Went NC and have made it three long hard days! Have to work with ex tomorrow?! !!

[Jules6186]

Hey! I posted here a few days ago confused bc of the mixed messages I've been getting from my ex. I've been trying to play it cool and be aloof. There's a lot of background which I posted http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/409186-my-very-recent-ex-sending-me-mixed-messages-what-do-i-do It is long though which is why I suspect I didn't get much help.

 

Here's my new question. Basically, right after we broke up (like a day or two) I heard my ex was telling mutual friends he wasn't sure if he made the right decision. He texted me more than necessary which I waited hours to answer and was aloof. I saw him at a group activity (gaming) which I didn't feel I should have to give up just bc he thinks he's too anxious and in his own head to be a good boyfriend. He was sweeter than ever and thoughtful and considerate. Like the boyfriend I had always wanted. It was so confusing! He texted me again the next day, finding a seemingly stupid reason to text me (a heat advisory) and tacking on a very personal comment to it. (Wtf?) I was dumb and replied openly and normally to which, surprise surprise...after talking for a bit his responses dwindled off! No challenge. Shame on me!

 

So since then I decided to go NC for as long as I can. I'm so bad at it. Also, we share a side job but I knew only one of our shifts overlapped and I wouldn't have to see him much and not til like Saturday night. I went on a road trip this weekend and haven't contacted him. Not even played him back in words with friends which we have alllllways played. It's only been 2.5 to 3 days at this point and it's been HARD!! I don't necessarily want to text him per se. I just want to play him back on the stupid game so he remembers I'm still here! But NC is NC right? So I shouldn't...right???? Ugh, bc I want to.

 

Also! Our schedules got rearranged bc of a nearby concert (we both work at a bar) and now we work together tomorrow night. I'm serving and he's Bartending so we both will be busy but ill I've to interact with him professionally. Advice!?!? I do want him back if he's willing to try and get past his own insecurities. I won't settle for less. I just don't want to make of too easy bc that will Just land me right back where I am now but I'm really really bad at playing hard to get! Im an open book with no poker face! Advice!

 

Side note, the breakup was amicable, no bad blood. Just the sadness of not being together anymore after working so hard. Thanks!!!

[Philosoraptor]

Nothing you can do about having to work on the same shift, just keep things professional.

 

Trying to "get back at them" is not the right way to go, as the longer you focus on this person the harder it will be to move on. Revenge is just something that keeps you in the same spot versus growing and getting on with your life.