quacker Posted January 4, 2001 Share Posted January 4, 2001 I need a little advice. I broke up with my boyfriend a year ago,and he is now in another realtionship and just recently moved in with this girl after only knowing her for 3 months.The dilemmea is,sometimes I feel I want him back and at times have a huge desire to e-mail him to tell him this,but my pride is in the way,and deep down I know he is so bad for me,at least he used to be bad for me,but now he claims he has straightened out his life.I get lonely at times when I think about him,and know I still love him.Should I forget about it or what? Link to post Share on other sites
Paulie Posted January 4, 2001 Share Posted January 4, 2001 If you broke up with him, it's your duty to call him. Why did you break up with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Megan Posted January 4, 2001 Share Posted January 4, 2001 I dont know about this situation? I know you broke it off with him and all but I think a year may be a little late especially if he's seeing another girl. If you two still talk and he seems to still care about you then yes go ahead and tell him your feelings. However, if hes has no more feelings for you and if he has a very strong relationship with his new girlfriend then I wouldn't say anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Bummed out Posted January 4, 2001 Share Posted January 4, 2001 I really don't have any good advice but I can sympathize with you...I recently broke it off with a very wonderful man for stupid superficial reasons...I have tried to convince myself that he is not what I need in my life because of these reasons and so far it has not worked...I still miss him and think about him often...I am sure at a loss as what to do about it too... I need a little advice. I broke up with my boyfriend a year ago,and he is now in another realtionship and just recently moved in with this girl after only knowing her for 3 months.The dilemmea is,sometimes I feel I want him back and at times have a huge desire to e-mail him to tell him this,but my pride is in the way,and deep down I know he is so bad for me,at least he used to be bad for me,but now he claims he has straightened out his life.I get lonely at times when I think about him,and know I still love him.Should I forget about it or what? Link to post Share on other sites
corina Posted January 4, 2001 Share Posted January 4, 2001 What are you doing?! Why go back there! You have to realise that scenario has been played out and now its time for a new, and potentially better one! Open your life to new possibilities. I know that it is extremely hard to get over someone you've really loved, but come on - its been a year. How can it possibly help you to drag up all the old feelings. Is your real fear that you may have missed out on the 'right one', the one you want above all else? Is this because you havent happened to meet anyone else over the year? Is it just because you're lonely? Don't let your lonliness cloud your real feelings for this man. Did he genuinely make you happy when you were with him? Do you feel like you made a mistake in getting rid of him? If you feel very strongly that you might regret not telling him how you feel now for the rest of your life, then do it! You have to, to be able to get over him - regardless of the outcome. But, if you think about it carefully, and the only reasons you're thinking of going back down that road are because you're lonely, or because he has a new girl and that hurts, or because you havent found someone who measures up to him yet, then DO NOT DO IT! I've been there too, and it takes alot of inner strength to restrain yourself from telling him you want him back. But theres a happy ending to my story. I stopped comparing every man I met to him, I stopped following his life and knowing whenever he had a new girlfriend, I dampened my fond memories and affection for him until finally they went for real. And I got myself a life. As soon as I decided he was out of my life forever, he was. Its your choice. You can keep him there, debating every day whether to tell him how you feel, or you can remember the good times you had as great memories, and get on with life. Believe me, I feel so grateful now that I didnt try and get my ex back. I opened myself up for new opportunities and now I have a lovely man I would not have met if I had gone back to my ex. And yes, this relationship may end too, but it may not. And even if it does, I'll put it down to being part of me, part of the history that forms me as a person. Please think of your ex as part of your life but one that has done its time and moved on. Good luck with everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Deejette Posted January 4, 2001 Share Posted January 4, 2001 To go and an try to bust up his new relationship with the new woman is not a very kind thing to do to her or to him. It's like the kid who neglects a toy until a friend comes over and wants to play with it and all of a sudden that toy becomes the most interesting toy in the room and she wants it for herself. Don't forget, you left him. Now that you are picturing him being intimate with this new woman, you can't take it. But he has moved on from the hurt of the breakup, asa he has demonstrated. Now it is time for you to move on from it too. The timing is off for you to get back with him. If he comes back to you one day, it will be because he wants to, not because you have sent him e-mail telling him that you want him back. What are you doing?! Why go back there! You have to realise that scenario has been played out and now its time for a new, and potentially better one! Open your life to new possibilities. I know that it is extremely hard to get over someone you've really loved, but come on - its been a year. How can it possibly help you to drag up all the old feelings. Is your real fear that you may have missed out on the 'right one', the one you want above all else? Is this because you havent happened to meet anyone else over the year? Is it just because you're lonely? Don't let your lonliness cloud your real feelings for this man. Did he genuinely make you happy when you were with him? Do you feel like you made a mistake in getting rid of him? If you feel very strongly that you might regret not telling him how you feel now for the rest of your life, then do it! You have to, to be able to get over him - regardless of the outcome. But, if you think about it carefully, and the only reasons you're thinking of going back down that road are because you're lonely, or because he has a new girl and that hurts, or because you havent found someone who measures up to him yet, then DO NOT DO IT! I've been there too, and it takes alot of inner strength to restrain yourself from telling him you want him back. But theres a happy ending to my story. I stopped comparing every man I met to him, I stopped following his life and knowing whenever he had a new girlfriend, I dampened my fond memories and affection for him until finally they went for real. And I got myself a life. As soon as I decided he was out of my life forever, he was. Its your choice. You can keep him there, debating every day whether to tell him how you feel, or you can remember the good times you had as great memories, and get on with life. Believe me, I feel so grateful now that I didnt try and get my ex back. I opened myself up for new opportunities and now I have a lovely man I would not have met if I had gone back to my ex. And yes, this relationship may end too, but it may not. And even if it does, I'll put it down to being part of me, part of the history that forms me as a person. Please think of your ex as part of your life but one that has done its time and moved on. Good luck with everything. Link to post Share on other sites
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