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Can Divorce Ever Be Unemotional?


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Absolutely!

 

When I think about my pending D, I am mostly happy. I envision redecorating the brownstone, weekend mini-vacations when the kids are visiting with their dad, going back to work, date-night with my girlfriends, and dating....

 

While D is inevitably emotional to some degree, if you know that's what you want, and have worked through the guilt, denial, anger, et al., it can indeed be unemotional, mostly.

 

But.....as others have written, be careful about "delayed grief." Some people cope in different ways. Some by immediately partnering without a time of being single. Others use substances. Or some just deny it until one day it hits them...

 

I would accept what he's telling you at face value. Many people process the emotions way before filing and beginning the process. Yet, be prepared that he might still be grieving, and using you for comfort

 

No matter how much you care for and wish to be with him, you DON'T want to be his "transition woman."

 

Best to you...

Edited by phillygirl
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my pending divorce has been emotional as to adjusting to the change and the initial shock, but after almost 22 years, my stbxh and I get along really well considering.. I don't feel either of us will carry emotional baggage beyond the basics of being a divorcee but I feel this is very rare and not the normal.

 

So in this case, it sounds like he is trying to bounce back from his past bad decisions of staying and is finally seeing what being happy feels like

Edited by 73Fras
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