Saw 2 couples having sex in public last night,,,kind of strange

[tbf]

Make out spots tend to draw people for obvious reasons.

 

Babolat, this is called playing with fire. Whose idea was it to go to the docks, late at night?

[Babolat]

Make out spots tend to draw people for obvious reasons.

 

Babolat, this is called playing with fire. Whose idea was it to go to the docks, late at night?

 

Hers, I was driving her home, we passed the spot, she said "Oh lets go there if you want to". I was not thinking about the intimacy of the spot, more it would be cool to go there and see the river. The water weas high and the rapids were going crazy, which I love to see, watch, hear.

 

It's not actually a make out spot, at least I never viewed it that way. It's a very public park in the city, lots of lights, where bands play, festivals are hosted, right on the river, and there is a dock/pier that goes out about 50 yards.

 

Her and I went there once back in June/July and hung out for 15-20 mins.

[Speakingofwhich]

Hers, I was driving her home, we passed the spot, she said "Oh lets go there if you want to". I was not thinking about the intimacy of the spot, more it would be cool to go there and see the river. The water weas high and the rapids were going crazy, which I love to see, watch, hear.

 

It's not actually a make out spot, at least I never viewed it that way. It's a very public park in the city, lots of lights, where bands play, festivals are hosted, right on the river, and there is a dock/pier that goes out about 50 yards.

 

Her and I went there once back in June/July and hung out for 15-20 mins.

 

You might be naive if_________(fill in the blanks!)

[MidwestUSA]

It's strange to me that this girl was cheated on by her first bf, now she's doing it with you. Hmmmmmm. She seems to have a problem with boundaries.

[tbf]

Hers

That's what I guessed. I'm uncertain why you keep dancing on her string. From reading a few posts related to her, she's a cake eater.

[Babolat]

It's strange to me that this girl was cheated on by her first bf, now she's doing it with you. Hmmmmmm. She seems to have a problem with boundaries.

 

I have thought the same....

 

What's stranger, is the girl I broke up with back in March, I had trust issues with her lifestyle....and look what I am kind of sort of doing. Though I know in my heart I could never be more intimate with this woman while she has a bf.

[Babolat]

Honest question - are you looking for a relationship?

 

Easy answer, yes.

 

My last relationship really scarred me though; I am realizing that more and more. I kept doubting myself, trying to compromise, trying to accept her as everything else was spot on about us, and it made no sense to me to end an otherwise incredible relationship because of lifestyle choices and my unwillingness to accpet her for who she was. I had issues with trust for the first time ever with a women; I never even thought about trust before in a relationship, not once. And i had no hard evidence to not trust her; just her lifestyle. All signs from her to me said she was 125% into me, I was her man, I was everything she wanted in a man, etc.

 

So, I guess I am confused and I am skeptical about my ability to see red flags. I am also trying to figure out where do I draw the line, where/when to compromise, where not to, what are my deal breakers, etc. What DO I WANT in a relationship. I never gave this much though prior to her; I guess it was moslty just understood.

 

I guess I am questioning my ability to select the "right" one now too. I have never felt this way before.

 

One of the woman I am hanging out with, she is 45, has had many LTRs, one engagement. One day she said to me "I no longer trust myself to pick the right guy; I always pick the wrong guy". Maybe that's me now.

 

One of the other woman I am hanging out with, she is 40, great morals, great values, great career, very similar up bringing to mine, I have a lot of fun with her, great body, we laugh together, we have deep intellectual talks. I am just not as physically attracted to her as I think I should be for a LTR. But then I think "stop focusing on that". She als has two kids, a very active dad in the picture, and I think "do I want to kids in my life". My last gf has a 12 year old daughter, single mom, and I was attracted to that. I was getting close to her daughter, and her to me.

Edited August 13, 2013 by Babolat

[Star Gazer]

Easy answer, yes.

 

Since when? Just the other day, you were talking about how much you were enjoying NOT looking and NOT dating.

[Babolat]

Since when? Just the other day, you were talking about how much you were enjoying NOT looking and NOT dating.

 

True

 

It is easier to not date and just worry about yourself. I think that is what I have been feeling. And I don't FEEL like i am looking, searching if you will. Maybe I am though, indirectly.

 

Spending time with her has caused me to realize I do want to be in a LTR; that I have been settling, compromising. Being with her has helped me figure out more what my type is, versus getting bits and pieces from a woman, and compromising too much on other stuff. She is my type; I honestly did not think this kind of woman was out there. She has a bf; she is not available; I get that and I am OK with it.

 

I like being with her; it feels very natural and comfortable. My last relationship, I was an anxious mess all the time. It's like "Wow, THIS is what it feels like when you are with someone you are more closely matched to, compatiable with". And yeah, it feels good, and I now know I WANT that. Yet I also don't feel like I am searching for it, spending all my energy trying to find it if you will.

 

Back on topic: because I can't afford all of the $150 an hour Psychology visits here, itt was strange seeing this the other night and I am starting to realize why.

Edited August 13, 2013 by Babolat

[Jethro]

Disgusting! That is terrible! I never want to go to this area, but to make sure can you give me specific directions and possibly GPS coordinates? And completely off topic, where the nearest place I can buy a video camera?

[Babolat]

Disgusting! That is terrible! I never want to go to this area, but to make sure can you give me specific directions and possibly GPS coordinates? And completely off topic, where the nearest place I can buy a video camera?

 

Ha! You will need a camera with night vision.

 

Thinking on this more, this area is promoted as a family area, bring the kids, come into the city to visit the park, see the water...definitely not a local make out, do your partner spot.

 

Though I did recently learn one of the local area historical attractions, an old water pump house for the city, a little off the river, in the woods, is where a lot of married men go to have gay sex with gay prostitutes, mostly blow jobs. One of my best friends is gay, I had heard this rumor, he confirmed it. He also confirned married men are the majority of the clients. Interesting.

[PogoStick]

Instead of being disgusted, why didn't you do your girl next?

[Babolat]

Instead of being disgusted, why didn't you do your girl next?

 

As she put it, it was a mood killer, and I agree. And since she is not "my girl", there will be no sex.

[Babolat]

Update: She texted me today to tell me her bf proposed to her. I told her congrats and good luck. I suggested she resolve why she allowed herself to flirt with me, talk the way she did with me, spend time with me, touch me, etc. She said she has never done this before, she is not a whore and she is very sorry. I reminded her I was fine, I did not allow myself to get emotionally attached to her, and encouraged her to figure it out before she got married.

 

We had plans to go to a concert in September. I told he that was no longer a good idea, and she said that sucks cause she likes me. My reply "Really?!"