now what do i do?

[jamie]

a while ago i posted on here about my jealousy and control problems and obsessive thinking problem regarding my boyfriend of over two years now.

 

well i have been on meds to help with this and it is helping, but the problem isn't always me now. he has a very high demanding job and has been fairly well with handling stress from his job.

 

i have told him that i do not want to be his target for reducing stress from his job. well he was on vacation for a week and yesterday went back to work.

 

needless to say he is once again caught up in his job and has very little left for me when he comes home. i try to be understanding and not demand too much, just a little communication that's all.

 

well today he bit my head off cause i was in a hurry and he had to return some phone calls which take forever, and i had to wait for him as i needed a ride from him today.

 

it just brought back all those old feelings and feelings of hopelessness. i have to be a certain kind of person for him, ya know don't ask too many questions they stress him out, don't ask too many questions about females cause he thinks i'm always jealous.

 

i basically can't ask him too much of anything anyway cause he gets too impatient with me cause i forget then ask him again. i don't know how this can work out,i just don't know if i can be what he needs me to be.

 

it really saddens me cause i love him so very much and we mostly have a good life together except when it comes to his job and the stress he brings home with it.

 

any suggestions on how to handle this situation short of leaving him? jamie

[ashesmum]

I feel for you cause I have a similar situation. you need to realize that you shouldn't need to be what he wants you to be. There's a difference between changing a little to suit the other and changing completely so they're content. You need to be content also. You need to have a serious talk with him and let him know you shouldn't be the target. If he really loves you he'll understand and realize he needs to treat you like he wants to be treated. As for leaving you high and dry for a ride, that's just inconsiderate. He needs to respect you more.

a while ago i posted on here about my jealousy and control problems and obsessive thinking problem regarding my boyfriend of over two years now.

 

well i have been on meds to help with this and it is helping, but the problem isn't always me now. he has a very high demanding job and has been fairly well with handling stress from his job. i have told him that i do not want to be his target for reducing stress from his job. well he was on vacation for a week and yesterday went back to work. needless to say he is once again caught up in his job and has very little left for me when he comes home. i try to be understanding and not demand too much, just a little communication that's all. well today he bit my head off cause i was in a hurry and he had to return some phone calls which take forever, and i had to wait for him as i needed a ride from him today. it just brought back all those old feelings and feelings of hopelessness. i have to be a certain kind of person for him, ya know don't ask too many questions they stress him out, don't ask too many questions about females cause he thinks i'm always jealous. i basically can't ask him too much of anything anyway cause he gets too impatient with me cause i forget then ask him again. i don't know how this can work out,i just don't know if i can be what he needs me to be. it really saddens me cause i love him so very much and we mostly have a good life together except when it comes to his job and the stress he brings home with it. any suggestions on how to handle this situation short of leaving him? jamie

[Deejette]

Jobs come and go, but a loving relationship is a treasure to be valued above the daily grind of making a living. This guy needs to get his priorities straight. There is always more work to be done on any job, and it a great relationship is sacrificed for the sake of a job, then maybe it wasn't all that great after all.

 

People work in order to afford their lives, they have it mixed up if they give up their lives in order to work.

I feel for you cause I have a similar situation. you need to realize that you shouldn't need to be what he wants you to be. There's a difference between changing a little to suit the other and changing completely so they're content. You need to be content also. You need to have a serious talk with him and let him know you shouldn't be the target. If he really loves you he'll understand and realize he needs to treat you like he wants to be treated. As for leaving you high and dry for a ride, that's just inconsiderate. He needs to respect you more.