soccerrprp Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Why does it HAVE to be an ego boost? Seriously? I am not chasing 29 year olds. I am at a place, finally where I am not looking for a LTR. A 29 year old has made "an offer" to be friends, hang out, and have sex. What the heck is wrong with that? If she fit some kind of age appropriate "formula", it would be OK? Geez.... I feel very comfortable with it and plan to enjoy the heck out of it while it lasts and while I can, emotionally. My ONLY concern is she will start to like me, and want to date me. And I have shared this with her. Babolat, You misunderstood my post. There was a splattering of sarcasm and a few other spices involved in that post. I have nothing against your situation. As long as the two of you are clear as to what the relationship is....so be it. My past relationship with the woman who was (is) 9-years my junior also involved the idea of becoming FWB, but I, ultimately was not comfortable with that either. I understand. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Why does it HAVE to be an ego boost? Seriously? I am not chasing 29 year olds. I am at a place, finally where I am not looking for a LTR. A 29 year old has made "an offer" to be friends, hang out, and have sex. What the heck is wrong with that? If she fit some kind of age appropriate "formula", it would be OK? Geez.... I feel very comfortable with it and plan to enjoy the heck out of it while it lasts and while I can, emotionally. My ONLY concern is she will start to like me, and want to date me. And I have shared this with her. You are the one who can't stop posting the ages of women you date and sleep with. Funny how you never post much of anything other than that about them. Oh, and if you are having sex with them or not. So typical. Link to post Share on other sites
Babolat Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Babolat, You misunderstood my post. There was a splattering of sarcasm and a few other spices involved in that post. I have nothing against your situation. As long as the two of you are clear as to what the relationship is....so be it. My past relationship with the woman who was (is) 9-years my junior also involved the idea of becoming FWB, but I, ultimately was not comfortable with that either. I understand. Thanks..I am not sure yet how comfortable I am with mine..it just started, it's new to me, I am still processing it. My guess now, today, is it's something I will not be able to continue much longer. Link to post Share on other sites
Babolat Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 You are the one who can't stop posting the ages of women you date and sleep with. Funny how you never post much of anything other than that about them. Oh, and if you are having sex with them or not. So typical. This post IS about age, so I figured my recent situation would be appropriate, so I posted. If I wanted to brag, well, I would not do it here with people I do not know. And, if you look at my past posts, they are mostly about my ex gf, who is 43. And she too has many male friends, she just doesn't chose to tell all of us about it, and how great she is, and how she understands men, because she works with them, on a public forum. Just sayin'..... Link to post Share on other sites
Babolat Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Another meaningful thread runined by RedRobin, her taking yet another opportunity to bash me and all men.....I am out. Good luck OP. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 OP, this thread should give you a pretty good idea about how some men feel about age... and especially the age of women they choose to date or have sex with. My apologies for anything that you feel might have strayed too far off topic. Obviously, I have some history with a few fellow posters who don't like being judged for the same things they judge women on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author felicity1 Posted October 3, 2013 Author Share Posted October 3, 2013 (edited) No problem, I'm amused and glad this thread has been a useful springboard for you. I'm thinking, why should age be an issue if two people love each other? If I fall in love with a man who later owns up to his real age, I wouldn't suddenly distrust him. We all have insecurities about ourselves. Edited October 3, 2013 by felicity1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Young men will sleep with you alright, but won't want to be in a LTR with you. And I don't see why would you want a LTR with someone 10+ years younger. I'm 41 and people in early 30s or even late 20s have hit on me quite often this year, but I know it's all about MILF, nothing else. If this guy doesn't want you but you look younger, and if you accept that it will be casual, you'll be able to find young guys with no problem. For LTR probably not, and again, really not such a great idea anyway IMHO. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
cif Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 No problem, I'm amused and glad this thread has been a useful springboard for you. I'm thinking, why should age be an issue if two people love each other? If I fall in love with a man who later owns up to his real age, I wouldn't suddenly distrust him. We all have insecurities about ourselves. I don't think it's the age difference as much as what each wants from the R. An LTR for a man in his early 30's usually involves progression into marriage and children. Family building. An older woman wouldn't be able to provide that. Link to post Share on other sites
Vagina Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 For me all you'd have to do is be somewhat good-looking and over 35 P.S. I'm 28 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 For me all you'd have to do is be somewhat good-looking and over 35 P.S. I'm 28 I think that if William gets tired of me and bans my ass, I'm coming back as "Gonad". Maybe "Prostate". Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 (edited) Young men will sleep with you alright, but won't want to be in a LTR with you. And I don't see why would you want a LTR with someone 10+ years younger. I'm 41 and people in early 30s or even late 20s have hit on me quite often this year, but I know it's all about MILF, nothing else. If this guy doesn't want you but you look younger, and if you accept that it will be casual, you'll be able to find young guys with no problem. For LTR probably not, and again, really not such a great idea anyway IMHO. Well, these days I wouldn't count on same age or older men wanting or having the ability to maintain a LTR either. I myself recently decided not to turn down any reasonable offers from younger men... after having done so in the past from some very nice ones who were quite sincere... ------------------------------------------------------ OP, unfortunately a lot of men DO screen women on age (whether they want kids or not)... I don't see any reason why you need to tell anyone your age. You don't have to lie, but you can be cute and dodgy. This is what I do in work situations. Same rule applies. Edited October 5, 2013 by RedRobin Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Well, these days I wouldn't count on same age or older men wanting or having the ability to maintain a LTR either. I myself recently decided not to turn down any reasonable offers from younger men... after having done so in the past from some very nice ones who were quite sincere... ------------------------------------------------------ OP, unfortunately a lot of men DO screen women on age (whether they want kids or not)... I don't see any reason why you need to tell anyone your age. You don't have to lie, but you can be cute and dodgy. This is what I do in work situations. Same rule applies. Of course men that screen women on age are going to tend to be more superficial, and therefore not great relationship material. Being open and honest with your age will naturally filter these men out. Not to mention that openness and honesty are both great qualities in any relationship... Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 (edited) Just to keep things in perspective...This is what people do when they have money... loads of it. Driving Mrs. Whitney What a wonderful story. Would make a good movie. Thanks for that link. I was curious so looked on youtube and found Her husband is the bald guy, John. He only looks about twenty years younger. I bet Marylou, on her deathbed, will tell John to marry a younger woman and have fun. Her previous rich, elderly husband had given her the same advice. This gives me hope when I win the lottery! Edited October 5, 2013 by FitChick Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Of course men that screen women on age are going to tend to be more superficial, and therefore not great relationship material. Being open and honest with your age will naturally filter these men out. Not to mention that openness and honesty are both great qualities in any relationship... which is another reason not to answer. Not answering or lying (if it suits her) is another way to filter them out. They will either go to great lengths to find out your age, or they will let it drop. I don't see any reason to respond to personal questions just because someone asks. Same as a man should do if a woman is overly curious about his income. For men who like 'openness and honesty', I recommend they keep a copy of their W2 in their wallet. Fair is fair. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 This is a hard issue for me personally. I am told - even by the pharmacist who kept making me repeat my birth year because he said he thought I must be saying the wrong decade - that I look about 10 years younger than my age. I stay out of the sun and my family ages slowly. I find it embarrassing, as though I'm going to be disappointing someone who hits on me, or even when I'm becoming friends with someone who sees me as their peer but then realizes that I'm a decade older than them, which has happened quite a bit. Not really sure what to do about it, because I don't want to "age" myself by wearing clothes that don't suit me or something. But it does make me feel like a fraud. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 which is another reason not to answer. Not answering or lying (if it suits her) is another way to filter them out. They will either go to great lengths to find out your age, or they will let it drop. I don't see any reason to respond to personal questions just because someone asks. Same as a man should do if a woman is overly curious about his income. For men who like 'openness and honesty', I recommend they keep a copy of their W2 in their wallet. Fair is fair. That would be a somewhat passive aggressive way...but hey - if that's the OPs personality, have at it! And I don't know about keeping a W2 in their wallet, but I certainly agree that the same is true the other way around. Being open and honest about one's career / income is certainly advisable if you're wanting a serious relationship. Essentially, living your life authentically, letting your true self be seen - whether it be age, income, personality, or personal style etc. is the best way to date and find the best match for you. If people judge you negatively based on any of it - that's on them, and not someone you'd want to date anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 That would be a somewhat passive aggressive way...but hey - if that's the OPs personality, have at it! And I don't know about keeping a W2 in their wallet, but I certainly agree that the same is true the other way around. Being open and honest about one's career / income is certainly advisable if you're wanting a serious relationship. Essentially, living your life authentically, letting your true self be seen - whether it be age, income, personality, or personal style etc. is the best way to date and find the best match for you. If people judge you negatively based on any of it - that's on them, and not someone you'd want to date anyways. Maybe, but the OP hadn't even established if he was even single first. It isn't passive aggressive to withhold information from people before establishing their need to know. When he asked (if he asked), she could have said "Why, are you asking me out? Because if you are, the answer is yes" Question dodged. Intentions revealed. See how that works? and if he says 'no, I was just curious."... well, she can come up with something else cute to avoid it or decide to tell him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Maybe, but the OP hadn't even established if he was even single first. It isn't passive aggressive to withhold information from people before establishing their need to know. When he asked (if he asked), she could have said "Why, are you asking me out? Because if you are, the answer is yes" Question dodged. Intentions revealed. See how that works? and if he says 'no, I was just curious."... well, she can come up with something else cute to avoid it or decide to tell him. Honestly if her age is a "deal-breaker" for him, then that's what it is. Why try to start something up if it is only going to be dashed on the rocks sooner or later anyway? I don't know why OP is even still interested in the guy, if she is too old for him then she's too old for him. It's like crying because the sky is blue and your favorite color is red. It is what it is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lindsay1990 Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Just as a woman of any age would entice a man of any age. And consider that not all men alike. If at some point something dampens his attraction, and that something is something one cannot change (as opposed to say, "I don't like the smell of cigarettes on your breath) then...... move on I suppose. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Honestly if her age is a "deal-breaker" for him, then that's what it is. Why try to start something up if it is only going to be dashed on the rocks sooner or later anyway? I don't know why OP is even still interested in the guy, if she is too old for him then she's too old for him. It's like crying because the sky is blue and your favorite color is red. It is what it is. Maybe. I'm just saying that if she really does look alot younger than her real age, then she has the luxury of deciding if/when she divulges that information. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 I am told - even by the pharmacist who kept making me repeat my birth year because he said he thought I must be saying the wrong decade - that I look about 10 years younger than my age. I stay out of the sun and my family ages slowly. I find it embarrassing, as though I'm going to be disappointing someone who hits on me, or even when I'm becoming friends with someone who sees me as their peer but then realizes that I'm a decade older than them, which has happened quite a bit. Not really sure what to do about it, because I don't want to "age" myself by wearing clothes that don't suit me or something. But it does make me feel like a fraud. You are singing my song, sister. It's one thing when someone selling you something tries to flatter you with, "You look so much younger!" You can assume they are bullsh*tting you. But when a doctor or his staff do a double take or say, "Mary, guess how old Fitchick is!" and consistently guess 10-13 years younger, you can bet you look damned good. Who knew that would be a liability? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
charlietheginger Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 If he is looking for a relationship he might be thinking When she is 52 ill be 40 and so on..... The way to get him back is to let him run around in circles chasing younger women. Then he will probably comeback.... i bet if he was really intrested he might be thinking it over and in a few weeks or months might contact you again. Not much you can do chasing him will scare him off you just have to wait and see if he comes back around 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author felicity1 Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 If he is looking for a relationship he might be thinking When she is 52 ill be 40 and so on..... The way to get him back is to let him run around in circles chasing younger women. Then he will probably comeback.... i bet if he was really intrested he might be thinking it over and in a few weeks or months might contact you again. Not much you can do chasing him will scare him off you just have to wait and see if he comes back around Yeah, a friend advised me to stand back and give him space. I will try this. Thanks for all your posts guys, really helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author felicity1 Posted November 23, 2013 Author Share Posted November 23, 2013 A younger man(in his late 20s early 30s) and I(30ish-looking 42 yo) had been flirting for about a year. When we got talking his flirting intensified but when I mentioned my age, he said he had a girlfriend and fled. What can I do to attract him back? We ignored each other for the last month or so, but now he has started to flirt at me again. I don't know what the situation is with his "girlfriend" so I haven't been flirting back or talking to him. Link to post Share on other sites
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