berkeley1987 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 so i'm doing NC. why is it that some ppl say its to get your ex back in a way and some say its not, its for you to heal? am i allowed to look at pictures of my ex? how long should i keep it up? what happens when my ex contacts me? what about birthdays and holidays? what if she wants to hang out in the future? thanks it will really help.
Soat Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Here read. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/337989-no-contact-nc-guide-long-walk-consolidated-discussion 3
Author berkeley1987 Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Because the former are stupid. You can't manipulate an ex back to you and it's going to make you pretty miserable if you try. NC is for moving on. Always moving on. I wouldn't, because it will probably interfere with the healing process. Box them up and put them away for now. Ideally, forever, or at least, until your ex specifically says "I want a second chance, let's try again." See above. Unless it's "I want to try again", you should just let it go. No. No. I hope this was helpful. but theres a problem, we both share a pet, which i got her for christmas. she asked me to take it to the vet a couple of months ago and i did. what about things like that?
lalalovekay Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Im doing Nc its my 3d day and my 3d time trying it. The first two I tried to make him miss me. But now im doing it to move on. Im still waiting for his text for his call but I think its best. Do no contact. If he doesnt come back atleast itll be easier to move on
JDPT Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Ill try to summarize with a hypothetical scenario. Your ex can call/text that she/he has recently been diagnosed with cancer (now this is where NC comes into play) you know what you should do upon discovering this? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, that's the epitome of NC in a nutshell.
Author berkeley1987 Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Ill try to summarize with a hypothetical scenario. Your ex can call/text that she/he has recently been diagnosed with cancer (now this is where NC comes into play) you know what you should do upon discovering this? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, that's the epitome of NC in a nutshell. woah! are you reading my mind?! my ex girlfriend is at the stage before cancer... she has multiple tumors and is being monitored.. her big check up is coming up. a big reason we broke up is because the stress wasn't good for her health. she weighs under 100 lbs now and i'm always worried about her..
JDPT Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 woah! are you reading my mind?! my ex girlfriend is at the stage before cancer... she has multiple tumors and is being monitored.. her big check up is coming up. a big reason we broke up is because the stress wasn't good for her health. she weighs under 100 lbs now and i'm always worried about her.. I'm very sorry and it's unfortunate that your ex is currently going through these health conditions but this is also time for you to heal from your emotional state. We will like to think we can solve it all, like I used to think with my ex and wanting to make her life wonderful but it was just impossible, I'm not Gd. Keep moving forward and focus on yourself. 1
Author berkeley1987 Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 I agree with Sengir, you can't co-parent the pet, so you might have to bite the bullet and give it up. As much as it might feel like it, it is not a child, it's an animal. Since you technically bought the pet for her, it belongs to her and you must give it up. that sucks, i'm attached to it.
reddragon588 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 The "purpose" of NC is to heal and allow you to focus on yourself. It helps you move on from the negative emotions associated with a breakup and get you back on your feet as an individual. Whether this leads to getting back together or moving on, it doesn't really matter, because if you are sticking to NC you'll be happy with either of these, whichever may happen.
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