How much to put up with?

[Confused]

I am a 25 yr old mother (a 1yr old daughter). I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Like most relationships, it was great at first. But then it slowly started dropping. I was just wondering how much dropping should I put up with. I'm really getting fet up with it all as it is. There's no intimacy or romance. I get a kiss (peck) in the morning before he leaves for work and one at night before bed. We have sex (he) maybe once a week. And it's only for him. Just enough to get his hoohaa's off and that's it (10 min). There is no going out together, lovemaking, holding each other, or time together. He is usually in the garage. (people might say "be glad he's home" but why should I settle for it when he wasn't like that before?) I get burnt out on doing everything around the house (even picking up after him like he was a kid). I have no friends to go hang out with. And I'm with my daughter 24/7. Only time I get alone is when I smoke a cigarette outside once in a while. I just don't see us in a relationship, more like a living arrangment. For Christmas, he said he was too busy to get me anything (even though he time to go play around for himself) and said that we would go to the mall for the after sales for me. Asked him after waiting half the day if he wanted to go to the mall... he said he was just gonna stay in the garage to go ahead without him. I was even thinkin about marriage with him ( how long does it take before you should hear something about marriage) but why even think of marriage (not that I think he wants to marry me), when we can't even have somewhat of a relationship? I've tried being romantic and hinting around, but nothing. So any information would help. Thanks for your time.

[Deejette]

You are in a difficult situation because of your daughter, who needs a father, but the relationship is not loving or fun enough for you to consider marriage. Marriage is not going to perk up the relationship. What has happened is that you have both settled for something less than love, passion, romance, and happiness.

 

Because you are both comfortable with it, you stay together. But his not even getting you a Christmas present should sound the alarms loud and clear that the fizz has gone. People who are in love spend time, effort, and energy on getting a special present for the one they love on a special occasion like Christmas. (Notice I did not say money, because it really is the thought put into the present that tells if it comes from the heart.)

 

So, have faith that you can have love in your life if that is what you want. Then, do what you can to revive him or move on. Don't settle for left-over Christmas sale items (which you did not even get either) and left-over love. You can have more!

I am a 25 yr old mother (a 1yr old daughter). I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Like most relationships, it was great at first. But then it slowly started dropping. I was just wondering how much dropping should I put up with. I'm really getting fet up with it all as it is. There's no intimacy or romance. I get a kiss (peck) in the morning before he leaves for work and one at night before bed. We have sex (he) maybe once a week. And it's only for him. Just enough to get his hoohaa's off and that's it (10 min). There is no going out together, lovemaking, holding each other, or time together. He is usually in the garage. (people might say "be glad he's home" but why should I settle for it when he wasn't like that before?) I get burnt out on doing everything around the house (even picking up after him like he was a kid). I have no friends to go hang out with. And I'm with my daughter 24/7. Only time I get alone is when I smoke a cigarette outside once in a while. I just don't see us in a relationship, more like a living arrangment. For Christmas, he said he was too busy to get me anything (even though he time to go play around for himself) and said that we would go to the mall for the after sales for me. Asked him after waiting half the day if he wanted to go to the mall... he said he was just gonna stay in the garage to go ahead without him. I was even thinkin about marriage with him ( how long does it take before you should hear something about marriage) but why even think of marriage (not that I think he wants to marry me), when we can't even have somewhat of a relationship? I've tried being romantic and hinting around, but nothing. So any information would help. Thanks for your time.

[Jaylene]

You sound very unhappy, almost depressed. I know personally that in the beginning all relationships are wonderful and full of romance adn then the comfort zone sets in, thats normal. But your boyfriend sounds as if he doesn't truely love and appreciate you the way that you deserve. The most imporatant thing in this world is you and the happiness of you and your daughter. You are very young and do not have to tolerate crap from any guy. Remember that there are plenty of fish in the sea. Prioritize your wants and needs. Writing a list of pros and cons of your relationship is also helpful. That helped me realize what a jerl my ex really was. . I used to think that I would never meet

I am a 25 yr old mother (a 1yr old daughter). I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Like most relationships, it was great at first. But then it slowly started dropping. I was just wondering how much dropping should I put up with. I'm really getting fet up with it all as it is. There's no intimacy or romance. I get a kiss (peck) in the morning before he leaves for work and one at night before bed. We have sex (he) maybe once a week. And it's only for him. Just enough to get his hoohaa's off and that's it (10 min). There is no going out together, lovemaking, holding each other, or time together. He is usually in the garage. (people might say "be glad he's home" but why should I settle for it when he wasn't like that before?) I get burnt out on doing everything around the house (even picking up after him like he was a kid). I have no friends to go hang out with. And I'm with my daughter 24/7. Only time I get alone is when I smoke a cigarette outside once in a while. I just don't see us in a relationship, more like a living arrangment. For Christmas, he said he was too busy to get me anything (even though he time to go play around for himself) and said that we would go to the mall for the after sales for me. Asked him after waiting half the day if he wanted to go to the mall... he said he was just gonna stay in the garage to go ahead without him. I was even thinkin about marriage with him ( how long does it take before you should hear something about marriage) but why even think of marriage (not that I think he wants to marry me), when we can't even have somewhat of a relationship? I've tried being romantic and hinting around, but nothing. So any information would help. Thanks for your time.