Mom's Mad at Everything I do

[Lisa_Lisa]

I still live at home and I'm 34. I pay my mother about $300 plus I pay for the cable and the internet. I own my own car and pay for the insurance. I work a full time 9-5 job and am currently in school to become a real estate agent. I'm embarrassed by still living at home, but I choose to be here 'cause I can save a butt load of money (since I want to put a down payment on a home).

 

My mother gets mad at me all the time, too. Mostly 'cause I like keeping to myself when I get home. And whenever we have a conversation it usually starts off normal and then we get into a yelling match. She'll criticize me for my flaws. I have no patience for her because it ends up with her telling me what to do or how to live my life.

 

She has no respect for my things (she'll throw things away she thinks I don't use or need) or my time (wants me to take her out almost every weekend, like I'm her boyfriend or something) and doesn't care about my money (turns on her air conditioner but won't let me turn on mine till I go to sleep, but wants to make me pay for half of the electricity bill). Uggh.

[Arabella]

Becuz its a waste of time, money, etc. You invest a lot of money and end up in debt, then you get a degree, and then you still don't got a job. I know too many people with degrees and no job. So see waste of schooling.

 

Yeah, you're right... in addition to a degree, you need motivation.

 

If all those people you know who have degrees but no jobs are as unmotivated as you are, it's no wonder they are unemployed!!

 

I went back to school at 25 and I got my first permanent job related to that career a year before I even graduated. Then the month before I graduated, I got another job with a 20% increase over my prior salary.

 

No wonder your mother is pissed off. You sound like you're not willing to do anything to succeed.

[Rosearm]

Get off your lazy ass. Your 26 and still at home and clearly not doing your share of the work. So yeah your mum is pissed off about it.

[napy666]

Even if I made 1 million dollars a day doing nothing she would still hate my guts.

[snowflakes88]

Of course she's annoyed. You're lazy, and a mooch. Seems like all you do is sit around and try to meet men on the internet while she takes care of you. I'd be annoyed too. You should be grateful she hasn't kicked you out yet - I would have.

 

Do you have any goals for yourself, other than being some guy's long distance girlfriend?

[napy666]

Yes I have goals I want to do what I am doing right now writing for magazines, newspapers, websites, but get paid for it making 20,000 or more.

[SuperGeek]

Then just start doing it. You'll need to work your ass off though. Making a living as a writer is not easy.

 

You are smart not going into massive debt getting a degree.

 

However an education is still a good idea. Just go to a public school in the US and apply for grants. You can get 5k a year if you're poor to go to school, which should pay for most tuition at a public university. In fact, go to a community college for your first two years as it will almost be free with the grant money applied.

 

Private schools are a waste of money/debt if you didn't get a schlolarship or get into MIT, Harvard, etc. Public school is all you need and after a few years of working nobody gives a crap where you went to school anyway.

 

Also 20,000 a year isn't that much. That's like $10/hr which you can make working at Walmart.

 

SuperGeeek

 

Yes I have goals I want to do what I am doing right now writing for magazines, newspapers, websites, but get paid for it making 20,000 or more.

[Eve]

Yes I have goals I want to do what I am doing right now writing for magazines, newspapers, websites, but get paid for it making 20,000 or more.

 

Share a flat? That's how most start out, unless parents can help financially to rent or purchase somewhere.

 

If mum was mean before then there is no difference and this could be really unhealthy for you to actually be back at home. If there has been a change maybe she is just meaner now because she wants space? In my world I wouldn't be mean though, just concerned but assertive.

 

Personally I don't know how you can take not being independent at your age.

 

Build up confidence and leave. You may not earn a fortune but challenge is good for you.

 

I have a daughter coming up to being a couple of years younger than you and she has been home twice since finishing Uni. Both times were for a month to recuperate, find suitable employment and then she moved on again. Mums should be there really to boost confidence, feed favourite meals and to watch and rewatch Ryan Gosling films with.. then you move on. That sacred structure works best methinks if time limited.

 

Too much time and the young adult can revert back to all that teen stuff which for most was annoying enough the first time around.

 

You have to move on and take risks. Start looking. You really need to be with peers, living your life.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[WhiteChocolate]

Even if I made 1 million dollars a day doing nothing she would still hate my guts.

 

You'd be surprised how other people treat people with money. I'm sure that she would be 100% sweet, 100% of the time

[HokeyReligions]

Yeah yeah yeah I keep trying and nothing works. I am not gona sit on my ass all day applying for jobs I did that once and never got a job so I'm not gona do it again.

 

No wonder your mom is mad at you. She probably feels really bad about herself and her apparent failure as a parent.

 

So have you looked into any state institutions where you could move? You might have to sign some commitment papers but it may be an opportunity to get away from your poor mother.

 

IMHO the word "lazy" strikes a nerve with you. ARE you lazy? Some people are really late bloomers. Maybe you are finally experiencing growing pains. You do the same things or chores you did, in the same way you did them since you were in your early teens and think that's enough. Some of your anger may be that you are feeling unfulfilled but lack the maturity to change yourself.

 

Its past time to grow up.

[HokeyReligions]

Yes I have goals I want to do what I am doing right now writing for magazines, newspapers, websites, but get paid for it making 20,000 or more.

 

There is no job out there that won't help with your writing. I took whatever job I could get and took pride in it, to support meself and my family. I put myself thru school and every single experience - good and bad- added to my writing. Especially when what I was doing had nothing to do with writing.

 

Get off your lazy attitude and get a job. Any job. Do it well and apply it your future as a writer.

[Arabella]

Making a career as a writer is extremely difficult... writing jobs aren't abundant and there are many people out there who can write, AND have an education.

 

If you want to compete with them, you're going to need to at least as good as they are, in an employer's eyes.

 

Go to school, at least for an Associate's degree in English, Communications, Public Relations or something of the sort. Not only you will get better at your writing, but you will get a legitimate way of saying "Yeah, I'm a professional writer".

 

Also start putting together a portfolio with the writing you've previously performed and write up a professional resume.

 

Once you have these three things: degree, portfolio, resume, you will be far more likely to actually be taken seriously. For now, what are you, aside from a wannabe? You're going to have to do better than that.

 

-A

[napy666]

Most writing jobs REQUIRE that you have a car, license, and can drive in order to cover events and stories for that magazine or newspaper or website. I can't stay at home and work like I am now.

[HokeyReligions]

Most writing jobs REQUIRE that you have a car, license, and can drive in order to cover events and stories for that magazine or newspaper or website. I can't stay at home and work like I am now.

 

Well one thing your are really good at is justification and excuse. And you don't need any tools other than a negative attitude.

[napy666]

What you mean tools?

[clia]

So, what is your Plan B? You are already 26 years old. When do you plan to move out of your parents' house?

[Arabella]

Most writing jobs REQUIRE that you have a car, license, and can drive in order to cover events and stories for that magazine or newspaper or website. I can't stay at home and work like I am now.

 

And this is a problem why? Get a license, a cheap car, and off you go.

 

Stop making excuses for being lazy.

 

-A

[SuperGeek]

If you haven't worked since 2011, that means you have no income. No income means you can get $5,000 pell grant from your government for free just to go to school. Tuition for an entire two year degree in the US is only about $5000.

 

So why not take the free money and attend a community college with it. you won't go in debt and you'd have at least some education.

 

I agree that a lot of degrees are a waste of money, but if you look at the statistics, degrees at community colleges are usually worth it because they don't cost that much and can be transfered to a four year university.

 

Don't waste your time going to a private school. All the idiots you know who racked up the debt likely went to private schools or lived on campus at some party school. Don't do that.

 

Becuz its a waste of time, money, etc. You invest a lot of money and end up in debt, then you get a degree, and then you still don't got a job. I know too many people with degrees and no job. So see waste of schooling.

Edited July 4, 2013 by SuperGeek

[SuperGeek]

Mate... $20,000 USD isn't crap. That's barely scraping by. You will need more than that out in California.

 

You can't even rent an ass-crack in the side of a wall for $20,000 a year.

 

I seriously think this is a troll post lol

 

Yes I have goals I want to do what I am doing right now writing for magazines, newspapers, websites, but get paid for it making 20,000 or more.

[snowflakes88]

Most writing jobs REQUIRE that you have a car, license, and can drive in order to cover events and stories for that magazine or newspaper or website. I can't stay at home and work like I am now.

 

I think you just don't want to work.

[El Brujo]

No matter what I do my mom gets mad at me. She hates how I'm 26 and I'm lazy and thats all I am is lazy. All I ever do is get mad whenever she asks me to do something for her. Which is true I do get mad when she does ask me to do things for her, but she just gets me mad like every minute we talk. Even if it's a calm conversation 5 seconds later it leads to us yelling and screaming at each other.

 

I do try to do things around the house but it doesn't seem to matter or make much of a difference to her because she still complains about it, saying how I don't care or I am too lazy to do it.

 

Yeah I may not do it the right way or the way she wants it done but at least I did it. But no she still complains. Again she complains on everything I do, no matter what it is.

 

Some moms are like that no matter how much you achieve. George Washington's mother thought he should be staying home and catering to her whims instead of going out and doing silly stuff like winning battles and being president.

[napy666]

Still my mom is going on about me and not working and taking advantage of her and my dad and not doing anything etc. I do do stuff around the house but yet if I do it its not good enough or she dislikes it etc. So its like I don't know what to do anymore.