Wake Up! Try Not To Be An Idiot!

[WreckedDan]

Yas! You are getting there RIGHT NOW... when people start coming out of the woodwork showing interest in you, it's a huge sign that you are emotionally moving on... We exude energy that signals others as to our state of mind... you are now showing people you are willing to take a dip in the pool and BAM they all come running. So proud of you! Relax, enjoy, take your time and rock your own world!

 

Dan

[Yasuandio]

HELP! TODAY IS MY DAY TO BE AN IDIOT.

 

Here's what happened.

 

I had to go out to the neighborhood Office Depot, and pick up a couple things at the grocery. Mind you, I barely ever leave the house. I was coming down the main road, and stopped first at the light to make a left into my little neighborhood road that leads to my sub-division.

 

Guess who was stopped at the light coming from the opposite side? Yes, lil' Nazi, in his yet, second "convertible" Mercedes, top down, with a chick - in a babushka. As he drove past me (cause I was, of couse in the left hand turn lane, his head turned like the exorcist girl - as no one misses my red Z3).

 

When I got home, minuites later, I was mad and hurt. First mad. I know I shouldn't have done this, but I did. I rattled off a few texts. No swears or cussed - nothing like that.

 

I simply said I would appreciate it if he could take his girl out to his own neighborhood, basically.

 

Then, the text proceeded to get a bit angry. And I told him he was very mean to be sending my money to the attorney unread of to me. And I had seen him doing drive-bys, and coming into my area Starbucks, and even now coming into my area to see my Dentist.

 

I told him I am very careful to stay far away from his neighborhood. And I asked him to please stay away from my neighborhood. That it hurt me to see him with that girl.

 

I said something like it is normal and expected for both of us to move on.

 

But I also indicated that he would not like me to drive with my top down with a man in his neighborhood.

 

—-------------

OK. I was very stupid. I reacted the moment I walked into the door. It's out of my system now. But I'm crazed - like I just got hit by a Mack truck.

 

Why does he have to be on the dang corner of where I turn to my sub-division with a girl, on the one afternoon I need a dang ink cartridge?

 

Why?

 

What have I done by sending those texts?

 

Making me mad with some girl makes me want to sell this house and move out of state to tell you the truth. That's how I feel right now you guys. I don't think Alanta suburbs are big enough for the two of us, if he is going to keep coming over to my house area.

 

I am already doing a lot of my big shopping and business in another town ten miles away. But I do need to drive home. This is so outrageous to see on the darn corner where there is no other outlet for me to get to the sub-division.

 

What ye say?

 

I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my mind. I'm shaking.

 

I want someone to tell me what's going thru his mind also - even if that is dumb, please, someone, just appease me so I can settle down.

[Yasuandio]

I wasso tempted to call but I didn't. I took one of my anxity pills. I am itching all over from the anxiety. I have to go find the special pill for that issue now. OMG. I feel like I'm going crazy. Help, help, help.

[trippi1432]

Because you need to hit indifference.....because what he does or doesn't do no longer matters...because you don't need him and you don't care, you ARE you and first in who you are.

 

His mind...hmm, well let's see for the lil' nazi...it's totally selfish. I've heard it myself sitting in the car with these type men, they have no idea the flags they throw cruising memories.

 

Yas..you have deadlines....tomorrow. Time to stop letting this %ucktard %ssclown keep you from what you have to do....get to it!!

[Yasuandio]

Because you need to hit indifference.....because what he does or doesn't do no longer matters...because you don't need him and you don't care, you ARE you and first in who you are.

 

His mind...hmm, well let's see for the lil' nazi...it's totally selfish. I've heard it myself sitting in the car with these type men, they have no idea the flags they throw cruising memories.

 

Yas..you have deadlines....tomorrow. Time to stop letting this %ucktard %ssclown keep you from what you have to do....get to it!!

 

Hon I'm freaked. I'm shaking. I cannot believe this. I cannot do the deadline . I screwed myself.

 

I have to know what this means. Why did his head go around like the exerosist as he drove past me? I need to know this.

[Yasuandio]

I bought the whole damn computer for nothing yesterday. With money I could not afford to spend. Maybe the guy can give me some extra days. I cannot work when I am all stroked out like this. I am all itchy. Like hives.

[Yasuandio]

I do not think I have felt so out of my mind before. I saw him in 2010 with some chich with the top down. I'm not actually imaging them having sex together or anything. It's not a hellish thing I don't think. It's more of a space invasion thing.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

Hon I'm freaked. I'm shaking. I cannot believe this. I cannot do the deadline . I screwed myself.

 

I have to know what this means. Why did his head go around like the exerosist as he drove past me? I need to know this.

 

Hi Yaz.

 

Can you do me a favor?

 

Take a deep breath.

 

Then count to ten.

 

Then take another deep breath.

 

If you need to do it again.

 

Ok so lets chat about your asswipe x.

 

He's a dirtbag. He's doing stuff cause he's thoughtless, or stupid, or mean. But it's not about you.

 

You sound like my sister when she's cycling, she bi polar too. Kinda operating on a higher RPM? Is that happening to you now?

 

All the real life stress makes your meds not work right, you know that, right?

 

I am sorry today is so hard.

[Yasuandio]

I wat to know what a creep is thinking while they are doing something like this.

 

It makes me have a "hurt" feeling.

 

I assume that was the motive. There are millions of other routes to take. Why risk coming thru the corner where my sub-division is - miles and miles out of the way?

 

What is the purpose of this?

[It-is-what-it-is.]

I wat to know what a creep is thinking while they are doing something like this.

 

It makes me have a "hurt" feeling.

 

I assume that was the motive. There are millions of other routes to take. Why risk coming thru the corner where my sub-division is - miles and miles out of the way?

 

What is the purpose of this?

 

No purpose, just thoughtless, the world revolves around him...

[Yasuandio]

Hi Yaz.

 

Can you do me a favor?

 

Take a deep breath.

 

Then count to ten.

 

Then take another deep breath.

 

If you need to do it again.

 

Ok so lets chat about your asswipe x.

 

He's a dirtbag. He's doing stuff cause he's thoughtless, or stupid, or mean. But it's not about you.

 

You sound like my sister when she's cycling, she bi polar too. Kinda operating on a higher RPM? Is that happening to you now?

 

All the real life stress makes your meds not work right, you know that, right?

 

I am sorry today is so hard.

 

You are totally correct. I'm cycling, out of control. And itching, clawing myself bloody. I found the pill for that and took one. It should stop. I need to know why, right here on this corner I have to witness this - mile and miles away from his area - why, just blocks from my sub-division must I see him in his weekend conquerable Mercerdes with a girl in a bubushka. Why?

 

And, I need to know why his head turned like the exirsist girl as he drove by. His eyes should have been straight ahead on the road - but he kept his eyes on me - what does that mean.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

You are totally correct. I'm cycling, out of control. And itching, clawing myself bloody. I found the pill for that and took one. It should stop. I need to know why, right here on this corner I have to witness this - mile and miles away from his area - why, just blocks from my sub-division must I see him in his weekend conquerable Mercerdes with a girl in a bubushka. Why?

 

And, I need to know why his head turned like the exirsist girl as he drove by. His eyes should have been straight ahead on the road - but he kept his eyes on me - what does that mean.

 

It meant he saw you. You look good. He did not expect to see you, cause he is an emotional child.

 

Have you called your doctor? You should. Now.

[Yasuandio]

No purpose, just thoughtless, the world revolves around him...

 

Well, I'm fine with that. Why can't that happen in his neighborhood. Either by the restaurant (4 miles away) or his house (9 miles away). Why does the revolving have to be a few blocks from my sub-division? That is what I don' get.

 

He has the girl , with the top down. I mean, how could one ever feel reasonable comfortable on my only route to get in and out of my sub-division? Where there is a really really long red light?

[Yasuandio]

This psycholist doctor is not on call anymore. I gotta just get thru it. It helps me just to figure out what it means it-is-what-it-is. It didn't occur to me that he was looking at me in the car thru the window. I did look good.

[Yasuandio]

The itching is stopping. What do you think, it-is-what-is, how I told him to please stay out of my neighborhood with his girlfriend, and all the other crap I wrote?

 

At least I did not swear and get mad. Maybe a little mad. But not nasty or anything. I thing I was within my rights. He wouldn't want me parading a boyfriend in his neiborhood. (as I stated). Well - He did get a reaction out of me. But it was a "please stay out of my neighborhood" reaction. What do you think on the 1-10 idiot scale?

[It-is-what-it-is.]

This psycholist doctor is not on call anymore. I gotta just get thru it. It helps me just to figure out what it means it-is-what-it-is. It didn't occur to me that he was looking at me in the car thru the window. I did look good.

 

So he's just a child like this. (Pretend its his thoughts)

 

I need to take babushka chick for ice cream, I only know one place for ice cream. Woahhhh is that Yasuandio? Over there...in her car...boy she looks good, has she been working out? Hmmm.

Is that a bunny?

Oh gotta take babushka girl for ice cream.

 

See not about you at all

 

Have you thought about going to ER? Sounds like your drug protocol might need adjustment.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

The itching is stopping. What do you think, it-is-what-is, how I told him to please stay out of my neighborhood with his girlfriend, and all the other crap I wrote?

 

At least I did not swear and get mad. Maybe a little mad. But not nasty or anything. I thing I was within my rights. He wouldn't want me parading a boyfriend in his neiborhood. (as I stated). Well - He did get a reaction out of me. But it was a "please stay out of my neighborhood" reaction. What do you think on the 1-10 idiot scale?

 

OH WELL if you put it that way then

 

10 is walking neekid down Peachtree street at 5:00

 

1 is texting him when you should be NC.

 

This is maybe a 2. Just don't do it again.

 

I am actually more worried about your mania. So hard to control once it starts. And you haven't felt good for a little while right?

[Yasuandio]

It meant he saw you. You look good. He did not expect to see you, cause he is an emotional child.

 

Have you called your doctor? You should. Now.

 

I like this part you wrote here, it-is-what-it-is. Now that makes sense to me. That is the trouble with this illness. Sometimes basic things are difficult to comprehend. Cause it looked so bizarre to see his head turn so far around backwards when he was driving straight ahead. And it was easy for me to see this cause I was making a left turn as he went by.

 

Maybe I did look good in my little car. I got some nice big red hair going on - and it's getting really long.

 

I think it's a good idea to keep your eyes on the road - no matter what. That the way I ride. I think I'm gonna be ok.

 

He probably was just as surprised as me. He's been living dangerously coming into my territory. One of these days, he might be the one to get his feelings hurt.

 

I'm gonna be ok. I feel the migraine coming on now, which means the panic is settling down. Thank you Trippi and It-is-what-it-is. Sorry for the emergency shout out - I was in shock. I will be prepared next time. I never thought he would pull something like this. I was really shocked. I'm gonna have to take a migraine pill now. That's gonna knowk me down a few more pegs.

 

I don't know what to do about the deadline tomorrow. My head is hurting too bad to think. Maybe I can get up really early. Thanks again. Yas

[Yasuandio]

No doubt about it, I've been in mania, for a few weeks. I know when the psychiatrist is worried, he wants to see me ever 2 weeks instead of every month. I have the psychologist Tuesday's and Thrusdays. So I have pleanty of care. You helped me make some sense out of this BS.

 

I have a deadline to meet. But I have not had a computer. But got one yesterday, tax free day. But of course - I don't think I can handle it tonight.

 

The guy at the Bar Association knows that I am sick. Maybe I am going to need an extension. Or maybe I can sleep awhile, and get up early and do what needs to be done. Paperwork is always much easier for me to do than I imagine it. I have to figure out the motem. Then learn the new computer. Shouldn't be that hard. The material is already written in my manic mind.

 

When this is done, and the next paperwork projects get done, I will feel better. I just need to focus. And I cannot take my ADHD medication due to the hypertension and chest pain.

 

I have been plugging along good. I went for all those stress tests last Friday. It took all afternoon. And I was real manic at that place. The girl forgot to put my pills back in my purse.

 

As for hospitals - forget it. They just send you to the mental hospital. I cannot do that everytime I'm spased out or I'd be ther 50% of the time. Just gotta get the bull by the horns here. I know I can do it.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

Ok, I get it.

 

Just remember this is like diabetes...you wouldn't go without adjusting your sugar levels with the right amount of insulin.

 

Get some sleep, get up and work tomorrow.

[trippi1432]

I think you need to not let this man continue to pre-empt the strong woman you are Yas...keep to the deadline. Everything else is in the past...

 

Yas ("C")...You have to stop sabotaging yourself...he drove thru..so what? You have spend countless hours thinking about this..but who did you leave behind...YOU!!

 

NEVER, EVER, EVER!!!!! give up YOU for someone who does not deserve YOU!!! I recall a word from my Arabic days...punta.....that is what he is...time to get on with fixing your life..he'd prefer it if you didn't because the day you wake up might cost him $$$$.

[Yasuandio]

Maybe Im gonna go over to the cigarette place and see if my friend is there. He is a computer expert. Maybe he can stop by after work and hook this mother up for me so I don't get more frustrated.

 

You're right Trippi "M" - faster I get my brains working - faster I can do a Pro Se on him for Contempt of Court. Gotta take care of this attorney first though. I am gonna trash her. Wish me luck guys.

 

I do get a second time to responds after she responds to my initial complaint. It ain't over by far, yet. I don't wanna disappoint the investable that is working with me though. That would be a drag.

[Misadventure]

Yas, I wish I was in a better place mentally to be of any use to you..but from what I have read I can tell you this.. You are a wonderful, giving and thoughtful person.

 

You are so strong.. I read it in (most of) your posts and it really gives me hope.

 

I know what it's like to want to call the H..so badly..to hear the voice..to ask..because the why's sometimes just kill me.

 

And they kill you too especially when you have come so far.

 

So what is wrong with your motherboard?

[Yasuandio]

Hi you guys, I need to post, Im having trouble again, in mania, triggered by a letter from lil' Nazi's attorney. It threatens to take me to Court for Contempt. But they are did not check there facts. They say Mr. Nazi is concerned about his credit rating due to me being a few months behind on a mortgage, a line of credit. And property taxes on one of my homes is only half paid.

 

Here are facts as I know them.

 

1. Since lil' Nazi sends alimony 8-10 days late, the mortgage gets paid around the 11th-15th, depending on if a weekend is involved. There is never a late fee in this case. There is no report to credit companies with this method.

 

2. Line of credit - same thing. But once I did make a mistake but got the payment in one day before the last day of the month, and paid the late fee. Banker told me as long as it does not go past 30 days I'm good.

 

3. I lost my retail tenant as the worst time when $3200 property 2013 property taxes were due. Lil' Nazi owed me for 2012 taxes which I requested from him in September - but he refused. I called tax office and they arranged a payment plan for me. I made all the payments except for December - and made Final payment in FULL with no penalties on Jan. 21. It is done.

 

At first when I read the letter - I shot off an email and letter requesting proof of these unpaid items. Then last night I started getting paranoid that maybe I am wrong about some things. For instance:

 

4. I purposely held back paying one of the mortgages so I could make the tax payments, but got the mortgage paid by the 23rd, with a late fee. Again, the banker told me this was SOP, but this banker is not the mortgage company, so now I'm really worried.

 

At no time have I ever pulled this stunt except during the period I lost the tenant. I am panicking - and paralyzed. My illness is esculating - and I am afraid that I have made mistakes I'm not aware of. To even call the mortgage company tomorrow because I'm getting paranoid seems difficult to do, cause I'm worried that my "pay late" system may not be Kosher. I thought it was, why else would they have the late fee? And no late fee up until the 15th?

 

When I started getting worried last night, I worked on the "Critical Readings for Separation and Divorce" thread to get my mind off it. But today, my anxiety is outta of control, and I do not have anyone to help me, and I can't think straight. I gotta get my mind off this thing. Does anyone know if my system is ok? It is bad for this thing to happen on a weekend.

 

Up until now, since August, you'all would be proud of my efforts. I returned the gold pendant and other family heirlooms to the lil' Nazi, and have remained completely totally NC, once I realized he has no intention on reimbursing me for his 2012 taxes that I put on my Am Ex last year (big surprise). I decided, it would be hard, but me and the doggies would make it by borrowing from Peter to steal from Paul. We are almost there.

 

Even when he does his stupid drive-bys through the sub-division, I don't even need to post - we ignore it. We also no longer wait up for the knucklehead he hired to check the house in the early morning hours. Let'em have fun speculating what goes on here.

 

It's getting to been some time over 3 months - no peep from me. I given up on this nonsense. Maybe that is why now the attorney drama. I don't have money for an attorney - so I gotta deal with this BS. My problem is that I react to fast, and show my cards also. What I gotta do is simply collect the proof tomorrow, and mail it to the attorney with a nice smart cover letter. But

 

I gotta get a grip so I can leave the house to go to the bank tomorrow. It seems so overwhelming. My hair needs to be done - I got big time roots that gotta be touched up. But I do have a cute hat I could wear. I always make sure I look great when I go out. Or maybe I could do it on the phone, but I'm kinda scarred what I might learn one the phone.

 

Finally, guys, I do everything in my power to stay away from this nusence. I drive ten miles to an out of the way neighborhood to shop and do my business. I don't even fill up my car in my little area here, I will take no chance of seeing him - as there are way too many "coincidences," that have occured when I simply go to my grocery store, or to post office. I have changed up my schedule - and leave and come at odd times. I stay to myself, total NC. Why I get this static for nothing from an attorney makes me crazy. One moment, I feel everything is ok, the next moment, I'm paranoid I've done something wrong now. I am so full of anxiety. My head is pounding with migraine on top of it all. It seems just cause divorce is done, doesn't mean spouse is done punishing you. IDK, is that what's happening here? I am so happy I have LS to come to when Im having trouble coping. Thanks for listening to me. Yas

 

PS. My thing with Bar Association is under reconsideration, because I screwed up my response. They just wanted a few pages, and I put together a 115 page document that the committee didn't feel like reading apparently. I wish they would just provide some outline. The investigator told me 1 and a half pages, period - and where to send it. He also said "it's not over."

Edited January 26, 2014 by Yasuandio

[Yasuandio]

I forgot to mention, over the last six months, I've destroyed every friendship I had. Most recently, a 20 year friendship. It is a mix of frustration with the newer people I've met (like they drink too much, or lie to my face, or use me for my psychic skills), and also anger management on my part.

 

As well - I feel this need to cut all ties to the past, that is some of the logic with the older friendship. She almost moved in with me. And I panicked and plain got pis't off (for good reason) at the same time. And I told her forget it.

 

I want to sell these 2 houses and get the heck as far away as possible. That is what I want. Sort of start a clean slate.

 

Tonight, I made a mistake. I cannot afford to spend money - it is really tight, cause I don't have rental income. I should have not this - I went on eBay and got some hot boots. Dang it. That is so typical manic behavior - but I usually have it under control. I messed up. Oh well. Thank God it wasn't an antique signed Lalique crystal piece. I think I have enough Laliques on the mantle. I take my pills and go to bed before something else happens. OK. Yas

 

PS. When you get time, give the Pinned Thread some votes and Likes so they

keep it! I added a bunch of GIGS stuff on there yesterday, and some other good pinned stuff from other forums.