I need help!!!!!!!

[sarybell]

i am 20 yrs. old and engaged to a wonderful man. he and i live together in his mother and fathers house until we can afford a place of our own. there is only one problem, he does not want to move out. he and his mother are very close, and i feel like the third wheel most of the time. just about a month ago i met someone via the net and now he wants me to come see him. he is 31 and has just last night told me he thinks he loves me. i dont have a clue as of what to do. he seems like the kind of man i have always wanted in my life, but afterall he is only typing words on a computer. another pitfall is that he lives very far away, and the fact that i love my fiance. there are a few things missing but overall he really is a good guy. I'm just wondering if the attention of another man is all that is turning my head! someone please help me!!!!!!!!!!

[Tony T]

What is causing your head to turn is that your fiance is a child. Any man who is engaged but who does not want to move away from his mama is still very much a child and hardly ready for marriage. I'm sure you love him but it takes a lot more than love to make a relationship work.

 

You also have an excellent head on your shoulder. You are correct about the practical nature of meeting people online. If you weren't in a relationship, it would not hurt to at least meet this guy and see what the scoop is. I think it would be dangerous for you to go see him and I do not recommend you do that. However, if you get into a position where he can come see you, that would be great.

 

Your biggest problem now is going to be to realize that you have fallen in love with a child, a mama's boy, and a man who may not be ready for marriage for ten years or more. If you did marry him anyway, you would find life miserable because his real wife would be his mama and you would just be there for sex. A pretty sorry predicament.

 

You would be well served by calling off the engagement, moving somewhere by yourself, and seeing if you can find a MAN for yourself.

[Pat]

You can move out if you want to by yourself. Tell your fiance you are moving with or without him. Tell him you need your own space. And when he is ready to move in with you he is welcome. Even a cheap apartment is OK.

 

Your fiance' sounds like a little ninny who needs his mommy. Are you sure you are ready to be married?

 

If you even have a shred of doubt, you need to move out and find the answer for yourself. If you don't have a job, get one.

[Deejette]

But the part about falling in love over the internet is a little crazy, because you really don't know anything about the internet guy except for his words. It is not really based in reality.

You can move out if you want to by yourself. Tell your fiance you are moving with or without him. Tell him you need your own space. And when he is ready to move in with you he is welcome. Even a cheap apartment is OK. Your fiance' sounds like a little ninny who needs his mommy. Are you sure you are ready to be married? If you even have a shred of doubt, you need to move out and find the answer for yourself. If you don't have a job, get one.