me 3 days ago and I've been strict NC since. If you want to read my story is here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/434045-ldr-bu-gigs-nc-oh-my Will my current ex girlfriend come back? Based on my past experience, NC did cause my ex wife to contact me again after some time (months for me). I think at some point she will come back, but this time around I'm in a better frame of mind to deal with it when it happens.
rossi128 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 I was only in my second relationship and she's now with someone else, so I don't have past experience to go on. I don't expect her to make contact while she's with him, if at all. Her last text to me ended "don't contact me again" so definitely nothing coming from my end. I'm intrigued if she will for me but I ain't waiting around to find out and i'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Everyone is different. There are no guarantees in life. I never contacted my first two ladies I was in a relationship with. They are both married and have kids. I have absolutly no plans to contact them. No hatred, just real.
flitzanu Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 How true is it that exes always come back and make contact at some point? Even in very short term relationships? Virtually all of my exes have in some shape or form. Stories? no it isn't true. a few of mine have disappeared for good, some have come around and become friends.
barky2 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 There is no definite rule...such a open ended question Every single girl I've dated either it be a month or years have come back...in one way or another. One was 12 years later lol I'm sure every members answer would be different. Don't take any false hope in anyone's specific answer. Barky
crazybestie101 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 I never contacted my first two ladies I was in a relationship with. They are both married and have kids. I have absolutly no plans to contact them. No hatred, just real. obviously, they are MARRIED! my ex before this current ex , he is getting married.. he recently unblocked me from everywhere. our relationship ended last december. I went NC after that , he tried to reach out to me after 3 months but i was already moved on and was with new guy. Even now when i was just dumped by current guy. I am still not planning to contact last ex. Not worth it. It just depends what you want. I might answer if my current ex reach out to me because i shared special bonding that i never had with any one. But also if he wants come back , it has be proper and very sincere.
Ordinaryday Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 they definitely don't always come back. I have been dumped about 6 times and it was completely fifty-fifty - three came back, albeit just with breadcrumbs, and three I never ever heard from again. it can go either way, but don't plan your life around waiting for them to come back because it may never happen.
Helloprincess Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Mine "came back" after 4 months of silence. Decided to ignore. They might come back but for different reasons, for an ego boost, because they miss you, theyre bored, or the want to come back. I think if they really really want to come back, they will move mountains and do anything to get you. Its important to think about what you really want. Do you want him/her to come back? Why? Would it be the same? Would you trust?
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 obviously, they are MARRIED! my ex before this current ex , he is getting married.. he recently unblocked me from everywhere. our relationship ended last december. I went NC after that , he tried to reach out to me after 3 months but i was already moved on and was with new guy. Even now when i was just dumped by current guy. I am still not planning to contact last ex. Not worth it. It just depends what you want. I might answer if my current ex reach out to me because i shared special bonding that i never had with any one. But also if he wants come back , it has be proper and very sincere. They married about six years after I dated them. Then kids a year after that....therefore they had seven years to do so and still didnt lol. Didnt matter because I wasnt going to contact them anyways.
Sugarkane Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 I dont really get the whole "they always come back thing". My ex did a 180 that brought me here and has never contacted me. And you can see how long ago I joined here. I'm sure he thought I would break NC first, but I never did. I'm sure it would be nothing but BS anyway and him trying to hurt me.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 I dont really get the whole "they always come back thing". My ex did a 180 that brought me here and has never contacted me. And you can see how long ago I joined here. I'm sure he thought I would break NC first, but I never did. I'm sure it would be nothing but BS anyway and him trying to hurt me. Well, the adage is "they always come back" but it never really says when. Some can come back after five years, ten years, 40 years, or never. Personally, I'd rather go never. I've worked my ass off from moving forward from this, and I'll be damned if they try and mess that up.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Most of them do, but it's not 100 percent. I've had two exes that haven't really come back -- one in college who I had a horrible break with due to my clingy/neediness and her cheating (after which I stopped being clingy and just dropped it) and my most recent one, who I've talked to since it happened several times, but mostly initiated by me. So I would consider her not really "coming back" per se. Either way, the ones that have have all been at least a year after last contact, if not several. 2
ColdAlone Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 For me, yes most (88%) come back unless I did something horrible... untill I won't let them anymore. Wich is usually the point where I have someone else.
crazybestie101 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 For me, yes most (88%) come back unless I did something horrible... untill I won't let them anymore. Wich is usually the point where I have someone else. 88 % ?? What a measurement! LOL 1
aybc123 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 (edited) Probably makes sense to think about it from another point of view, how many people who you have broken up with would/ did you go back to? Personally I have broken up with 3 girls, 2 of whom i was with for around 3 months, didnt feel it and just wanted out by the end. Things are ok with both of them, I didnt ignore them or treat them like an ass and give false hope. I wouldnt ever go back because there's no reason to, no unresolved feelings, i never had a connection with them, i never really got to know them that well and i certainly dont know them now. I would say hi if we bumped into each other on the street and would reply politely if one of them contacted me but otherwise I have no desire to speak to them (anymore than i do to any other stranger/ old acquaintance) The third girl i was with for a year, I did love her, it just didnt work out. I did want to reconnect with her, I cared about her and wanted to stay in touch and know how she was doing. She would have had to have done some pretty extreme stuff for me to not try to contact her in the future at some point. Not that I wanted to get back together with her, i think thats the mistake dumpees make, a dumper trying to reconnect is probably pretty rarely trying to get you back, they may be single or in a healthy relationship, chances are they just want to be friends with someone they care about and have a shared history with. Exes are human too. They probably also wont try that hard, to keep going. If you choose not to reply to what you see as breadcrumbs after 3-6 months then chances are they probably will never try again (I wouldn't). So be careful. Both of the girls who broke up with me did come back to be friends in the end. Just got dumped by the third who i was with for the longest of all and loved the most, but shes currently ignoring me and im not really sure why, so i dont know if she will ever come back/ we will ever speak again at the moment. I really hope so though. Edited October 21, 2013 by aybc123
Janni Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 My experience is that my exes always came back. Even ex-friends came back. (Though not girl friends. They have been way too stubborn) But I, personally, wouldn't come back in most cases, as I always told myself I was better off and they'd be sorry. So as others have said, it depends. People don't always come back.
h0000 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 by coming back do you mean they want to be together again?? first bf..we broke up on mutual terms. he didnt come back. we are friends but we dont really contact each other much at all. second one i dumped him and i didnt want to go back. third one we broke up 3 times and he came back twice and this time he dumped me and hasnt come back yet.
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