Try Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Slightly off-topic, but isn't boudoir photography a legit profession? My ex did a shoot as a gift for me using a Groupon. She is an amateur photographer and ended up volunteering some of her free time helping them out. Even without offering the Groupon deal, they had great business, and with it, they were booked all day, night and weekends. First, the OP's husband is doing this for free and not for money. If you do not make money at something, and have little chance of ever doing so, then it is a hobby and not a profession. Second, what is your definition of "legit profession"? Some in the porn industry make lots of money doing porn, but many would question calling it legit. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Nude/boudoir is a big genre for photographers as I am a model myself. Most photographers do shoot nudes if they shoot models. Is the model paying him for the services or is he using them for his portfolio? I've often wondered how photosgraphers's wives handle it. Most photographers don't think of it as nudity, but rather as a form of art. Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 I guess you MISSED the part in her original post where his supposed "dream" was to become a photographer for weddings and portraits and such? It didn't start OUT as this nonsense he's been getting down to, so her 'insecurities' shouldn't be in question. He switched the game midway is what he did. I recently worked with a photographer who made this claim. Apparently when he does shoot nudes or lingerie, it's for the model's portfolio. However, I never got my images from that guy, so I'm not sure what to believe. Link to post Share on other sites
TiredFamilyGuy Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Let me see, "ex-cheater sets up non-profit "business" with cheater buddy to take pictures of naked young women." Nope, really can't see what you're worried about here. What's there not to like? After all it's not like you want him around helping with the 4 kids instead of taking snaps of hotties is it? It's not like men get off on visual stimuli of females primary and secondary sexual characteristics is it? - if that was the case there would be a porn industry. In short, you are not wrong to feel uncomfortable. Tell him ""Weddings and babies fine. Nude girls not fine. Clear? Tell her he can photo them in your front room at home if he must. He will whine. My wife draws. If she started a business that made no money drawing what turned out to be nude guys instead of the trees and flowers she told me she was most interested in ... I would smell the bull****. This line is yours to draw and I think you might be foolish not to draw it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 I actually did something quite similar to this last night and to my astonishment he agreed. He finally admitted that he felt he'd wronged me and wanted to make it right. He said he would stop doing any shoots that weren't clothed and I could be there as an assistant to make me feel better. Okay, that's a start... However, if I were you I would proceed with caution. Did his sleazy friend agree to no more topless shoots and to you hanging around? After all, if he is the one putting up the money (and has no wife to answer to) then I guarantee he'll have some feelings about your husband's sudden change of heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Nude/boudoir is a big genre for photographers as I am a model myself. Most photographers do shoot nudes if they shoot models. Is the model paying him for the services or is he using them for his portfolio? I've often wondered how photosgraphers's wives handle it. Most photographers don't think of it as nudity, but rather as a form of art. Yes, but given the OP's husband's history of cheating (and his sleazy business partner's), it stands to reason that they may be thinking about these shoots as something other then just "art." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Nude/boudoir is a big genre for photographers as I am a model myself. Most photographers do shoot nudes if they shoot models. Is the model paying him for the services or is he using them for his portfolio? I've often wondered how photosgraphers's wives handle it. Most photographers don't think of it as nudity, but rather as a form of art. I recently worked with a photographer who made this claim. Apparently when he does shoot nudes or lingerie, it's for the model's portfolio. However, I never got my images from that guy, so I'm not sure what to believe. With all due respect, reading your first post on the subject, followed immediately by your second post, makes me think that you are one of the naive hotties that have fallen for the same lines that the OP's husband and his cheating friend are using to see attractive women with their cloth off. Your closing line "I never got my images from that guy, so I'm not sure what to believe" pretty much confirmed this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 If he's interested in doing fashion shots for the young women in hopes that they will get jobs as models I must say these are the wrong shots to take. He should be taking pictures of them in fashionable clothes not boudoir fashion. I have a hard time believing he doesn't get turned on a little by young womens bare breasts in his face. He needs to define what type of photography he wants to do and stick with it. I can't blame you for feeling insecure. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 I actually did something quite similar to this last night and to my astonishment he agreed. He finally admitted that he felt he'd wronged me and wanted to make it right. He said he would stop doing any shoots that weren't clothed and I could be there as an assistant to make me feel better. How does he find time for the 2nd job/interest/dream pursuit and you to babysit him when you have 4 kids? When my 4 kids were all young and at home, my wife and I fell in bed exhausted the moment the last one went to sleep ... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 It is OK to feel insecure when you have good reason to feel insecure. Your husband is a proven serial cheater that is using a non-money making site to get young women to do soft porn for him. There is a big difference between looking at porn on the web, and seeing it up close and in person, where as the photographer he actually get to stare at and control the subjects, such that the subject does poses that he finds sexy. Today it is topless, but if you allow this, what is to stop him from using this site to eventually get women to let him take full nude shots in the name of pursing his dream as a photographer? The truth be told, there is almost zero chance that he will make any money on this site, or that he will enhance his career in any way with it. If he truly wants to enhance his photography career, his time would be much better spent pursing and drumming up real business, then it is pursuing young women for this site. I have a family member that has made a successful living for many years as a full time photographer, and he would not waste his time on such a project, as he needs to focus his time doing things as a photographer that pay his bills. Of course his wife of many years once made a six digit annual income as a model and actress, so she would not have stood for him trying to pull what your husband is pulling, because she knows the business. When she was young, many amateur and professional photographers tried to use photography as a way to try to get into her pants; she did not buy their false ploys and neither should you buy your husband's. As his wife, you have a right to be an equal partner in setting martial boundaries that you both discuss and mutably agree on. In setting these mutually agreed upon boundaries, the feelings of both parties matter, not just one. For instance, you do not have to agree to allowing him to become a part of the online porn industry, if that is not a lifestyle that you agree with or want to become a part of, even if this were really a way for him to make money. I think this bears repeating. Many years ago my husband - working in film and photography- tried a similar venture. I tolerated it for a few weeks and sometimes showed up at a shoot. I also worked as a grip. I finally said something gad to give. I told him to take his complete portfolio and start looking Dr or work with legitimate companies. It was tough at first but he eventually got steady work. None of the rather sleazy females he photographed or filmed on his own were ever 'discovered'. I knew hubby wouldn't cheat but the atmosphere at home was not pleasant. Oh hubby told me that a few years before we met he had a photo job for someone who flew him to San Antonio for a day to photograph his models. He paid for the job WITH one of his, uh "modles" this all followed the new-couples convo "so. Have you ever been with a pro?" LOL. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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