Jiminy Cricket Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 so i was having a talk with one of my friends, i told him about all the drama we been having this post breakup, how my ex has been acting, and he told me that maybe she might be testing me. i told him that my ex knows how much i care for her, but she thinks i don't care anymore and i'm only thinking about myself. says i'm inconsistent with my actions and words. like for example i use to beg her to come back, express my love for her, but now i'm giving her the cold shoulder. he gave me some advice that times she maybe be testing me to see if i stand by my word. to see if i hold to my values. he realizes that she can't take what i say at face value, and she wants me to prove my love. he said the whole jacket fiasco was to see how i would react, because he knows how stupid it was to ask for a gift back. this kinda makes sense to me because my ex was always saying "prove me wrong." after the break up. like when i was talking to another girl a couple of months ago, my ex got hurt and said "i was trying to appreciate who you are, but now i know you're shady, f*ck you!" i'm thinking she was testing me, but what are your guys thoughts on this? Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie007 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 To put in bluntly my thoughts are you are delusional and in denial. Until that stops nothing will change. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Why does your ex care if you're talking to another girl after SHE broke up with you? Why do you care that she cares? Everything you say about this chick, she sounds nuts Jimmy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted October 2, 2013 Author Share Posted October 2, 2013 Why does your ex care if you're talking to another girl after SHE broke up with you? Why do you care that she cares? Everything you say about this chick, she sounds nuts Jimmy. that's the thing, why does she even care if i'm talking to another girl?! when she found out, she was hurt and said i have no loyalty towards her. she's extremely jealous, even months after the breakup, if i liked a hot girls picture on instagram, she still would get upset. Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 that's the thing, why does she even care if i'm talking to another girl?! when she found out, she was hurt and said i have no loyalty towards her. she's extremely jealous, even months after the breakup, if i liked a hot girls picture on instagram, she still would get upset. This chick is nuts dude. She expects you to "be loyal to her"... After she dumped you? Put her in your rear view mirror and don't look back... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 I would strongly consider keeping NC until you have resolved your feelings for her. Simply because, I think when you have taken the time to allow your rational brain to reassert itself, you would find that you would not want a woman who would speak to you like that. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted October 2, 2013 Author Share Posted October 2, 2013 To put in bluntly my thoughts are you are delusional and in denial. Until that stops nothing will change. thats cold, i was just explaining what my friend told me, i wanted to know if ppl agreed to what he said. Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Cake-eater. She doesn't want you and doesn't want you to be happy with someone else. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted October 2, 2013 Author Share Posted October 2, 2013 Cake-eater. She doesn't want you and doesn't want you to be happy with someone else. Mighty Ducks, one our generations greatest films. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie007 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Thats the thing, why do you care if she cares? If you have no loyality toward her than block all contact with her, text, enmail, socail media etc...... if she cant contact you she cant hurt you and make you ask these questions about her motives. Please man for the love of Jesus let this one go. I'm in more pain over your break up than I am of mine! I dont see how you can keep letting this happen, man up and just walk away. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie007 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 thats cold, i was just explaining what my friend told me, i wanted to know if ppl agreed to what he said. It is cold, but go back and look at all the threads you've started in the past month. Even though this girl has been horrible to you, you keep looking for reasons to validate her actions. That is delusional my friend. I dont like being cold to anyone, I know youre hurting like the rest of us, i just hate to see you prolong it any further. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted October 2, 2013 Author Share Posted October 2, 2013 It is cold, but go back and look at all the threads you've started in the past month. Even though this girl has been horrible to you, you keep looking for reasons to validate her actions. That is delusional my friend. I dont like being cold to anyone, I know youre hurting like the rest of us, i just hate to see you prolong it any further. you know that song "Pullin' Me Back - Chingy & Tyrese" well, its kinda like that for me. hard to explain why i want her back, but i do in a way. this whole thing is getting prolonged, because no matter how i try to walk away, my friends tell me something about her, or she contacts me. it's really f*cking with my head. Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Tell your friends to stop telling you about her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 ^^ Exactly. Get this chick out of sight and she will also become out of mind. If your friends can't figure this out or don't want to/can't manage that, stay away from them too. You've got to put yourself first in this situation. Take care of you, because no one else is going to... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted October 2, 2013 Author Share Posted October 2, 2013 this thread is getting off the topic of her testing me, but doesn't anyone have any thoughts on the subject?? lol. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Good lord.... Dude, how many times/how long are you going to do this? You try to find EVERY little snake hole to crawl though like its some magic way to get your ex back. All you are doing is just making yourself more miserable here. Life is WAY too short to be sitting here trying to find ways to squirm your way into something that wont happen. Your friend isnt helping and defiantly has NO clue what he is talking about. There is no "testing." There is no "proving love." There is NOTHING there other than her own insecurities of wanting to be farther ahead than you in this entire process. Winning the breakup. THAT DOESNT MEAN SHE WANTS TO GET BACK WITH YOU. Mntbiker said it best: She doesn't want you and doesnt want you to be happy either. That is 1000% true. I don't know how many times 100 people can tell you something and you keep ignoring it. And for the love of christ, stop listening to crap like Chingy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 "prove me wrong" after a break up? You don't have to prove sh*t! She's the one that ended everything not you. She's the one that needs to prove to you that leaving wasn't the right choice for herself. The days of girls wanting to be chased by guys are long gone. Welcome to the 21st century. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted October 2, 2013 Author Share Posted October 2, 2013 Good lord.... Dude, how many times/how long are you going to do this? You try to find EVERY little snake hole to crawl though like its some magic way to get your ex back. All you are doing is just making yourself more miserable here. Life is WAY too short to be sitting here trying to find ways to squirm your way into something that wont happen. Your friend isnt helping and defiantly has NO clue what he is talking about. There is no "testing." There is no "proving love." There is NOTHING there other than her own insecurities of wanting to be farther ahead than you in this entire process. Winning the breakup. THAT DOESNT MEAN SHE WANTS TO GET BACK WITH YOU. Mntbiker said it best: She doesn't want you and doesnt want you to be happy either. That is 1000% true. I don't know how many times 100 people can tell you something and you keep ignoring it. And for the love of christ, stop listening to crap like Chingy. lol, Chingy was something i listened to back in high school, i'm just using the song as an example. it's like ppl in my life are telling me to win her back, fight for love, yet everyone on here says a different story. they know my ex personally, and are disappointed we broke up, because we use to be so good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted October 2, 2013 Author Share Posted October 2, 2013 "prove me wrong" after a break up? You don't have to prove sh*t! She's the one that ended everything not you. She's the one that needs to prove to you that leaving wasn't the right choice for herself. The days of girls wanting to be chased by guys are long gone. Welcome to the 21st century. like i said in a previous thread, days after my ex broke up with me and we went our separate ways, she called me up and was disappointed i wasn't giving her attention and that was the time to win her back. Link to post Share on other sites
chinacat sunflower Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 To put in bluntly my thoughts are you are delusional and in denial. Until that stops nothing will change. Okay so I haven't read what anyone else's input was but.... What Eddie said, it right, kind of...I just wouldn't have worded it like that. You need to take a step back and remove yourself from the situation completely. For a long time. I'm talking months. When you think of it, redirect your thoughts to something else. Over thinking is the recipe for disaster. I WAS the queen of over thinking. It's a vicious circle. If she's playing mind games, let her. Do not stoop to her level. Let that be someone else's problem. You can NOT control her actions. You can control yours. Be strong and let it go for awhile. Take it for what it is, it's probably not as complicated as you think......good luck Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 lol, Chingy was something i listened to back in high school, i'm just using the song as an example. it's like ppl in my life are telling me to win her back, fight for love, yet everyone on here says a different story. they know my ex personally, and are disappointed we broke up, because we use to be so good. No offense to you friends...but they dont seem to know jack sh*t about this lol . Im sure they mean well but people here have had tons of experience in these things and we truly care also. We have lived it, read about it, seen this play a 1000 times here on LS. In fact id really just stop taking to your friends about this. We will guide you in the right direction but you really need to accept that this RS is way over. We are only trying to help you. Sooner or later you will understand the wisdon you are getting. Just trying to same you some months of additional suffering so you can REALLY start on the road to healing! Good luck and Rock on! Cav 2 Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 this thread is getting off the topic of her testing me, but doesn't anyone have any thoughts on the subject?? lol. "Testing you" is another way of saying "manipulating you". That's all I have to say about that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 she called me up and was disappointed i wasn't giving her attention and that was the time to win her back. Then RUN, don't walk in the other direction. This girl is extremely selfish and immature. Why are you even interested in her any longer? My guess is you suffer from low self esteem / self worth?? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted October 2, 2013 Author Share Posted October 2, 2013 Then RUN, don't walk in the other direction. This girl is extremely selfish and immature. Why are you even interested in her any longer? My guess is you suffer from low self esteem / self worth?? idk, its just that when she told me "that was the time to win me back" i was like "fuuuuuuuuccccckkkk! i could have gotten back with her but instead i chose NC." Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 lol, Chingy was something i listened to back in high school, i'm just using the song as an example. it's like ppl in my life are telling me to win her back, fight for love, yet everyone on here says a different story. they know my ex personally, and are disappointed we broke up, because we use to be so good. Ready for the key word; USE TO BE!!!! EVERY relationship, at one point, USE TO BE so good. Thats why they were in the relationship in the first place. You are failing so hard at this because you keep doing this to yourself. I kinda want to tell you to go with their advice so you fall on your face and truly get what the 1000 people WHO HAVE SEEN AND HEARD AND BEEN IN THE EXACT SITUATIONS are trying to tell you. This is getting incredibly comical at this point. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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