Ditching a girl to make her crazy for you

[eastcoastgirl88]

This would only work if the girl was excited to go out in the first place.

 

If a guy did this to me and I was indifferent to begin with, I'd probably just blow him off.

 

Don't do it lol.

[ChessPieceFace]

Well, I guess one advantage is that you could schedule 100 first dates a month and blow them all off. Not much time investment required, and maybe it would work with some of the girls. I still think it's a bad idea. But I've never even attempted online dating.

[tbf]

If you believe that this will work for you, go for it. Just be aware that with every action, there are consequences of which flaking appears to be a well known hook strategy.

[henderson14]

I've seen this pop up a few times throughout this forum, and I've always wanted to try it. Specifically pertaining to OLD because that's the way I meet most of the women I date or try to date.

 

It seems like the idea is to plan a first date with a girl, and then flake at the last minute without being super apologetic or genuine. Apparently the girl will almost definitely want to see you again soon and when you see her, she'll be more willing to hook up and stuff like that.

 

I think I understand the theory. By ditching a girl, you're planting a seed of insecurity in her mind and she'll feel the need to justify herself to you. So she'll be even more willing to see you and want to impress you, which is prime for getting what you want.

 

 

I have a major problem with this though. I get ditched on my first dates at an incredibly high rate. I'm usually very upfront with trying to meet someone within a couple days of talking to them. This is because I've spent weeks talking to girls and still had them flake on me, so it's all about maximizing the time I put into things.

 

I'm at the point where I expect to get ditched. I expect to get that "I'm not usually like this but I'm really not feeling well today" text five minutes before leaving the house. Well, maybe I don't expect it, but it certainly doesn't catch me off guard! So because probably over 50% of my dates cancel on me for the first time, I'm hesitant to cancel on them.

 

That first date is elusive, and I can't imagine turning it down. I may start trying it consistently to see if it works, but in the past it has just led to me getting shut out for good. I mean, women are already super sketchy about meeting a stranger who's outside of their comfort level... so ditching them is just doing them a favor and letting them off the hook so to speak.

 

Any tips?

 

Thats a stupid idea. Its not going to make her insecure because you haven't even met her yet, so its impossible to take it personally. She doesn't even know who you are! For all she knows you could be some online predator or crazy. She would probably just think you were a flake.

 

There is some truth to your theory of insecurity, but your just not intelligent enough to know how to pull it off.

[henderson14]

and good looking men get away with it, meanwhile every time i make a mistake its revolting to women.

 

Having money or just having things going on for you also helps. Looking good isn't overwhelmingly important with women.

[brandnew2]

There is some truth to your theory of insecurity, but your just not intelligent enough to know how to pull it off.

 

Oh, the irony!

 

Anyways, thanks for the constructive replies guys. This pretty much confirms what I was already thinking about the whole method. It would probably work a lot better with someone you've met out already and is really into you to begin with. Of course, if that was the case I would have no incentive to actually ditch them! Haha.

[Star Gazer]

Hey,

 

It is true to an extent. What you described above would send a signal to the girl that she isn't on a pedestal. It would definitely pique her curiosity especially if she isn't used to this. However, if you are a jerk about it, she might lose interest (if she is a mature woman who knows what she wants I.e looking for a serious relationship). When a woman knows what she wants, she looks out for red flags during the dating period. Flaking might be one of them.

 

Some women go on to date guys with red flags beacuse emotions are very complicated and often illogical.

 

The truth is: human beings are generally curious. This curiosity is piqued when there is unpredictability. Like I wrote earlier, if the guy is a jerk about it, he is likely to put some women off.....and ironically turn some "girls" on.

But generally speaking mystery is very powerful. Flaking (in a respectable way AND if she has some intererest) will get most women thinking- "Hmm why did he cancel"? "Is he seeing someone"? "Did he meet someone"? "Is he not interested"? Bla bla.

 

The intended effect would only occur for an emotionally weak, desperate woman.

 

Anyone with any semblance of pride, or backbone or love for oneself wouldn't be curious - she'd just move on.

[KungFuJoe]

Whoever this "tactic" worked on...I would run away from as fast as I possibly could because this person would have to be seriously deranged. I'm talking boil your bunny insane.

[Estate]

I've seen this pop up a few times throughout this forum, and I've always wanted to try it. Specifically pertaining to OLD because that's the way I meet most of the women I date or try to date.

 

It seems like the idea is to plan a first date with a girl, and then flake at the last minute without being super apologetic or genuine. Apparently the girl will almost definitely want to see you again soon and when you see her, she'll be more willing to hook up and stuff like that.

 

I think I understand the theory. By ditching a girl, you're planting a seed of insecurity in her mind and she'll feel the need to justify herself to you. So she'll be even more willing to see you and want to impress you, which is prime for getting what you want.

 

I have a major problem with this though. I get ditched on my first dates at an incredibly high rate. I'm usually very upfront with trying to meet someone within a couple days of talking to them. This is because I've spent weeks talking to girls and still had them flake on me, so it's all about maximizing the time I put into things.

 

I'm at the point where I expect to get ditched. I expect to get that "I'm not usually like this but I'm really not feeling well today" text five minutes before leaving the house. Well, maybe I don't expect it, but it certainly doesn't catch me off guard! So because probably over 50% of my dates cancel on me for the first time, I'm hesitant to cancel on them.

 

That first date is elusive, and I can't imagine turning it down. I may start trying it consistently to see if it works, but in the past it has just led to me getting shut out for good. I mean, women are already super sketchy about meeting a stranger who's outside of their comfort level... so ditching them is just doing them a favor and letting them off the hook so to speak.

 

Any tips?

 

It's a terrible theory.

 

The only way a girl will chase is you you REALLY made her invest in you in your messages, which is so hard when you're not talking face to face.

If you can do that, then flake then yeah, maybe she'll be curious... but 99% of guys only send lame conversation "Oh waht do you do", online and 99% of girls will have an inbox full of the same and won't need to care where you went.

 

The idea of pushing and pulling works but it's more like a playful push, telling a girl she's nerdy or something but then tell her you kinda like nerdy girls.

 

Some guys take this literally and just drop a girl or flat out insult her as their "push" but if she's not SERIOUSLY invested in you she won't give a crap and will move on.

[Star Gazer]

Whoever this "tactic" worked on...I would run away from as fast as I possibly could because this person would have to be seriously deranged. I'm talking boil your bunny insane.

 

That's the only type of woman men who engage in this sort of crap are able to nail down. So, it works for both of them.

[Star Gazer]

If she's sufficiently attracted to you there's no better way to make her crazy for you than a little benign neglect.

 

And how does a woman become sufficiently attracted to a man she's never met who's vaguely and impolitely flaked on her?

 

SMH

[KungFuJoe]

If she's sufficiently attracted to you there's no better way to make her crazy for you than a little benign neglect.

 

If she's sufficiently attracted to you then there's no need for any of this bs.

[KungFuJoe]

Oh I disagree. Having someone chase after you like some sort of addict is hugely stimulating.

 

If you're an immature child...sure.

[fiftyofsomethin]

So I'm the dumbass who doesn't know what OLD is.

 

Aside from an adjective to describe an aged thing.

[fiftyofsomethin]

It's an online mental mastrubatory tool for women.

 

I have a strong feeling that's a joke and I honestly don't know lol.

[Estate]

I guess I'm a weirdo because when someone flakes on me like that I next them and genuinely don't care afterwards. I have never done that to a guy either.

 

This tactic will work on girls with insecurity or low self esteem issues and Ive met many women that fit that prototype

 

Why do you prey on such women? Guys here are so creepy... they love when a girl has "problems" to be the white knight... it's so creepy.

Why not go after a quality girl.

[Star Gazer]

Why do you prey on such women? Guys here are so creepy... they love when a girl has "problems" to be the white knight... it's so creepy.

Why not go after a quality girl.

 

I believe ang is a female.

[Southern Cal Dude]

I believe ang is a female.

 

 

She is. And games stop being cute around 20.

[Estate]

Why do you like riding horses? Why not go after a unicorn.

 

I'll go for the unicorn once I locate the mythical beast.

 

Ugh... you guys are so full of self loathing and pity and you wonder why decent girls will not date you... seriously?!?!?

[Southern Cal Dude]

Ugh... you guys are so full of self loathing and pity and you wonder why decent girls will not date you... seriously?!?!?

 

 

I wouldn't even want to have dinner with them.

[Southern Cal Dude]

Decent, self confident girls are generally physically unattractive. I don't know if you've noticed but the women with the most confidence are the BBW fat is fabulous crowd.

 

 

They have nothing to lose. They'll get no where unless they make a move.

[KungFuJoe]

Decent, self confident girls are generally physically unattractive. I don't know if you've noticed but the women with the most confidence are the BBW fat is fabulous crowd.

 

LOL...you just making this stuff up as you go or what?

[Estate]

Decent, self confident girls are generally physically unattractive. I don't know if you've noticed but the women with the most confidence are the BBW fat is fabulous crowd.

 

Warped view on the world guys... seriously...

It's Saturday evening... I'm off out to meet some of those "miserable self loathing attractive girls"

[KungFuJoe]

Warped view on the world guys... seriously...

It's Saturday evening... I'm off out to meet some of those "miserable self loathing attractive girls"

 

Won't matter, bro...those women only want the top 1% of the male population. You don't look like Ryan Gosling? Prepare to get friendzoned.

 

Unless you ignore them...then they'll come running.

 

/sarcasm

[Southern Cal Dude]

Won't matter, bro...those women only want the top 1% of the male population. You don't look like Ryan Gosling? Prepare to get friendzoned.

 

Unless you ignore them...then they'll come running.

 

/sarcasm

 

 

Ryan Gosling isn't even good looking. Without fame, hes a nobody. Someone like Ricky Martin(if he was straight), Gabriel Aubry, or Channing Tatum would be fine even without fame.