Author atreides Posted October 4, 2013 Author Share Posted October 4, 2013 That's a bit more understandable. I guess. As long as you are firm on 3 Strikes You're Out. Still, you're probably wondering when the next episode will occur. What if she falls off the wagon (many do) and she 'zones out' again and winds up in someone else's arms? Yes, i do worry about that. She has been great about it though. We still go to parties but she has severely limited herself on drinking and has proven to hold her own more than a few times in the past 3 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author atreides Posted October 4, 2013 Author Share Posted October 4, 2013 That's a bit more understandable. I guess. As long as you are firm on 3 Strikes You're Out. Still, you're probably wondering when the next episode will occur. What if she falls off the wagon (many do) and she 'zones out' again and winds up in someone else's arms? The 2nd time, i felt more threatened by vs. the party. She did not zone out or should i say was as drunk than she was at the party. Our fight after that was severe, my anger and i was enraged. That with D on the table has since changed her as i stated before. In hindsight, the party i was more trying to get her to come to and get sober before going off on her vs the 2nd time which was leaving the club in sort of making a scene and letting her have it. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Since her bad behavior seems to be when she drinks - why hasn't she stopped drinking all together? Link to post Share on other sites
Author atreides Posted October 11, 2013 Author Share Posted October 11, 2013 Since her bad behavior seems to be when she drinks - why hasn't she stopped drinking all together? she really has, if she drinks, it is 1 glass of wine usually. She has been really good. I have watched her at parties as well and she keeps to one glass of wine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author atreides Posted October 11, 2013 Author Share Posted October 11, 2013 Since her bad behavior seems to be when she drinks - why hasn't she stopped drinking all together? I also don't like extremes, going from one end to the other like that. My dad was an alcoholic and it was many years of hell. He did not go dry though, I think it took more will power to moderate and no when to say no and when it is ok. To this day he has never gone back and has his occasional drink. Link to post Share on other sites
unicorn farts Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Hi Atreides, Maybe I'm just projecting but it sounds to me like she's dealing with insecurity about you possibly cheating on her. Considering it's prevalent in her culture (the fact that her brother encouraged you to have a mistress -- wow), even though you've done nothing wrong, the fear of you cheating may be pretty deeply ingrained. It doesn't sound to me like she's cheating, but that kind of insecurity and resentment can linger on and on and pop up in odd ways ('getting back' by kissing your friend, the comments about swinging). I know sometimes people that fear cheating/have been cheated on may consider swinging as a way to 'reclaim' their partner and make sure that if their partner goes outside of marriage everything is above-board. I think it's great sign and shows a desire to remain committed to you that she has given up drinking. I think she sounds like an honest person with some demons to battle through counseling. Good luck to both of you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author atreides Posted October 11, 2013 Author Share Posted October 11, 2013 Hi Atreides, Maybe I'm just projecting but it sounds to me like she's dealing with insecurity about you possibly cheating on her. Considering it's prevalent in her culture (the fact that her brother encouraged you to have a mistress -- wow), even though you've done nothing wrong, the fear of you cheating may be pretty deeply ingrained. It doesn't sound to me like she's cheating, but that kind of insecurity and resentment can linger on and on and pop up in odd ways ('getting back' by kissing your friend, the comments about swinging). I know sometimes people that fear cheating/have been cheated on may consider swinging as a way to 'reclaim' their partner and make sure that if their partner goes outside of marriage everything is above-board. I think it's great sign and shows a desire to remain committed to you that she has given up drinking. I think she sounds like an honest person with some demons to battle through counseling. Good luck to both of you. Very insightful, i did not think of it that way. Link to post Share on other sites
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