Break up letter need analyzing. I don't know

[Ireallydontknow]

Most people do not marry their first love. Everyone thinks they will though Trust me everyone has been where you are at, it will get better and you can help speed that along by having NC with her. also no offense but sounds like you were kinda a doormat in your R with her, the starving (wtf!!) yourself, doing everything for her..........you need boundaries.

 

This, this, THIS! Seriously If I put boundaries down on my first year of the relationship her true colors would of shown a lot quicker. Don't be a doormat, people like her will suck your soul out until you are weak and addicted.

 

Try some self esteem boosting things. Also NC.

[Viro12]

Most people do not marry their first love. Everyone thinks they will though Trust me everyone has been where you are at, it will get better and you can help speed that along by having NC with her. also no offense but sounds like you were kinda a doormat in your R with her, the starving (wtf!!) yourself, doing everything for her..........you need boundaries.

 

Well I never let her knew about the starving because I KNOW how weak that makes me appear.

[veggirl]

Well I never let her knew about the starving because I KNOW how weak that makes me appear.

 

It doesn't make you "appear" weak, it means you ARE weak. no healthy individual would be doing that type of stuff for ANYONE. you have a lot of work on yourself that needs to be done before you will attract the type of healthy R you want.

[Dolphono]

I know the guy she's seeing his working visa ends in a year. He always wanted to go back to the UK. Sorry I just had to stalk who the hell ruined me. He's also quite the lady's man. As far as I know, artists switch companies all the time. They're done by year to year contracts. Of course she doesn't know all this and I don't intend on telling her . It's the least amount of revenge I can allow myself to have.

 

Exactly. Dude hold your head up for one day, you'll be the one that got away.

You may never have her physically again, but you'll have her mentally in the future.

[Viro12]

It doesn't make you "appear" weak, it means you ARE weak. no healthy individual would be doing that type of stuff for ANYONE. you have a lot of work on yourself that needs to be done before you will attract the type of healthy R you want.

 

Yea I agree. I honestly can envision a life without her at this moment though. I know what kind of life I want before this relationship happened. I'm glad I didn't push it all the way to the side during this relationship. It wouldn't be hard to get back to where I was on my career path and achieving my life expectations.

 

I know I can be happy without her. It just needs to get my brain back.

[Chi townD]

Dude, you need to start NC. Go completely dark on her. Respond to nothing! I mean, now you're telling me she's flaunting this guy in front of you?!?! Screw her!

 

Dude, you need to start making positive changes in your life. The first thing you need to do is get a new hairstyle and buy new clothes. Be styling and profiling. People need to say to you, " Damn dude! Lookin sharp!" this is going to help your self esteem.

 

Eat healthy and get plenty of sleep. Then, get to the gym, run on the treadmill and push weight. This will help you work off that stress and frustrations you're having. Plus, you'll be working on that rock hard bod that girls are definitely gonna notice. It's gonna help your self esteem when your working out in the gym and girls are looking at your six pack abs and well defined arms while they're in a spin class!

 

GO back to school. Get your Bachelor's degree. If you have one then get your Masters or PhD. Keep busy with your school work and not on what she's doing. Higher education opens up a lot more financial opportunities. So, you be able to afford that kick ass townhouse in that awesome neighbor and you'll be able to own your dream car.

 

Then, get a hobby, something you enjoy. Join a club! A cycling club, or a running club. These folks get together all of the time and travel to a ride or a mud run. Fun things. Or join a mens soccer league, coed softball, diving classes...something! Get yourself out there!

 

Then, travel! Go to somewhere you always wanted to go and do it! Save your money, make a plan, have a friend go with you and GO!!!! There's a big world outside your door And your Ex isn't it!

 

Wouldn't it be nice if one of her friends said to her one day, "Hey, didn't you used to date Viro12? I just ran into him coming out of the gym. Girl! Why did you give that up? He looks hot!!! I walked with him to his car, you know that red mustang convertible is sweet! He says his life is great but he had to go, he needed to get a few more things for his trip. He says he's leaving tomorrow for Australia for a couple of weeks. He says he's going to dive and see the Great Barrier Reef. I hope you don't mind, but I gave him my number."

 

It would be even nicer if she saw a pic of you standing on a boat in Australia and she see's that your dive partner is this hot blonde haired, blue eyed Aussie girl that looks fantastic in a wetsuit!

 

That's how you get your revenge, you lead a damn good life! A life she could get jealous of while she's working an audio-visual problem with her douche rocket "soulmate".

[Viro12]

Dude, you need to start NC. Go completely dark on her. Respond to nothing! I mean, now you're telling me she's flaunting this guy in front of you?!?! Screw her!

 

Dude, you need to start making positive changes in your life. The first thing you need to do is get a new hairstyle and buy new clothes. Be styling and profiling. People need to say to you, " Damn dude! Lookin sharp!" this is going to help your self esteem.

 

Eat healthy and get plenty of sleep. Then, get to the gym, run on the treadmill and push weight. This will help you work off that stress and frustrations you're having. Plus, you'll be working on that rock hard bod that girls are definitely gonna notice. It's gonna help your self esteem when your working out in the gym and girls are looking at your six pack abs and well defined arms while they're in a spin class!

 

GO back to school. Get your Bachelor's degree. If you have one then get your Masters or PhD. Keep busy with your school work and not on what she's doing. Higher education opens up a lot more financial opportunities. So, you be able to afford that kick ass townhouse in that awesome neighbor and you'll be able to own your dream car.

 

Then, get a hobby, something you enjoy. Join a club! A cycling club, or a running club. These folks get together all of the time and travel to a ride or a mud run. Fun things. Or join a mens soccer league, coed softball, diving classes...something! Get yourself out there!

 

Then, travel! Go to somewhere you always wanted to go and do it! Save your money, make a plan, have a friend go with you and GO!!!! There's a big world outside your door And your Ex isn't it!

 

Wouldn't it be nice if one of her friends said to her one day, "Hey, didn't you used to date Viro12? I just ran into him coming out of the gym. Girl! Why did you give that up? He looks hot!!! I walked with him to his car, you know that red mustang convertible is sweet! He says his life is great but he had to go, he needed to get a few more things for his trip. He says he's leaving tomorrow for Australia for a couple of weeks. He says he's going to dive and see the Great Barrier Reef. I hope you don't mind, but I gave him my number."

 

It would be even nicer if she saw a pic of you standing on a boat in Australia and she see's that your dive partner is this hot blonde haired, blue eyed Aussie girl that looks fantastic in a wetsuit!

 

That's how you get your revenge, you lead a damn good life! A life she could get jealous of while she's working an audio-visual problem with her douche rocket "soulmate".

 

Erm, my life was on its track and I do work out regularly and I do get hit on. The part about the looks was because I think he looks better than me. I am not without wealth financially. I came from a very wealthy family that tries to set up me up for marriage since I was 18, of course I pushed it off because of her. I perfer to be with someone I chose to be, not someone handed to me in a plate.

 

For her though, I always appeared in front of her as the poor college student because my family is strict in believing people should learn how to budget manage and know the importance of money so we can handle it later on and not get lost in it.

[Chi townD]

Okay, so forget the first half and go out and get involved!!! Go take trips! Get out of the norm! See something different and something that won't remind you of her! Still seek out the clubs and interact with people. Meet new people! And hey, you never know who you'll meet along the way!

[Trying2MakeIt]

Dude, you need to start NC. Go completely dark on her. Respond to nothing! I mean, now you're telling me she's flaunting this guy in front of you?!?! Screw her!

 

Dude, you need to start making positive changes in your life. The first thing you need to do is get a new hairstyle and buy new clothes. Be styling and profiling. People need to say to you, " Damn dude! Lookin sharp!" this is going to help your self esteem.

 

Eat healthy and get plenty of sleep. Then, get to the gym, run on the treadmill and push weight. This will help you work off that stress and frustrations you're having. Plus, you'll be working on that rock hard bod that girls are definitely gonna notice. It's gonna help your self esteem when your working out in the gym and girls are looking at your six pack abs and well defined arms while they're in a spin class!

 

GO back to school. Get your Bachelor's degree. If you have one then get your Masters or PhD. Keep busy with your school work and not on what she's doing. Higher education opens up a lot more financial opportunities. So, you be able to afford that kick ass townhouse in that awesome neighbor and you'll be able to own your dream car.

 

Then, get a hobby, something you enjoy. Join a club! A cycling club, or a running club. These folks get together all of the time and travel to a ride or a mud run. Fun things. Or join a mens soccer league, coed softball, diving classes...something! Get yourself out there!

 

Then, travel! Go to somewhere you always wanted to go and do it! Save your money, make a plan, have a friend go with you and GO!!!! There's a big world outside your door And your Ex isn't it!

 

Wouldn't it be nice if one of her friends said to her one day, "Hey, didn't you used to date Viro12? I just ran into him coming out of the gym. Girl! Why did you give that up? He looks hot!!! I walked with him to his car, you know that red mustang convertible is sweet! He says his life is great but he had to go, he needed to get a few more things for his trip. He says he's leaving tomorrow for Australia for a couple of weeks. He says he's going to dive and see the Great Barrier Reef. I hope you don't mind, but I gave him my number."

 

It would be even nicer if she saw a pic of you standing on a boat in Australia and she see's that your dive partner is this hot blonde haired, blue eyed Aussie girl that looks fantastic in a wetsuit!

 

That's how you get your revenge, you lead a damn good life! A life she could get jealous of while she's working an audio-visual problem with her douche rocket "soulmate".

Classic.....On running into her friends at the gym lol. It does happen. Agreed , got to completely get away to get back on track.

[Viro12]

Okay, so forget the first half and go out and get involved!!! Go take trips! Get out of the norm! See something different and something that won't remind you of her! Still seek out the clubs and interact with people. Meet new people! And hey, you never know who you'll meet along the way!

 

Thanks guys for being supportive. I will initiate NC and will not contact her from now on in my life. I will have a better life without her .

[pteromom]

I am kinda deciding on taking her back if she ever decides to. I'm learning towards the NO. As much my heart aches for it, it really does make me wonder if someone else seems better comes along she'll leave me again. If I take her back I'll always have to deal that I'm her 2nd, 3rd choice because all those other relationships doesn't work.

 

But then I think to myself am I the hypocrite of love if I don't give her a chance to grow and see what's out there? If I truly loved her I would trust her again, because after all first relationships rarely ever works, and she's young in her twenties so she's bound to try new things. Will I be able to find it in my heart to convince that this is just like a children making a mistake without intending to hurt me?

 

You don't need to even be thinking about this right now... time will change YOU as well, so if she ever does come back, she'll be different AND you'll be different, so you will decide based on who both of you are then.

 

For now - just work on moving on, and do things that fill you up and make you happy.

[Viro12]

The more I read it the more I'm filled with hate.

 

Basically, she said she loved me because she was scared to be alone in a new environment. How is that even love? How can I think the two years she had with me she loved me? How can I justify those two years of memory now.

 

 

I don't deserve at all to be called the stepping stone in her life. After all I loved her I'm the stepping stone. How can she be so cruel. She doesn't give a **** about me or my feelings.

[mummyjonno]

The more I read it the more I'm filled with hate.

 

Basically, she said she loved me because she was scared to be alone in a new environment. How is that even love? How can I think the two years she had with me she loved me? How can I justify those two years of memory now.

 

 

I don't deserve at all to be called the stepping stone in her life. After all I loved her I'm the stepping stone. How can she be so cruel. She doesn't give a **** about me or my feelings.

 

And he's finally seeing it the way we saw it...

 

Welcome to singledom and knobs buddy!

[Viro12]

Yea it took me a lot of reading to figure this out.

 

 

She didn't love me at all lmao.

 

She just used me because she had no one else

 

She's a total bitch that didn't deserve any drop of love for her

 

Forget about being friends, I'm just so disgusted by you, and from the sounds of it you don't care anyways. Why should I care?

 

**** you and your Alex, I like to see how this ends

[todreaminblue]

The more I read it the more I'm filled with hate.

 

Basically, she said she loved me because she was scared to be alone in a new environment. How is that even love? How can I think the two years she had with me she loved me? How can I justify those two years of memory now.

 

 

I don't deserve at all to be called the stepping stone in her life. After all I loved her I'm the stepping stone. How can she be so cruel. She doesn't give a **** about me or my feelings.

 

 

no you dont deserve to be a stepping stone.....you dont step on people you love.....i tread carefully when entering a relationship.....most women dont use guys as stepping stones to step to someone who they feel is better.....first relationship or not...to me...going into a relationship means going to someone you love not to go on to another relationships like this are casual and should be defined at the very beginning....before emtional attachment occurs.....and thats fine if you say casual is your style in the first place....but dont pretend its anything different like maybe pretend its love....... and then move on to someone else........that is sucky behavior......i wish you all the best.......deb

[tart6245]

Lol. This girl is cray. Run as far away as you can.

[Viro12]

The ingenius part about this whole thing is, I don't think she realized it herself.

 

She still think she "loved me".

[So.Much.Pain]

Dude, you need to start NC. Go completely dark on her. Respond to nothing! I mean, now you're telling me she's flaunting this guy in front of you?!?! Screw her!

 

Dude, you need to start making positive changes in your life. The first thing you need to do is get a new hairstyle and buy new clothes. Be styling and profiling. People need to say to you, " Damn dude! Lookin sharp!" this is going to help your self esteem.

 

Eat healthy and get plenty of sleep. Then, get to the gym, run on the treadmill and push weight. This will help you work off that stress and frustrations you're having. Plus, you'll be working on that rock hard bod that girls are definitely gonna notice. It's gonna help your self esteem when your working out in the gym and girls are looking at your six pack abs and well defined arms while they're in a spin class!

 

GO back to school. Get your Bachelor's degree. If you have one then get your Masters or PhD. Keep busy with your school work and not on what she's doing. Higher education opens up a lot more financial opportunities. So, you be able to afford that kick ass townhouse in that awesome neighbor and you'll be able to own your dream car.

 

Then, get a hobby, something you enjoy. Join a club! A cycling club, or a running club. These folks get together all of the time and travel to a ride or a mud run. Fun things. Or join a mens soccer league, coed softball, diving classes...something! Get yourself out there!

 

Then, travel! Go to somewhere you always wanted to go and do it! Save your money, make a plan, have a friend go with you and GO!!!! There's a big world outside your door And your Ex isn't it!

 

Wouldn't it be nice if one of her friends said to her one day, "Hey, didn't you used to date Viro12? I just ran into him coming out of the gym. Girl! Why did you give that up? He looks hot!!! I walked with him to his car, you know that red mustang convertible is sweet! He says his life is great but he had to go, he needed to get a few more things for his trip. He says he's leaving tomorrow for Australia for a couple of weeks. He says he's going to dive and see the Great Barrier Reef. I hope you don't mind, but I gave him my number."

 

It would be even nicer if she saw a pic of you standing on a boat in Australia and she see's that your dive partner is this hot blonde haired, blue eyed Aussie girl that looks fantastic in a wetsuit!

 

That's how you get your revenge, you lead a damn good life! A life she could get jealous of while she's working an audio-visual problem with her douche rocket "soulmate".

 

 

Probably the best reply to any post in Loveshack history EVER!! Couldn't have said it better myself. Only thing I would change is do the travelling part ALONE. The more things you do in life that bring you out of your comfort zone (skydiving), the more person you become. Get your ass to Thailand ASAP and you will come back a whole new person with NO thoughts of her whatsoever.

 

P.S.- That last paragraph was priceless Chitown. LMAO.

[crazy1234]

I think I need to explain myself better... I also have had to think a lot about it.

 

I know that I won't be with you if I have these feelings for him. It's not just a rough patch. Even if this decision becomes my biggest regret in the far future it's a chance I have to take for myself. I don't want you to wait for me, or even expect it.

 

I actually haven't started dating him fyi, I'm also giving myself at least a month to sort out my feelings about breaking up with you. I see him at work and there are moments but it's not like I ended it with you and just right away am dating him. You deserve more respect than that and my heart wouldn't be in the right place if I did that.

 

It's not like you were a crappy bf and hurt me so badly - in fact I'm sure I could have been happy with you, especially when you got your life together. But only to an extent would I be happy. I'm being selfish and wanting more. More that I didn't think I would find but somehow it's found me. I did love you. But maybe it was puppy love and not mature love. Maybe I wasn't thinking clearly because of the honeymoon. Maybe I was scared to be alone at a vulnerable time.

 

I started to feel like something was missing that I needed, that I would never be able to share with you. Something I had thought I could do without, or maybe I gave up on, but lately it's been coming back to me. I am a workaholic and I'm becoming more immersed with work just like I used to be in school - it's pretty much all of my life and not just "work" that I can check out after 6pm. I need someone who can understand work problems, and more so I want to be with someone who can guide me a little - but also make me feel I'm supporting them. And also someone who can challenge my mind and get me to think more creatively. Sure I could share ideas and things with you, but I want more than just - go for it, I'll support you. Or - that's a great idea. I want someone who will problem solve with me, throw ideas back and forth.

 

I know that all relationships have problems after the honeymoon stage or w/e. But this thing isn't as simple as oh I've fallen for this new guy and infatuated in the honeymoon stage. I wouldn't have ended it with you if it was a simple crushing on a cute guy. I can turn that off mentally very easily. Like I've said before, looks don't matter that much to me (sure it's a plus) but in the grand scheme it doesn't matter that much to me. There's just that something more I'm seeing in him that fits with what I was missing. Him and me think alike, sometimes almost like mind reading each other, but still different people. Its a feeling that I never really felt to this extent before.

 

I hate that I'm making you a stepping stone.

 

Maybe in a year or two it might turn out to be the wrong choice. But even if this turns out to be wrong, I need to try this out. I feel that strongly about it that I'm willing to part with you, as someone who is and always will be very dear to me.

 

If you still want to be friends with me later on, that would be amazing. If you don't, I will understand. It'll make me sad but I would rather you be happy. If you need to hate me to be happy then please hate me.

 

 

Is this GIGS, I feel like this isn't?

I think there's no chance of me getting her back? Is it even possible?

How do I move on from here? I'm so hurt.

Are you crazy??why would you even want her back after this distasteful msg?what was she thinking??I have nothing to say to you except this girl clearly lives life on her own terms.Eventhough I appreciate her honestly throughout.If you'r looking for closure there is nothing you will find.Cut off all contacts with her.A harsh truth about this letter is that she is willing to throw it off with u even if it holds no future for those 2 and sometimes in life we just have to accept that some things are not meant to be.My ex left me for some1 else and is already dating jst after a month of breaking up and it tears to pieces when I think that maybe he'll never regret.Maybe he'll always tell himself it was worth it.It really hurts, but like I said the sooner we accept this the better it is for us.Try to forget everything about this person cause there wont be any relief as to why she wrote this letter.Maybe guilt and felt she needed to explain herself.She respects you though bt i'd rather not tell someone all these even if i felt extreme shame.She didn't need to do this and hurt you further.Some things are better left unsaid and unheard in life.

[Viro12]

Are you crazy??why would you even want her back after this distasteful msg?what was she thinking??I have nothing to say to you except this girl clearly lives life on her own terms.Eventhough I appreciate her honestly throughout.If you'r looking for closure there is nothing you will find.Cut off all contacts with her.A harsh truth about this letter is that she is willing to throw it off with u even if it holds no future for those 2 and sometimes in life we just have to accept that some things are not meant to be.My ex left me for some1 else and is already dating jst after a month of breaking up and it tears to pieces when I think that maybe he'll never regret.Maybe he'll always tell himself it was worth it.It really hurts, but like I said the sooner we accept this the better it is for us.Try to forget everything about this person cause there wont be any relief as to why she wrote this letter.Maybe guilt and felt she needed to explain herself.She respects you though bt i'd rather not tell someone all these even if i felt extreme shame.She didn't need to do this and hurt you further.Some things are better left unsaid and unheard in life.

 

To be fair, I pushed for the truth. I'm not sure if I'm happy with what I got.

[Chi townD]

Well, that's fine. But, that letter is really telling. You now see her true colors.

[Viro12]

Well, that's fine. But, that letter is really telling. You now see her true colors.

 

I'm not angry anymore. Now I just see a stupid, selfish, pitiful girl that invented all these reasons so she can support her decisions and get over the guilt.

 

I feel kinda sad for her honestly.

 

 

The world has opened up to me, I no longer have to worry about my life plans around her. I feel a lot better. Best of all, the world just seems better without me going out of my ways to fulfill what she wants.