aisuru Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Soo... for those of you who don't know my story, these posts may help you catch up: My story (LONG): http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/390409-my-breakup-story-long About a month-ish after he broke up with me, I was told my position at work was being eliminated (I'm still there for another month): http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/390085-broke-up-6-weeks-ago-lost-my-job-today-keep-me-strong-nc Broke my own NC about two months ago: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/391468-i-broke-no-contact Ex called me and left a voice mail, but I deleted voice mail without listening and did not respond: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/399513-huh-so-ex-called-me Bumped into Ex... did he see me: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/401265-bumped-into-ex-boyfriend-just-now Now that I have all that out of the way... He texted last Friday night at 9:45pm asking how my job status was and if I was okay. I'd been growing inexplicably anxious over the course of the evening yet when I saw his text, I went calm. Peaceful. He had finally initiated contact. He was thinking of me. Checked the piece of paper I filed away to be sure it was him. And went to bed. Saturday morning, somebody knocked on my door 4 times (he lives a few blocks away). No texts from anybody saying they were going to stop by and no idea who it was because I didn't answer the door. I'm suspicious it was him, but a little shocked if it was. I have no way of knowing. Later in the day on Saturday, I responded to his text that the job situation was okay for another month or so. Didn't ask him anything. Yup, you guessed it, no follow up text since. Now, he's not a big drinker so I don't think it was a drunk text. He's not the booty call type of guy so I don't believe he reached out for that reason. I'm suspicious he was the knock on the door Saturday morning, but I'm not convinced either. My birthday is tomorrow. Will be interesting to see if he texts me or not. I'm okay either way. Strangely enough, I felt better with his random text out of nowhere. I've been doing better re: him. Not so great taking care of myself, but I blame the job situation for that. I feel like I'm in standby for the next phase of my life, but I'm okay. Not sure what I'm looking for here. Perhaps to document. Perhaps to get thoughts? I'm undecided if I'll reply or not to his next text. I imagine I'll receive another one sooner than later. But hey, right now, I'm packing for Vegas birthday weekend. Hope you all are holding your own! Breakups are that necessary evil in life, eh? I know I haven't posted much lately, but I have been lurking.
AllTooWell Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Real quick: I know you have an iPhone and I read you were having issues to delete their number. BEFORE you delete his texts I can tell you how to actually, permanently delete it. You need to have a text from your ex. Scroll to the top of your conversation, hit edit contact. Then press the red - next to his numbers and delete them that way. Then resave the contact. Go into your normal contact app and delete them as a contact. Then delete the conversation. VOILA gone he may be in your 'recent' list if you type in his name/number (it'll show up for a few days as his number with the word recent next to it) but then it'll disappear! Just thought I'd share since you can now do this, lol. I'm sorry to hear about the job stuff that you're going to. It's funny because from the outside reading this, do you realize HOW MANY other people it could be knocking on your door? Door to door salesmen, a neighbor looking to borrow a cup of sugar, etc etc etc. I think that when you break NC (cause you replied) you start reading more into it. On my birthday I'm leaving my phone at a friends. All damned day and all damned night it's gonna sit on her desk and I'm going to go out, have a good time, and collect it the next day (this also stops the drunk texts). The issue is that deep down, you do want him to text him and say happy birthday. Sure, you'll be okay either way because you've been through a lot worse now. But you still want to know that he was thinking about you. Grrrr P.S HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Have fun in Vegas and be safe!!:D
Author aisuru Posted July 18, 2013 Author Posted July 18, 2013 AllTooWell, thank you for taking the time to respond! Real quick: I know you have an iPhone and I read you were having issues to delete their number. BEFORE you delete his texts I can tell you how to actually, permanently delete it. You need to have a text from your ex. Scroll to the top of your conversation, hit edit contact. Then press the red - next to his numbers and delete them that way. Then resave the contact. Go into your normal contact app and delete them as a contact. Then delete the conversation. VOILA gone he may be in your 'recent' list if you type in his name/number (it'll show up for a few days as his number with the word recent next to it) but then it'll disappear! Just thought I'd share since you can now do this, lol. Sorry if I didn't communicate well, but while I do have an iPhone... I deleted his contact information, our texts, facetime history, and pictures a LONG time ago. When I received his text the other night, I had to find the piece of paper I'd put his info on and tucked away to confirm it was him since I never memorized his number. I'm actually not set on being no contact forever with him. I'm sorry to hear about the job stuff that you're going to. It's funny because from the outside reading this, do you realize HOW MANY other people it could be knocking on your door? Door to door salesmen, a neighbor looking to borrow a cup of sugar, etc etc etc. I think that when you break NC (cause you replied) you start reading more into it. I may be reading more into it. However, I live in a gated small complex, none of my other neighbors had a solicitor, know my neighbors and asked if they had knocked (they hadn't), and he still has the gate key to my complex. Also, he is the ONLY person in my life who has stopped by unannounced before, twice while dating, once shortly after our one and only big fight. I don't know if it was him, but the timing is suspicious. On my birthday I'm leaving my phone at a friends. All damned day and all damned night it's gonna sit on her desk and I'm going to go out, have a good time, and collect it the next day (this also stops the drunk texts). The issue is that deep down, you do want him to text him and say happy birthday. Sure, you'll be okay either way because you've been through a lot worse now. But you still want to know that he was thinking about you. Grrrr P.S HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Have fun in Vegas and be safe!!:D HA! Thank you! You are stronger than me. My phone will stay with me. I am thinking I won't respond. I won't lie, I'm undecided at this point whether I want to ever talk to him again or not. There is part of me, due to our situation and relationship, feels that we're not done. It's hard to explain. Yet, I'm okay with either outcome at this point. Bottom line, if he wanted to try again? I would try again, within guidelines and better communication between us both. So that is why I'm not going to be a complete No Contact diehard at this point. Again, I appreciate you taking the time to respond and your perspective. It's good for me to hear. I truly mean that.
youngnlove89 Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 [Yes, it was him at the door.] And the reason he texted you was because you have been ignoring him. He needed to refill his ego as it was pretty low on attention. He wanted to make sure you were still there and not mad. You cured his ego, for now. Sure, he might text you Happy Birthday, but don't respond. Gain your power back girl!
eachcomingnight Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Happy birthday I can relate to the feelings that you have - it's interesting, because I thought that my feelings of sadness were based on my loss of him and not any damage to my ego - but I found that now that I know he's been thinking about me and hasn't been interested in anyone else, I feel a lot more peaceful about things and ready to handle them whichever way they pan out. Hope that things work out for you (whatever that may entail!). Enjoy your trip.
daftpunk Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 We humans are such frivolous, predictable creatures. 1
lessica Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 Do you live off feeding your ego? I think it is a big assumption to think that this is all about attention. He probably misses her.
forgetmenot75 Posted July 18, 2013 Posted July 18, 2013 [Yes, it was him at the door.] And the reason he texted you was because you have been ignoring him. He needed to refill his ego as it was pretty low on attention. He wanted to make sure you were still there and not mad. You cured his ego, for now. Sure, he might text you Happy Birthday, but don't respond. Gain your power back girl! How do you know it was him? you'll never know...
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