Im so disorganized! Im late.. missing classes .. not motivated im scared & need help

[She's Come Undone]

Emily,

 

I'm 31 and still trying to find the answers. The most popular diagnosis has been bipolar, which is often confused with ADHD. I am going to a Psychiatrist in Jan, I've been seeing a Therapist so far. I believe my father had some mental illness, and I also had a traumatic childhood, which caused my issues who knows.

 

I too wake up completely exhausted, it's a struggle to get out of bed every morning, no matter how many hours I sleep. I often feel like I dream all night long and remember all of them. I often work through a haze in my eyes, and driving almost puts me to sleep. School was usually pretty difficult because I had little or no effort. I can have effort only in high pressure situations. I am often bored. I start things and never finish. I am easily distracted, often doing five things at the same time. And as far as boredom being an excuse, that may be part of the cause, but I love to draw and even that can't hold my attention for too long!

 

I have taken/am taking meds for both bipolar and ADD, and nothing has worked to any noticeable degree. Now I hear that there is actually no scientific proof that brain chemical imbalances have anything to do with depression, etc. I am truly at a loss, and getting more desperate, hence more depressed trying to find out what it feels like to really be awake and productive and energetic!

 

Maybe I'll have some answers for you after Jan 10. In the mean time just hang in there! Do the best you can, and try to explain to family that you feel like something is wrong, you're not choosing to be like this.

[Lil Honey]

Originally posted by Emily55555

Nice about the ADHD thing but does anyone actually have some advice that could help me? As in things I could do like to make things easier in the morning. What do people who dont have this problem do?

 

Aside from what I already suggested . . .

 

Get your school clothes ready the night before, so that you don't have to look for them in the morning.

 

If you spend a lot of time on your hair, get it cut in an easy-to-care-for style.

 

Find ways to save time. There are things in life that should be priorities and things that aren't. For example, if you are a person who likes long, elegant fingernails, you have to decide if they are really all that important at this time in your life. Do you really have time to file, polish and get them "done"? (It's the same concept as I mentioned about the TV. You need to choose between school work and TV. After you've made that decision, you can spend time on the thing that is more important to you.)

 

Is there a schedule crunch in the morning with other family members, especially for the use of the bathroom? Could one person get up 1/2 an hour early to shower? Does someone put on makeup or do hair in the bathroom that could be done in the bedroom, making bathroom time for someone else?

[She's Come Undone]

Getting your clothes ready the night before is a MAJOR time saver...just wish I had teh motivation to do it every night.

[Elmo]

Okay...here are some helpful hints for your situation.

 

Yes, put your clean gym clothes in your bag the night before.

 

Get an organizer book, with telephone numbers, important addresses, etc. and carry it ALL THE TIME. Fill in even silly things like "when to call Jenny", "hair apt.", "excercise"....

 

If there is ONE thing you hate....find the solution and do it 15 days in a row. For example...you are late every morning because you have to run around to find clean gym clothes. For 15 days, put clean gym clothes in your bag before 8:00pm the night before. It takes 15 days to make or break a habit.

 

I know some people blame a disorder for this stuff. They say, well sure if I COULD get motivated I WOULD.

 

That ain't a disorder, it is a lack of motivation.

 

EVERYONE HAS THIS DISORDER! Look at it as a challenge, not a disorder. The world would collapse if everyone gave into thier lack of motivation.

 

I was motivated to write to you. You were motivated, enough, to ask for help.

 

It just takes a realization of what matters.

 

I don't think you like gym. (I didn't either.)

 

So, you create a chaos that removes you from it. Plus, you get to blame your Mom for not being patient, the other gross kids whom you do not relate to...and maybe...a brain disorder.

 

Don't be a victim. I know you already said you don't have ADD. Good. You don't sound like you are in "victim" mode.

 

If you really want to change some of your behaviors, do it in small steps. Like the 15 day plan above, in regards to being ready for that gross class in the morning.

 

Good luck. I know it's not easy.

[moimeme]

Elmo

 

Some people do have disorders. Others may just be disorganized. It doesn't help the ones with actual disorders to deny they exist. The trick is figuring out what is up.

 

Emily try Flylady.net

 

Now I hear that there is actually no scientific proof that brain chemical imbalances have anything to do with depression, etc

 

What????? Where on earth did you hear that???

[johan]

I once dated a girl who couldn't even finish eating a piece of fruit or drinking a cup of coffee. There were half eaten bananas and apples and half full (yes I'm an optimist) cups of coffee everywhere. I couldn't understand it. And she was SOO late for everything. 2 hours late to meet me for my company Christmas party. I helped her move into her apartment and she would put stuff down directly after she got into her door and move on to something else. Then I'd come in behind her carrying something heavy and have to step over it or trip over it. Pissed, I was. That one needed medication.

 

One thing I wonder is whether this level of disorganization is cyclical. Are there ever periods of time when you take control and get things done the way you think you should? If there are, then I'd say maybe this all just indicates that you don't really care that much. That's not a sin, but you have to face the consequences if you let things get bad enough to foul up your future. At school, for instance.

 

I would recommend getting enough sleep as a first step. If you are waiting until the last possible minute to wake up and then you're late and rushing and tired for the rest of the day, then you need to get to bed at least a couple hours earlier. And regardless of what time you went to bed, force yourself to get up early enough so that you can calmly prepare for your day.

 

Next, I would recommend eating right. Try to eat turkey, blueberries, walnuts, broccoli, oranges, and oatmeal every day. There are several more super-foods I can't remember right now. Find out what they are.

 

Fatigue and bad nutrition can take away your motivation and discipline.

 

And try some of the other organizational things other people are recommending.

 

I wouldn't leap to the ADD thing until you've made a whole-hearted effort to find some other solutions. If it's bothering you as much as you said, then I expect you will. If you can't gain control that way, then maybe you can start considering a professional diagnosis.

 

Or you can save time and money if you just ask Moimeme. She's from Canada, and those Canadians can make a lot of money shipping pills down this way. She doesn't fool me.

[moimeme]

She's from Canada, and those Canadians can make a lot of money shipping pills down this way. She doesn't fool me.

 

[guest]

Why is it any time someone has a problem of any kind and decides to talk about it people like moimeme are always ready to say it's some kind of mental disorder? I think maybe SHE has a mental disorder from reading here posts to people here. Is there a medical diagnosis for people who are rude and arrogant?

[Lil Honey]

Guest:

 

I haven't been posting here very long. I haven't read all the posts, nor have I been able to get to know the other posters, so please don't take what I'm going to say as "taking sides" or anything similar.

 

I just want to say that I haven't read any (or so few that I don't remember them) arrogant posts. Now, I'm not saying that they don't exist. I'm just saying that I haven't read any.

 

However, if you want to see arrogant and rude, I can point you to a similar forum where the people ARE arrogant and rude . . .

 

Now, to answer your question . . . she may have pointed the original poster to the possibility of ADD or ADHD because she has some sort of experience or knowledge of the condition.

 

I am of the thinking that if a person has attention DEFICIT, they probably need more attention and that they don't NECESSARILY need meds. BUT, I have NO medical background. I have seen it with my nephew. He was diagnosed, but his parents chose not to give him meds, but more attention with schoolwork both at home and at school. He is on the honor roll . . .

 

lil honey

[moimeme]

Why is it any time someone has a problem of any kind and decides to talk about it people like moimeme are always ready to say it's some kind of mental disorder?

 

Your observation is a gross exaggeration. I do not 'always' say it is a mental disorder. However there are a whackload of people walking around trying to manage their lives not knowing they do have disorders. Four per cent of all adults have AD/HD. That's four out of every hundred people who walk down the street past you. And out of 16,000 LS members, there will definitely be some with AD/HD and some with depression and some with any number of other ailments. And they will fare much better in life if they get diagnosed and treated than they will being told off by know-it-alls who have decided, based on their 'opinion' rather than on science and fact and proof, that these disorders don't exist.

[tiki]

Moi, do you think that since mine said I may have ADD/ADHD that I should tell my doctor about it? What should I do?

[Thinkalot]

tiki, i may also have it too.

 

I think i'll mention it to my psych, next time I am there, fixing my other issues...lol.

 

Do any of the symptoms disrupt your life? I guess if not, it's not something you need to be concerned about. Many of us have some of the symptoms. If so, then maybe you should mention it.

[moimeme]

Moi, do you think that since mine said I may have ADD/ADHD that I should tell my doctor about it? What should I do?

 

Thinkalot's got it right. If you are managing your life fine even despite the symptoms, then it's nothing to worry about. What makes these things disorders is that they do disrupt your life significantly. People can have ADD and function quite well - they may not have a very bad case or else they have figured out coping strategies and use them successfully.

 

But if the AD/HD is causing you to lose jobs and relationships and suffer other consequences, then you'd want to ask to speak to a physician skilled in treating AD/HD. You could also go to Dr. Amen's site. He offers tips and strategies and he's written some pretty good books about different things you can try to help yourself. If you can't get the symptoms under control with those strategies, then meds might be needed, but again, only if your life is impacted negatively because of the symptoms.

[tiki]

But I'm assuming there's no surefire way to tell I've got it by testing? Or is there?

[moimeme]

There isn't one test, however a good doctor will do what's called a 'differential diagnosis'. Here's the AAFP guideline on how to do the diagnosis:

 

Adult ADHD: Evaluation and Treatment in Family Medicine

http://www.aafp.org/afp/20001101/2077.html