all_cats_rgray Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 No. Thats all I wanted to post. But I understand you will not understand this statement. You are truly alone in this "relationship". Alone. Don't trust people, don't love people, they will betray you. and then you die. Do I sound to bitter... welcome to the real world. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
movingonnow1 Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 IS 60 day point any set rule? Sweetie I know you are looking for any small hope...I know you are but you gotta stop doing this to yourself. Just move forward, please for yourself. Better yourself and don't look to be with anyone for a while. If he comes back, you'll at least be more emotionally stable to make the right decision on what to do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
travelonic Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 This is pretty much only true if the breakup was a spur of the moment impulse decision. What about if it was from an affair - and the person having the affair breaking it off to pursue the other person [not thinking about what is going on, how that person is hurting the person he or she is already with, etc], regardless of genders [to steer clear of stupid MvF ****]? It would be far from absolute, but that seems one avenue where the regret and guilt can resurface, particularly if the affair relationship falls apart... but of course it needs to be stressed that this is not absolute, sometimes the affair relationship works, and sometimes even when they fail/fall apart the guilt and regret isn't there... though from what I've read, it seems more often than not some sort of regret is at least visible on the surface once this happens. Heh, I love brain riddles at 10:35 PM... Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 IS 60 day point any set rule? I read a relationship book written by some PhD. Can't remember her name but I remember her writing, "If a guy is going to come back to you, it's going to happen within 60 days." And that if 60 days has passed and there is no word, move on. It's over. Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 I read a relationship book written by some PhD. Can't remember her name but I remember her writing, "If a guy is going to come back to you, it's going to happen within 60 days." And that if 60 days has passed and there is no word, move on. It's over. There's no set rule. My therapist said it usually happens in the 3-6 month range. Either way, there's no point in waiting around for any period of time. Always be moving forward with life 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RiceaRoni Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 I'd say most dumpers do have a sense of regret eventually if it was a good relationship and things just got stale. I don't think it's reserved for just males or females. However this does not always mean they will want to reconcile. This is true.. Happened with my first ex of 14months He dumped me, and about a few weeks to a month later felt guilt and remorse for dumping me...he felt this way for a long while, even when he invested himself with a new girlfriend.. And although he regretted breaking up with me, there was no asking for a reconciliation from him. We went our separate ways. And today we're on good terms. He and the girlfriend he had broke up within 7 months....and we talk on occasion from time to time. So to answer your question, yes. He felt regret for what he did, but it didn't end with us coming back together. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 I broke up with a girl who did me wrong. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I loved her as a person but I had to do it for myself. I've never, ever regretted it or felt bad about it. I cried for nearly an entire day and I'm not a crier. It was hard but I've never looked back. So in summation, it depends on your circumstances. Link to post Share on other sites
Misfortune Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 There's no set rule. My therapist said it usually happens in the 3-6 month range. Either way, there's no point in waiting around for any period of time. Always be moving forward with life My therapist told me to give it 3 months and let it go if nothing happens. This month makes 3 and I'm moving forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 IS 60 day point any set rule? Most guides seem to go by this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nancy87 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Share Posted September 23, 2013 isnt it insane that only the sane need therapy, where as heartless losers can go on without any therapy n still be so satisfied with themselves? I find this world a funny place to live. having a heart, feeling n being emotional is only being a human! Only animals would turn their ass to their exs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nancy87 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Share Posted September 23, 2013 M about to complete my fourth month post break up. And he still ****ing does not realize it. I am strongly beginning to feel now that he NEVER loved me. i was just his time pass! If he ever loved me, he wouldn't leave me in such a pathetic state! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 It's really impossible to know exactly what is occurring within the mind and psychology of another, hence one can never truly know what a demonstrably 'heartless' individual is thinking or feeling. One can certainly *interpret* their words and actions and that is filtered through our own senses and minds, the key to which only we have. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
barky2 Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 IDC what psychiatrist or books or anyone says. I've had exs come back after 10+ years I've tried to go back to a ex after 10+ years Not trying to give you false hope. But anyone who can put a label on " oh 60days , oh 3-6 months" is talking out their brown eye. People aren't predictable...especially after a breakup. I've said it numerous times, how many threads have you seen where the person says " they're completely different"! That's because THEYRE NOT THE SAME PERSON YOU KNOW. My advice always....ALWAYS, act like they're never coming back, continue to live your life everyday to make yourself happy, if they do come back...ever...deal with that headache then. But I promise you, the more you pine, the more you want it...the less likely it will happen. BarkyBarky 3 Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Nancy, you are torturing yourself with these existential questions. Trying to understand his psychology will do nothing but cause you to stew over the breakup. The longer you spend trying to overthink this, the longer until you can move forward. Will he come back? The only one who knows that is him. And that's not governed by some 60 day rule. You need to move forward and assume he isn't. It's better to expect him to not come back and then have him do it, then to expect him to come back and for him not to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nancy87 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Share Posted September 23, 2013 IDC what psychiatrist or books or anyone says. I've had exs come back after 10+ years I've tried to go back to a ex after 10+ years Not trying to give you false hope. But anyone who can put a label on " oh 60days , oh 3-6 months" is talking out their brown eye. People aren't predictable...especially after a breakup. I've said it numerous times, how many threads have you seen where the person says " they're completely different"! That's because THEYRE NOT THE SAME PERSON YOU KNOW. My advice always....ALWAYS, act like they're never coming back, continue to live your life everyday to make yourself happy, if they do come back...ever...deal with that headache then. But I promise you, the more you pine, the more you want it...the less likely it will happen. BarkyBarky If he comes back to me and then i am deeply in love with some body else, would that help me? would that take away the misery that i am going through right now? I am v educated n still i feel so helpless to control my emotions.. WTF! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nancy87 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Share Posted September 23, 2013 Nancy, you are torturing yourself with these existential questions. Trying to understand his psychology will do nothing but cause you to stew over the breakup. The longer you spend trying to overthink this, the longer until you can move forward. Will he come back? The only one who knows that is him. And that's not governed by some 60 day rule. You need to move forward and assume he isn't. It's better to expect him to not come back and then have him do it, then to expect him to come back and for him not to. Th only thing that is holding me back is that he told me, Remember always, that i truly loved you! no matter what.. N now he is so happy n m so ****ed up my fault? I trusted his words, had faith in him! Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Th only thing that is holding me back is that he told me, Remember always, that i truly loved you! no matter what.. N now he is so happy n m so ****ed up my fault? I trusted his words, had faith in him! That shouldn't be holding you back. He used past tense. "I LOVED you" not "I love you". Link to post Share on other sites
barky2 Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Th only thing that is holding me back is that he told me, Remember always, that i truly loved you! no matter what.. N now he is so happy n m so ****ed up my fault? I trusted his words, had faith in him! You cannot truly DEEPLY love someone else until you reconcile the feelings of hurt in your heart from the previous relationship. If not, it'll be a rebound and you'll be even more damaged Take some time to be single and free and better yourself and make yourself happy again before even think of trying to find someone else. Barky Link to post Share on other sites
Misfortune Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 IDC what psychiatrist or books or anyone says. I've had exs come back after 10+ years I've tried to go back to a ex after 10+ years Not trying to give you false hope. But anyone who can put a label on " oh 60days , oh 3-6 months" is talking out their brown eye. People aren't predictable...especially after a breakup. I've said it numerous times, how many threads have you seen where the person says " they're completely different"! That's because THEYRE NOT THE SAME PERSON YOU KNOW. My advice always....ALWAYS, act like they're never coming back, continue to live your life everyday to make yourself happy, if they do come back...ever...deal with that headache then. But I promise you, the more you pine, the more you want it...the less likely it will happen. BarkyBarky I agree that people do come back into your life at random times. The time frame given to me wasn't for/about my ex, it was for me. It was so I would move on and not spend my life focusing on my ex. Some people get stuck in that "will/does he/she....?" Cycle and just need something to help them move forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nancy87 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Share Posted September 23, 2013 That shouldn't be holding you back. He used past tense. "I LOVED you" not "I love you". When he said it to me it was in present. ahhhhhh! Pains Yes u are right barky! Link to post Share on other sites
barky2 Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Been there done that Nancy That's why. Barky Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nancy87 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Share Posted September 23, 2013 He was wooing that werido before too, but then i came along n he found me insanely attractive n fell real hard. i didn't agree at first but then i said ok. N now after the breakup, he's adding back his exs, trying to get that other girl. He has lost his mind i can see! N you know why is he after that girl? coz she earns like CRAZY! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nancy87 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Share Posted September 23, 2013 Only makes me realize further what a **** person i was after! Link to post Share on other sites
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