How do older women entice younger men?

[thefooloftheyear]

Hmm.... I'm 42 but most people guess I'm in my mid 30s.

 

I think a contributing factor is that I haven't spent years ruining my skin by baking it in the sun then piling make up on it.

 

I guess there's a first for everything huh?

 

Excuse me, I did say most, and you didnt say you look 30-so there!...Im quite sure you look all of 33, though....

 

Most men dont have that problem..Even though I have a few more years on you, Id probably still pass for your illegitimate kid brother..

 

TFY

Edited October 2, 2013 by thefooloftheyear

[Frank13]

 

Women are much more open to dating men much older, but men are not quite so accommodating or accepting of the age gaps in question.

 

I think this has to do with how much money he has. Why date a much older guy with all the younger guys around?

[ascendotum]

Maybe they need new glasses or the fun house mirror has to go, but there just isnt any way an average every day 40 something year old woman looks 30..

 

Well she had the sex appeal to keep this younger guy enticed for a quite a while, so she's got the goods. Things went sour when he found out she was too old for him. For a fling that wont matter but maybe this guy is looking for LTR. I don't think she will be will be able to entice him back though, unless its for nsa.

 

Then again, why the hell would anyone seriously consider lying about their age?

 

To get some attention/validation/love/sex from a fit/nubile/sexy younger lover. Attracting somone you really desire is a good motivation. I'm not saying its right, but wanting to be with someone we are strongly attracted to is a strong desire in us. Age is just one aspect of many that make us who we are as a person to be worthy.

[thefooloftheyear]

Well she had the sex appeal to keep this younger guy enticed for a quite a while, so she's got the goods. Things went sour when he found out she was too old for him. For a fling that wont matter but maybe this guy is looking for LTR. I don't think she will be will be able to entice him back though, unless its for nsa.

 

 

 

To get some attention/validation/love/sex from a fit/nubile/sexy younger lover. Attracting somone you really desire is a good motivation. I'm not saying its right, but wanting to be with someone we are strongly attracted to is a strong desire in us. Age is just one aspect of many that make us who we are as a person to be worthy.

 

 

We all know how difficult it is to keep a guy enticed. Yeah, ok....Give a guy a sniff of getting laid, and you dont need much sex appeal...Not to say the OP doesnt, but lets get real here. She obviously didnt have enough to keep him interested, though....

 

AS to your second point, its kinda sad and pathetic to have to resort to deception to keep someone on the hook, no? Especially about something as basic and simple as your age. Like someone said earlier in the thread, it reeks of desperation.

 

TFY

[Emilia]

A younger man(in his late 20s early 30s) and I(30ish-looking 42 yo) had been flirting for about a year. When we got talking his flirting intensified but when I mentioned my age, he said he had a girlfriend and fled. What can I do to attract him back?

Anyone who flirts for a year and doesn't make a move is a waste of time for starters.

 

I am 41 and I am very upfront about my age because it makes men more curious than anything since I don't look it. Mentioning it has worked in my favour in fact, especially with men in their 30s. This is because they like to know how a woman ages - sexist or not, it's how it is. I like to know how a man ages too.

 

I think you possibly misunderstood his intentions, men don't need 'enticing' and you certainly shouldn't try. Those that appreciate older will find you.

[RedRobin]

I think this has to do with how much money he has. Why date a much older guy with all the younger guys around?

 

Just to keep things in perspective...This is what people do when they have money... loads of it.

 

Driving Mrs. Whitney

[felicity1]

I agree it does "reek of desperation" to lie, but I'm curious. If it causes further repulsion, oh well, no big deal, move on. By the way, if I looked my actual age I definitely wouldn't try this.

Edited October 2, 2013 by felicity1

[soccerrprp]

I think this has to do with how much money he has. Why date a much older guy with all the younger guys around?

 

I dated a girl that was 9-years my junior. It didn't work out, but I assure you that it wasn't because of money.

 

She preferred men who were more established AND MATURE. She felt men were much more sophomoric and took much longer for them to act like "grown", "responsible" men.

 

But, yes, money is a motivator.

[Babolat]

I was waiting for RedRobin to jump in...

 

As some here may know, I recently hung out with a woman who is 28; I am 47. I have been told I act and look much younger for my age. I had no idea how old she was until she told me, and it took her a while to tell me, and I did not ask. I assumed she was in her early to mid 30s as she is very mature, professional, has her own house, and just comes cross as older, not what I would consider the typical 28 year I have seen in my life.

 

I never looked at her as "28"; rather someone I liked, we shared things in common, had fun together, etc.

 

She joked about my age only because she thouht it bothered me. It never did. She said she has been attracted to older men since she can remember, no idea why, and that the age difference did not bother her at all.

 

I got ragged on here for chasing a younger woman. I never chased her, and to this day I still do not look at her and think "she is 28". I just see her as, well, her.

 

I recently met a woman who is 29, we hung out many times over the past few weeks, I again did not chase her, I let her "take the lead". Same thing as above, I don't look at her and think "29". I see the same thing I saw in the above woman. This weekend she made it clear she was interested in sex and fun only, she did not want to date. I have never had sex with a woman I was not in some kind of committed relationship with. I thought to myself "why not", made my move, and lets just say it was an amazing two nights. And she has already said she wants to continue with it.

[thefooloftheyear]

I think this has to do with how much money he has. Why date a much older guy with all the younger guys around?

 

 

Easy...

 

Older guys are generally more secure, worldly, smarter, more financially stable, oftentimes are better and more experienced in the sack, etc

 

And...er...despite all the garbage from the man haters on here...not all older guys are fat, hairy, bald, Geritol taking couch potatoes. Some actually have equivalent or better physiques than the kiddies...

 

Advice to the OP? If you are that well preserved, no reason you cant draw from the pool of the "good" men that are your contemporaries...Nothing wrong with going for the young'ins, but you might be surprised whats out there..

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

I was waiting for RedRobin to jump in...

 

As some here may know, I recently hung out with a woman who is 28; I am 47. I have been told I act and look much younger for my age. I had no idea how old she was until she told me, and it took her a while to tell me, and I did not ask. I assumed she was in her early to mid 30s as she is very mature, professional, has her own house, and just comes cross as older, not what I would consider the typical 28 year I have seen in my life.

 

I never looked at her as "28"; rather someone I liked, we shared things in common, had fun together, etc.

 

She joked about my age only because she thouht it bothered me. It never did. She said she has been attracted to older men since she can remember, no idea why, and that the age difference did not bother her at all.

 

I got ragged on here for chasing a younger woman. I never chased her, and to this day I still do not look at her and think "she is 28". I just see her as, well, her.

 

I recently met a woman who is 29, we hung out many times over the past few weeks, I again did not chase her, I let her "take the lead". Same thing as above, I don't look at her and think "29". I see the same thing I saw in the above woman. This weekend she made it clear she was interested in sex and fun only, she did not want to date. I have never had sex with a woman I was not in some kind of committed relationship with. I thought to myself "why not", made my move, and lets just say it was an amazing two nights. And she has already said she wants to continue with it.

 

Im your age, and I am 100% sure I can pull from that pool, but quite frankly I wouldnt have much in common with a 28 year old, nor do I care to go start learning.

 

Maybe because I already have a kid, I see no need to raise another one.

*shrug*

 

TFY

[RedRobin]

Oh, here we go again... the parade of aging men propping up their egos.

 

OP, go ahead and lie about your age if you feel you can get away with it. 'Men' lie about all kinds of things that I feel are much more important... like their intentions, life goals, etc. No reason why women can't return the favor.

 

Some of them might even get an ego boost thinking they got someone a lot younger than they have. *shrug*

 

Who cares?

[GorillaTheater]

Oh, here we go again... the parade of aging men propping up their egos.

 

OP, go ahead and lie about your age if you feel you can get away with it. 'Men' lie about all kinds of things that I feel are much more important... like their intentions, life goals, etc. No reason why women can't return the favor.

 

Some of them might even get an ego boost thinking they got someone a lot younger than they have. *shrug*

 

Who cares?

 

I admire your consistency. Whether it's older men going after younger women, or older women going after younger men, we somehow always wind up being the villains.

 

And yet, you seem to have never-ending relationship issues. It's practically inexplicable.

[Babolat]

Oh, here we go again... the parade of aging men propping up their egos.

 

OP, go ahead and lie about your age if you feel you can get away with it. 'Men' lie about all kinds of things that I feel are much more important... like their intentions, life goals, etc. No reason why women can't return the favor.

 

Some of them might even get an ego boost thinking they got someone a lot younger than they have. *shrug*

 

Who cares?

 

No ego here, should you be referring to me. With the current girl, she told me what her intentions were, I told her what mine are, we are on the same page, so to me, we communicated and I feel good about it. I do not see her, at all, as an ego boost. I don't need one. I have no intentions of dating this woman, marrying her, etc, nor does she feel that for me.

 

And, should I meet someone closer to my age (which for a LTR isd MY preference) and we connect, everything stops with the 29 year old.

 

I met a girl from OLD last week, 46, very attractive, social, nice but she has definitely "lived" all of those 46 years, and I could tell we were not at the same level.

[RedRobin]

I was waiting for RedRobin to jump in...

 

As some here may know, I recently hung out with a woman who is 28; I am 47. I have been told I act and look much younger for my age. I had no idea how old she was until she told me, and it took her a while to tell me, and I did not ask. I assumed she was in her early to mid 30s as she is very mature, professional, has her own house, and just comes cross as older, not what I would consider the typical 28 year I have seen in my life.

 

I never looked at her as "28"; rather someone I liked, we shared things in common, had fun together, etc.

 

She joked about my age only because she thouht it bothered me. It never did. She said she has been attracted to older men since she can remember, no idea why, and that the age difference did not bother her at all.

 

I got ragged on here for chasing a younger woman. I never chased her, and to this day I still do not look at her and think "she is 28". I just see her as, well, her.

 

I recently met a woman who is 29, we hung out many times over the past few weeks, I again did not chase her, I let her "take the lead". Same thing as above, I don't look at her and think "29". I see the same thing I saw in the above woman. This weekend she made it clear she was interested in sex and fun only, she did not want to date. I have never had sex with a woman I was not in some kind of committed relationship with. I thought to myself "why not", made my move, and lets just say it was an amazing two nights. And she has already said she wants to continue with it.

 

Really?? never?? Sex with the ex numerous times counts as having sex outside of a committed relationship.

 

Your stories often don't line up here. Not sure who you are trying to fool or convince... yourself or others.

 

That's ok. I just told the OP to lie about her age. Maybe the cautionary tale is that she'd likely end up attracting men like you who either lie intentionally also, or lie to themselves.

[soccerrprp]

Oh, here we go again... the parade of aging men propping up their egos.

 

Some of them might even get an ego boost thinking they got someone a lot younger than they have. *shrug*

 

Who cares?

 

Ah, one of my favorite people on LS (really).

 

Not an ego boost for me. The only and last time I will date anyone +/- 5 years of me.

 

I feel MUCH more comfortable dating around my age as I am now! Whoohoo!

[RedRobin]

No ego here, should you be referring to me. With the current girl, she told me what her intentions were, I told her what mine are, we are on the same page, so to me, we communicated and I feel good about it. I do not see her, at all, as an ego boost. I don't need one. I have no intentions of dating this woman, marrying her, etc, nor does she feel that for me.

 

And, should I meet someone closer to my age (which for a LTR isd MY preference) and we connect, everything stops with the 29 year old.

 

I met a girl from OLD last week, 46, very attractive, social, nice but she has definitely "lived" all of those 46 years, and I could tell we were not at the same level.

 

Word up... You are obsessed with the ages of the women you date and sleep with.

 

In your descriptions of most of them, all you ever mention is their age... Like I said... it screams middle aged crisis like nothing else does. If it didn't, you wouldn't feel the need to post your age in every other post nor theirs.

 

Just get on with it already.

[RedRobin]

I admire your consistency. Whether it's older men going after younger women, or older women going after younger men, we somehow always wind up being the villains.

 

And yet, you seem to have never-ending relationship issues. It's practically inexplicable.

 

Really? what relationship issues are those?

 

I'm not in a tired marriage. I'm not getting strung along in a FWB or FB arrangement. I'm not getting BS'd by guys claiming they want a commitment when they don't....

 

you know.... wasting my time.

 

I dunno. Sounds like relationship 'success' to me.

[Babolat]

Really?? never?? Sex with the ex numerous times counts as having sex outside of a committed relationship.

 

I disagree. It was not just sex with her...we were having reconciliation talks, I had feelings for her, there was emotion involved, and to a degree there was some kind of relationship still there. And I did not, and would not, have slept with another woman during that time.

 

Once I realized it did not feel right, I stopped it. She continued to ask if she could meet at my house to talk; I agreed to meet in public. Ironically, things started ending a lot faster after that for her.

[Babolat]

Your stories often don't line up here. Not sure who you are trying to fool or convince... yourself or others.

 

That's ok. I just told the OP to lie about her age. Maybe the cautionary tale is that she'd likely end up attracting men like you who either lie intentionally also, or lie to themselves.

 

Geez, just when I start to like you again you toss this crap out.

 

I will not disagree with you that I have been all over the place the past 6+ months. It's been a process for me, one I had to go thru, and one that has made me stronger.

 

I feel very comfortable with who I am and I am not lying to anybody, myself included. The past 6+ months has been a major growth period for me and I feel better than ever, stronger than ever, healthier than ever. I feel like I am in a place where I am no longer reacting, rather responding, and I am making decisions from a place of strength.

 

Sorry you can't see that and even sorrier you still like to toss all of us men into your buckets. I hope one day you can move past that because you do seem like a pretty cool chick.

 

The OP should not lie. If she wants a younger man, then go after one if they will not com after here. i see nothing wrong with that if that is what she wants to do.

 

Strange that you encourage her to lie, than judge me for what you perceive as lying....

[RedRobin]

I disagree. It was not just sex with her...we were having reconciliation talks, I had feelings for her, there was emotion involved, and to a degree there was some kind of relationship still there. And I did not, and would not, have slept with another woman during that time.

 

Once I realized it did not feel right, I stopped it. She continued to ask if she could meet at my house to talk; I agreed to meet in public. Ironically, things started ending a lot faster after that for her.

 

You are the master of spin. I'll give you that.

 

...but lets be clear. You were not in a committed relationship with her while you were having sex with her. You called her your ex. You were dating others. Not that it matters... but it must matter to you enough to fudge or dance around the edges.

 

Look, Babs... I'm not the only one here who has called you out on your inconsistencies.

 

There is a disconnect between the person you really are, and the person you wish to be. I get it. If, at some point, you really DO care to be in a committed, healthy relationship again, those two sides of you will need to merge somehow.

 

An honest, emotionally healthy woman won't tolerate it. At all.

[Babolat]

Ah, one of my favorite people on LS (really).

 

Not an ego boost for me. The only and last time I will date anyone +/- 5 years of me.

 

I feel MUCH more comfortable dating around my age as I am now! Whoohoo!

 

Why does it HAVE to be an ego boost? Seriously?

 

I am not chasing 29 year olds. I am at a place, finally where I am not looking for a LTR. A 29 year old has made "an offer" to be friends, hang out, and have sex. What the heck is wrong with that? If she fit some kind of age appropriate "formula", it would be OK? Geez....

 

I feel very comfortable with it and plan to enjoy the heck out of it while it lasts and while I can, emotionally. My ONLY concern is she will start to like me, and want to date me. And I have shared this with her.

[Babolat]

You were dating others.

Remind me how, when and where I was dating others? There was no romance, no intimacy, no sex, nothing physical with any other women, at all, while I was having sex with my ex gf.

 

I developed a wonderful friendship witha 45 year old woman, who my ex met, I spent time with another woman, who was 40, who thought I wanted to date her, freaked out and sent me a long email, so I quickly realized we could not be friends and ended that.

 

The 28 year old, well, that all happened during a 4+- week period of time of no contact with the ex, where I thought we were done, again, and still, I was not dating the 28 year old.

 

I hear you, I can see how you can see all of this..and you make excellent points, ones I listen to. But, geez, give me a little credit here.

[Babolat]

[quote=RedRobin; If, at some point, you really DO care to be in a committed, healthy relationship again, those two sides of you will need to merge somehow.

 

An honest, emotionally healthy woman won't tolerate it. At all.

 

The 45 year old woman I have been hanging out with a lot, nearly every weekend, I am becoming more and more attracted to her. It's a first for me, a 6+ month friendship where the emotional and physical attraction is growing. There have been times recently where I wanted to hold her hand, touch her, kiss her, etc

 

She is talking about dating now, that she wants to get back out there. She is looking at profiles online, talking more to men she meets. I see her "looking" when we are together. She will comment on a "cute boy".

 

I am curious about an "us", but until I can make sure I am ready I am not going to persue it. I am 100% sure I could take a next step with her, and 2+ years ago, where I was then in my life, not a very healthy place, I would have.

 

But I now know myself better (despite what you think) and I won't go there until I am 100% sure I am ready. I may "lose" her in the meantime, but I would rather that happen than for me to move forward with something I am not ready for. Plus I do not want to hurt her. She has not dated for over 7 months, she has been working on herself, and I respect that.

 

I view the last 6+ months of my life as a process, a journey, a lot of ups and downs. You chose to judge me and toss me in one of your buckets. I get it, and it makes sense. Though you will never live in my body and feel what I feel, despite how hard you try to with men.

[Babolat]

OP, since he has a gf, and you still want him back, it appears this is a sexaul thing for you, only? Or do you need an ego boost, like RR talks about?

 

I would not volunteer your age, be honest if asked, and then it's up to him. You can't control him at that point, entice him as you state. Be who you are, be comfortable with who you are, show confidence and be secure (very attractive) and know what you want (sounds like it's sex with young men) and just go for it. One will bite, trust me.

 

My 45 year old female friend, when she was 43, dated a guy 29 for a year. She realized he had a lot living still to do, the age difference was a maturity issue for them, and she ended it. BUT, she did not go into looking for just sex.