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Posted

my wife is 29 i am 46 and we have a 3 year old daughter. my wife is south african but let when she was 7 or 8. she returned this year to see her family and when she came back she said she wanted a divorce. i later found out that she had spent a lot of time with a younger guy over there. she says the spark has gone from out marriage and while she never cheated on me, she said that her and the guy had chemistry. i have asked if we can try to salvage something, she reluctently agreed but need advice......

Posted

Find yourself a good counselor ASAP. Do not push her or be clingy through this period. Do not come off as desperate.

 

Good luck.

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Posted

i contacted a counsellor and im waiting for appointment, my wife reluctently agreed to come. thanks for that simple advice. do you have any experiences you could share......

Posted

My issue is quite different to yours, so I have nothing to share that is relevant.

 

Hopefully the counselling session will help. I'd be trying to get her on board with making a real effort in trying to reconnect, and sort out whatever it is that's going on in your marriage. Easier said than done, obviously.

 

I already advised not to smother her, or come off as desperate - I think this is the main thing you can do now. Remain calm, be logical, and hope for the best. Also try to acknowledge and accept the fact that it may not work out, as hard as this is.

 

You could also look into implementing some of the advice in the following thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/separation-divorce/314882-180

 

Combine that with what your marriage counsellor says, and map out your own plan of action tailored to your relationship, and what you think fits for you.

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