thishatteredsymphony Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 (edited) I created the following thread just over a week ago: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/410207-rebound Okay, to make a long story short about that thread: -Broke up with my ex, nasty ending to what was a happy relationship for me -This girl I knew before meeting my ex is a really awesome friend, I used to have a crush on her -Said friend comforted me when I had my break up and since my moving home she keeps in fairly regular contact with me Now, here's what's more or less happened since... We have now hung out two times since I moved home (my other thread said we hadn't yet, but we did a couple things as friends last weekend). And today she invited me to an event next week that involves a big group of friends, but... well, turns out I'm one of only two guys in the group. The other is a mutual friend of ours. This is like a group of 12 people. I'm trying not to read too much into this but I just don't know. I honestly feel I'm having strong feelings for this girl like I did so long ago. And frankly, I feel like lately she might be reciprocating them. But this is a bit of a problem for me... I don't really want to end up in a position where this is a rebound. I don't want to hurt her and especially don't want to get hurt again so soon after my break up. I really don't know what to do. I feel like I'm moving forward too quickly. I'm definitely NOT fully over my ex yet; I still have a lot of negative feelings and I'm still so hurt by what happened. But I like hanging around this friend of mine... a lot. How can I be having feelings like this so soon after a long term relationship? Edited August 2, 2013 by thishatteredsymphony Editing some typos... I typed this out too hastily...
Philosoraptor Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 You can enjoy time with this new person, just don't lead them on. If you're not over your ex you shouldn't make it a committed relationship, but that doesn't mean you can't date and have fun. If you're asked directly where you stand, just be honest and respectful. If things go well for awhile, and your feelings for the ex subside, then you can move it more serious if you want to.
unexpectedlyhere Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 When one of my first boyfriends and myself started spending time together, and he asked me to be his girlfriend, I said I had had a crush for the past two years on another guy, it wasn't reciprocated but I still had feelings for him. He said "I'd still like to give it a try" and even though I was doubtful in the beginning it turned into the first important relationship in my life. So as long as there's transparency, don't throw something good just because it seems too soon. As it starts happening, it may make it become the right time 1
Author thishatteredsymphony Posted August 2, 2013 Author Posted August 2, 2013 I guess I will see how things go. I haven't had the best day today (made a post about it in another thread I made). If and/or when things progress with this woman, I will be sure to explain my feelings and put up boundaries so we both don't get hurt.
Xiphias92 Posted August 3, 2013 Posted August 3, 2013 When one of my first boyfriends and myself started spending time together, and he asked me to be his girlfriend, I said I had had a crush for the past two years on another guy, it wasn't reciprocated but I still had feelings for him. He said "I'd still like to give it a try" and even though I was doubtful in the beginning it turned into the first important relationship in my life. So as long as there's transparency, don't throw something good just because it seems too soon. As it starts happening, it may make it become the right time I'll agree you on this unexpectedlyhere. Before I dated my ex, I met a girl at my school who had a major crush on me. She was childish at the time and I wasn't really interested. This was late 2011. Now a year went by (2012) and my ex and I were over. I happened to run into the girl from 2011, and she matured over the year due to various events in her life. Surprisingly, she still had feelings for me and I began to have feelings for her. Its now 2013, guess who I'm dating?
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