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New girlfriend has stretch marks on stomach

everlongdrummer

By everlongdrummer
in Physical Fitness, Health & Weight Management

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everlongdrummer Member

everlongdrummer

Posted
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Hi guys,

 

This morning I slept with my girlfriend and due to it being morning I was able to see her fully naked for the first time. I notice she had some light stretch marks on her lower stomach area, but no where else on her body. She's not overweight but not skinny either. She's 28 and I've never been with a girl with these types of marks. My first thoughts were "holy ****, she's got a kid" and I want to ask her about it without sounding like a douche, as I'd need to know about her situation before deciding to keep on dating.

 

Are stretch marks only made by pregnancy?

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
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Nope.......

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Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Posted (edited)
Are stretch marks only made by pregnancy?

 

No. I have very light ones on the outside of my hips and inner thighs that popped up the year I grew 4 inches in height.

 

People get them from growth - in height, in weight, etc.

Edited by Star Gazer
Typo.
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everlongdrummer Member

everlongdrummer

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Ok, I don't want to sound shallow here either. I honestly had no idea about what causes it. I've just seen so many post-pregnancy images with the same marks so I naturally assumed.

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
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Hi guys,

 

This morning I slept with my girlfriend and due to it being morning I was able to see her fully naked for the first time. I notice she had some light stretch marks on her lower stomach area, but no where else on her body. She's not overweight but not skinny either. She's 28 and I've never been with a girl with these types of marks. My first thoughts were "holy ****, she's got a kid" and I want to ask her about it without sounding like a douche, as I'd need to know about her situation before deciding to keep on dating.

 

Are stretch marks only made by pregnancy?

 

I dont get it??

 

Stretchmarks or not..Its a completely normal question that frankly ANYONE man or woman would ask the other person while getting to know them..It would be no less personal than asking what they do for a living..Why would you think its a d-bag move to ask if she has any kids?? (shrug)

 

TFY

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Balzac Established Member

Balzac

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Curious, pregnancy but adopted out child. Pregnancy resulting in infant death.

 

Deal breakers?

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everlongdrummer Member

everlongdrummer

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Girls are conscious about their looks so I wanted to ask her without making her feel uncomfortable.

 

In regards to the possibility of her having kids at some stage. It depends, she's from another country so if she's had a kid and the kid still lives overseas, that opens up whole level of complications I don't want to deal with.

 

Pregnancy but adopted out child, pregnancy resulting in infant death - I'd be more understanding, definitely not a deal breaker.

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Dread Pirate Roberts Established Member

Dread Pirate Roberts

Posted
Posted
Hi guys,

 

This morning I slept with my girlfriend and due to it being morning I was able to see her fully naked for the first time. I notice she had some light stretch marks on her lower stomach area, but no where else on her body. She's not overweight but not skinny either. She's 28 and I've never been with a girl with these types of marks. My first thoughts were "holy ****, she's got a kid" and I want to ask her about it without sounding like a douche, as I'd need to know about her situation before deciding to keep on dating.

 

Are stretch marks only made by pregnancy?

 

You can get stretch marks from gaining weight and losing it, especially recurring over time. Also, if she had a kid, why don't you know about it yet? lol

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Infinity0 Member

Infinity0

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Omg don't ask her it's totally normal! My ex bf had stretch marks behind his knees!! He grew suddenly in High School. I've never had kids but I have some light ones on my lower stomach because growing up I kept gaining and losing weight. It's totally normal unless they are really visible then I don't know maybe she had twins lol

 

for god's sake don't ask her!!! kind of just look at pics of her from childhood and see if she was a chubby kid :)

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sillyanswer Established Member

sillyanswer

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Are stretch marks only made by pregnancy?

 

I have stretch marks on my back. I'm a guy. So, no.

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umirano Established Member

umirano

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If a guy asked me about stretch marks I'd dump him on the spot and never speak to him again. If she really is your girlfriend, you'd know if she had a kid. Leave it alone. They're probably from a growth spurt or from gaining or losing weight. Lots of people have them..I have them and I don't have kids.

 

Are you serious? How come your BF couldn't talk to you about your body? I'm glad I can ask my GF about anything, and so can she. It seems very materialistic to me to have stretchmarks as a taboo. It's a natural things, all natural things shouldn't cause any discomfort. Same thing with weight or hair color, or hair density (e.g. in men).

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therhythm Established Member

therhythm

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Are you serious? How come your BF couldn't talk to you about your body? I'm glad I can ask my GF about anything, and so can she. It seems very materialistic to me to have stretchmarks as a taboo. It's a natural things, all natural things shouldn't cause any discomfort. Same thing with weight or hair color, or hair density (e.g. in men).

 

I agree and disagree... you should always have the freedom to speak to each other about each others bodies but you always need to take care of the insecurities that your comment may create on the other person.

How would you like it if you girlfriend would tell you how she thinks your penis is really small? It is a part of your body right?

People should have freedom but also tact when speaking bout other peoples body because our bodies are one of the things that make us most insecure of ourselves.

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umirano Established Member

umirano

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I agree and disagree...

Pretty much my LS predicament too...

 

How would you like it if you girlfriend would tell you how she thinks your penis is really small? It is a part of your body right?

People should have freedom but also tact when speaking bout other peoples body because our bodies are one of the things that make us most insecure of ourselves.

 

Well obviously there are things that can be said, about pretty much anybody's body (latest at a greater age) that aren't so nice to hear. It's about tact. And necessity. Stretchmarks could indicate a childbirth. Which is an important issue. Small penis too, unfulfilled sex life is bad.

 

My GF isn't exactly petite, but I love her and it doesn't bother me, I don't make her feel insecure about it. Recently she found a grey hair on my head, didn't make me feel great but when she said something about it I wasn't offended and dumped her. Wouldn't dream of doing something like that. People need to chill. Bodies age, life is tough and leaves marks. It's cool. Some people look good, some look ok, and some are just ugly mofos... That's not the end of the world. If you look at the whole thing and don't chose your SO solely based on looks, these things shouldn't be that big of an issue.

 

My $ 0.02

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therhythm Established Member

therhythm

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Pretty much my LS predicament too...

 

 

 

Well obviously there are things that can be said, about pretty much anybody's body (latest at a greater age) that aren't so nice to hear. It's about tact. And necessity. Stretchmarks could indicate a childbirth. Which is an important issue. Small penis too, unfulfilled sex life is bad.

 

My GF isn't exactly petite, but I love her and it doesn't bother me, I don't make her feel insecure about it. Recently she found a grey hair on my head, didn't make me feel great but when she said something about it I wasn't offended and dumped her. Wouldn't dream of doing something like that. People need to chill. Bodies age, life is tough and leaves marks. It's cool. Some people look good, some look ok, and some are just ugly mofos... That's not the end of the world. If you look at the whole thing and don't chose your SO solely based on looks, these things shouldn't be that big of an issue.

 

My $ 0.02

 

Ohh don't get me wrong, i do agree with you, I just think people need to be tactful when speaking about other people body. ;)

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Arabella Established Member

Arabella

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I wouldn't be offended if my SO asked this IN A TACTFUL MANNER.

 

Like your girlfriend, I also have stretch marks on my stomach. I got them because I used to be very obese, and I lost 170 lbs. Some portions of skin never quite look the same after that, you know?

 

When I first got with my man (now fiance), he saw them and later told me it turned him off a little but that soon afterwards it didn't matter to him anymore. I was hurt beyond words. I just thought: "Really man? You had to say it that way?". Anyway... we moved past that lol

 

If you really just must know... next time you have sex in daylight, start kissing her body and when you get to her stomach, kiss it and suddenly "notice" the stretch marks and make some innocent comment. Something along the lines of: "Oh, these are the cute. How did you get them?".

 

No matter the answer, keep a straight face and move on with the kissing!

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Els Established Member

Els

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I don't see how it's impossible to talk about past history (kids, partners, etc) WITHOUT mentioning the stretch marks. After all, kids are your concern, not the stretch marks.

 

Or is it the other way around...?

carhill Established Member

carhill

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Are stretch marks only made by pregnancy?

 

I've been with single mothers and was married to a childless woman for ten years and have seen no commonalities between pregnancy and stretch marks.

 

IMO, a shift in focus away from particular physical aspects, generally out of the control of the person, would be beneficial if in an otherwise loving relationship. With sufficient intimacy, answers about many subjects and internal questions will come.

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Eddie Edirol Established Member

Eddie Edirol

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OP your bigger concern would be seeing if this woman youre sleeping with actually has a kid and how long is she going to wait before devulging this info. She might be trying to get you attached to her first before telling you to avoid getting dumped early. So if the situation might bother you, you might have to just ask her straight out, not even mentioning the stretchmarks. Hopefully the marks are just from weight loss.

AutumnRose1974 Member

AutumnRose1974

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Are stretch marks only made by pregnancy?

 

NO, they are NOT. :mad: Those of us women who have battled weight problems for a long time will have them. And some of us have managed to turn that around to the point where we are strong enough to knock men like you on your keister for making an issue out of something that doesn't matter one iota in the overall scheme of a relationship. ;) *I* may have stretch marks, but I also have very powerful, well-muscled legs from all the cycling I've been doing over the past 3 years.

AutumnRose1974 Member

AutumnRose1974

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If a guy asked me about stretch marks I'd dump him on the spot and never speak to him again.

 

QFT!!!! I would too!

AutumnRose1974 Member

AutumnRose1974

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Are you serious? How come your BF couldn't talk to you about your body? I'm glad I can ask my GF about anything, and so can she. It seems very materialistic to me to have stretchmarks as a taboo.

 

And I for one think it is very shallow of the OP to focus on the fact that his gf has stretchmarks. If a guy did that to me, I would start wondering what else he is going to be nit-picking on where I'm concerned. If you're going to have a real relationship with someone, you take them as they are.

 

Also, FYI, before being physically intimate with each other, they should have already discussed their lives to the point where the OP would know whether or not she had a kid or not.

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CarrieT Established Member

CarrieT

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Are stretch marks only made by pregnancy?

 

I have never had children and I have stretch marks. I got them in my early teens because I grew into a woman VERY fast (I went from a B-Cup to a DD-cup inside of 6 months).

 

And, as other have mentioned, I also got very fat in my late 20s and procured more stretch marks. But not by ever having a pregnancy.

umirano Established Member

umirano

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And I for one think it is very shallow of the OP to focus on the fact that his gf has stretchmarks.

 

Does he? I think it was more of like "She has stretchmarks, I know pregnancy causes stretchmarks. Are there other causes of stretchmarks? Let's ask LS". Nothing wrong with that.

 

If a guy did that to me, I would start wondering what else he is going to be nit-picking on where I'm concerned.

Assume your guy has a (ugly?) scar across the back. You probably will wonder where it comes from. Because our body and our story usually are linked. You'd want to bring it up. How would you, without mentioning the scar? All I'm saying is, that it should be possible to bring up body marks or body features (politely and with tact) without getting dumped. Well, I don't think I would dump my GF for asking an honest question in a polite ant tactful manner anyway. But each to their own.

 

If you're going to have a real relationship with someone, you take them as they are.

That doesn't prevent partners from openly and politely asking questions about their bodies.

 

Also, FYI, before being physically intimate with each other, they should have already discussed their lives to the point where the OP would know whether or not she had a kid or not.

I see it the same way.
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Phoe Established Member

Phoe

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Stretchmarks just come from a part of the body growing too rapidly for the skin to accommodate.

 

Men and women, and just about any part of the body.

 

 

Hell, I have 2 or 3 light stretch marks on the upper part of my inner arms, like right near my armpits. No idea how that happened! haha

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Eddie Edirol Established Member

Eddie Edirol

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And I for one think it is very shallow of the OP to focus on the fact that his gf has stretchmarks. If a guy did that to me, I would start wondering what else he is going to be nit-picking on where I'm concerned. If you're going to have a real relationship with someone, you take them as they are

 

Talking about shallow eh?

 

One thing that grosses me out is unclipped toenails. First off, I don't want to get scratched, and secondly I don't want to find any broken off ends from them catching in the bedsheets.

 

All I expect is, whatever you have, keep it neatly groomed (nails clipped, teeth brushed, ears clean, etc.) And, yes, I am only into guys who keep themselves in some semblance of shape. Don't have to be Atlas, but they can't be couch potatoes with beer weight either.

 

This came from you in the other thread. So no one can ask you about your stretchmarks, but you can make demands about toenails and beer weight? You have standards for grooming as well. Sound pretty nit picky to me. You have shallow standards just like everyone else, so the OP is allowed to ask and be concerned about his gf's stretch marks if he so chooses, and he is no more shallow than anyone else.

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