akiljanas Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Hi guys, this is my first time posting so im hoping to find people that can give me some advice if they have been through something similar. So a quick backstory about me-im 22 and started dating around 19 ( i know people might think thats late but i wasnt ready before that ) ive had 3 relationships and have been cheated on in all three. (probably because im still a virgin ) I havent broken down though-ive always tried to learn from it and move on. I feel with all that ive been through im quite mature and know how to handle relationships. Ive been seeing this guy for almost a year. And while i was in Canada it was wonderful. I would like to add that i love this man (i havent felt for anyone the way i feel for him-he tells me its the same on his side-We communicate-we talk to each other and we work on areas that we feel need some ironing out) I had to leave the country as i was on the last stage of my immigration and now have to go through the whole process. prior to this i lived in canada for 5 years. Now that ive left, its been a little over 2 months. We talk every night on skype for 2-3 hours. Initially we would email each other but we stopped doing that as it was mostly just about how miserable we are. The immigration office in canada has been on strike (oh PAFSO you are causing millions so much pain ). So essentially im stuck here for god knows how long. he tells me he loves me and we've planned a future together. But over time ive started feeling this isnt real anymore. what we had seems like a dream. We're friends that talk everyday, but we're running out of things to say (how long can you talk to the other person? you need to have common activities-things to do-or just each others presence itf) the time difference doesnt help either. Im starting to feel lonely and abandoned. he says he feels the same way. what makes it worse is that i dont know when im coming back because of the strike. My boyfriend has been through a lot as a kid-his father was abusive and as a result he has PTSD. when i was around he would be fine and cope with it to the best of his abilities. but now that ive left hes started partying and hanging out with his friends (he used to do this before i came a long) Initially i was the one that would encourage him to hang out with his buddies-but the moment i left they started pressurizing him into seeing other women. obviously i have no affection for his friends anymore. Im glad he comes back home and tells me all this though. Point being-with how things seem to be fizzling out, and his friends being absolute morons and him trying to cope with his PTSD-theres a lot of stress. And all this stress is hiding a lot of pain. I want to know if anyone out there has been through this kind of separation before and gone through similar emotions. Does it get any better? will it go back to normal when im able to go back. will it ever stop hurting? (Also,thank you so much for reading this-some times its easier to talk to someone in a similar situation than talk to your family or friends. PS: Ive spoken to him about this as well and we both have similar views-he feels exactly as i do-Thanks guys hope i get to hear some of your stories
TMichaels Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Welcome to the forum, akiljanas. Sorry to hear about your separation. In the meantime, you and your b/f would benefit from getting your mind off your troubles and spicing up what you do have even if it's primarily Skype. There's been plenty of threads here about how to keep the spark in a LDR -- spend some time browsing or use the Search function. However, to get you started, look at this thread -- especially the last post. If you click through to the link mentioned there you'll find several pages of ideas that may be just the kind of ideas you're looking for. All the best, TMichaels
Author akiljanas Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 @TMicheals im taking a look at the link youve added and yes it is helpful-thank you
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