thefooloftheyear Posted September 19, 2013 Share Posted September 19, 2013 Then why do I hear so many women say "I only go to the gym for myself". "I only wear makeup for myself". "I only do my hair for myself". If the pressure was on women from men? Either your entire paragraph is bull**** or these girls are lying. Just take a stroll through your neighborhood WalMart at 10AM during the week...Looks like an effin petting zoo! TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 I agree with this expect with "Women also tend to value their own apperance more than men do of all ages." No. Men value women's appearance over anything else and women are just trying to remaind beautiful and feminine in the eyes of men who largely consider us only worth while as long as we are young and hot. The heart game is women want to be women. In our society, being a "woman" is defined through beauty. Not neccesarily what a good heart you have. Alot of men, not all men, largely do not value women for what is really important. They mearly largly care about the superficial stuff over anything else. then they blame women who try to keep up with the jones of what men are largely driving. Unfortunetly, men don't realize they have the potentail to be so much more then they allow themselves or women to be. I agree that a lot of men do only value women for their appearance - I don't and I don't think men or culture should place such a major emphasis on it. But women themselves internalize and behave in a way to reinforce it. It's one thing to be insecure because media images only show photoshopped '10s', but it's another thing to succumb to those feelinsg and spend half your time, energy and money on trying to achieve those unrealistic ideals. Women can control their behaviour. If they think it's wrong that women are only valued for their appearance, stop buying the beauty products. Stop following fashion trends. Stop trying to delay the natural effects of aging on your appearance. These are things women can control. What other people think and feel (like marketers or men) is out of their control. No use spending much energy on things you can't control. Link to post Share on other sites
Shaun-Dro Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 And both sexes give up when they are in a serious relationship. Sad. Christie Brinkley looks fantastic in this article. Yea this is true, unfortunately. My young girlfriend hasn't done so yet since we're still fresh from the pond and she's at that tender age to care a whole lot about her appearance, but I know had I gone a decade up, there would be disappointment by now. Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 Im a little older, but thankfully im not crapping myself yet! Ill say this about women that "look good"..... Y'all have some magical undergarments going on under those clothes.. I have been around women that look smashing in clothes, yet see 'em naked or in a two piece...yikes..!! Eh...I love y'all just the same. TFY I think they're called splanks. The lady who invented them is a billionnaire. Honestly I think women look better at any age. Especially in photos. They just know about stuff like that. I know how to hit a baseball and change oil in the car and take down the action on a rifle and run a backhoe and dress out a deer. You look pretty crappy after you do all that LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 There's too much pressure on young guys as well. I'm a guy and I had to put my body through Hell in order to get to the point that regular, average, every day girls wouldn't run away when I said "hi" and I'm definitely not in the minority. I see young guys at the gyms here in CA and back in AZ who are in their teens and obviously on a cycle, plus they are getting body waxes etc. It's a really sad commentary on the society we live in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FitChick Posted September 20, 2013 Author Share Posted September 20, 2013 Are there women in their 40's and 50's(and 60's)like this? Sure, but they arent as common as men. TFY You must live in an economically depressed area. Educated people who work in areas where competition is fierce know they have an edge looking good. I work in that type of city. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FitChick Posted September 20, 2013 Author Share Posted September 20, 2013 Just take a stroll through your neighborhood WalMart at 10AM during the week...Looks like an effin petting zoo! TFY Go to Bloomingdale's or Barney's at the same time during the week. Totally different group. People with higher incomes have higher standards for most things. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 (edited) You must live in an economically depressed area. Educated people who work in areas where competition is fierce know they have an edge looking good. I work in that type of city. No... Think Housewives of NJ. That gives you some idea...Yes, most of the women here are fit and hot,,,But truth told, between the personal trainers, botox, lipo, boob jobs, tummy tucks, porcelain veneers, 250 dollar haircuts, etc.. You might as well not even call them women anymore.. But leave this area, go out to the midwest or other non metropolitan area and you are going to see some really unkept heavyweights, Sorry, im just making an observation as someone who gets around this country a lot. Thats more the norm than what we have around here..Most of the women around here have more invested in their teeth than the rest of the female population has in their 401K TFY Edited September 21, 2013 by thefooloftheyear Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 I totally agree with you when you said that women internalize and behave in ways that reinforce it. That was very well said and just completely spot on. And I agree that we should practice more autonomy from the media rather then spending our lives trying to live up to something we can never live up to anyway. I also agree that women can control their behavior and should. But it's not so black and white all the time when it comes to beauty products and fashion. There are certainly lots of beauty products and fashion that exploit us that we allow. But also, fashion is something that women enjoy for the art and expression of it. It's not always about having to be the sex goddess. But I agree with most of what you said. In what ways do you believe men need to be responsible for as you listed out the ways women can be responsible for not buying into social ideals? This is very true - it rarely is black and white. Anytime we talk about the human condition things are very complicated and it is nearly impossible to tease out a cause and effect - mostly because everybody is different genetically, raised different, and live in different cultures. So many variables... As far as what men can do to try to limit the effects of superficiality - I would say it's pretty much the same as women. Control their own choices and behaviour. If they think we should live in a less superficial world, stop choosing based on superficial traits. Limit media consumption (including porn). I personally have let go of friends with misogynistic tendencies and don't have any friends that view women as merely sex objects. I live by my values and surround myself with people that share those values. That is something we should all be doing. The problem, of course, are that so many people support and encourage superficiality - they buy right in (like the OP). Why, for example, is it referred to as "letting themselves go" as opposed to shifting values to more meaningful qualities rather than focus on shallow, superficial ones? I hope that as we get older, we also get wiser and our values would shift accordingly... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 There's too much pressure on young guys as well. I'm a guy and I had to put my body through Hell in order to get to the point that regular, average, every day girls wouldn't run away when I said "hi" and I'm definitely not in the minority. I see young guys at the gyms here in CA and back in AZ who are in their teens and obviously on a cycle, plus they are getting body waxes etc. It's a really sad commentary on the society we live in. This is crazy man. I never worked out a day in my life until I joined the military. Now I work out because I have to (and I developed a liking for it). Never had any problems getting girls when I was out of shape. Link to post Share on other sites
Pompeii Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 (edited) The problem, of course, are that so many people support and encourage superficiality - they buy right in (like the OP). Why, for example, is it referred to as "letting themselves go" as opposed to shifting values to more meaningful qualities rather than focus on shallow, superficial ones? I hope that as we get older, we also get wiser and our values would shift accordingly... Because you are judged by how you present yourself to the world. If I am a hiring manager and two people with similar resumes and backgrounds interview for a job with one being slovenly and the other being kept up, you should know which one I'll choose. There's too much pressure on young guys as well. I'm a guy and I had to put my body through Hell in order to get to the point that regular, average, every day girls wouldn't run away when I said "hi" and I'm definitely not in the minority. I see young guys at the gyms here in CA and back in AZ who are in their teens and obviously on a cycle, plus they are getting body waxes etc. It's a really sad commentary on the society we live in. You can thank the rise of the "aesthetics movement" for that. I'm all about aesthetics, but some people take it too far. I'd never juice because I don't want my natural testosterone stores to diminish. Guys see people like Zyzz who got more girls than imaginable and they strive towards that. Edited September 21, 2013 by Pompeii Link to post Share on other sites
Author FitChick Posted September 21, 2013 Author Share Posted September 21, 2013 But leave this area, go out to the midwest or other non metropolitan area and you are going to see some really unkept heavyweights TFY Men and women in the hinterlands fit that description. They are even heavier in the Deep South. Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 You must live in an economically depressed area. Educated people who work in areas where competition is fierce know they have an edge looking good. I work in that type of city. This is a good example of how being educated =/= being intelligent. Why would someone live in a place where there is fierce competition (ie: low demand and high supply), as opposed to living in a place where there is little competition (ie: high demand and low supply)? Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 This is a good example of how being educated =/= being intelligent. Why would someone live in a place where there is fierce competition (ie: low demand and high supply), as opposed to living in a place where there is little competition (ie: high demand and low supply)? Cuz thats where the high dollar jobs,money(and the hot old ladies:laugh:) are.... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 I think another thing thats worth mentioning is some people "let themselves go" due to depression, or some passive aggressive behavior agoinst their spouse/SO.. TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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