Ask Men: Your Q&A for the male psyche

[will1988]

What type of space are we talking? Thats a good questions. I see couples say that, and I have never really understood it.

 

 

 

Seriously, we spend all our time together, and even when we aren't we are almost in constant contact. Heck, last night I spent at my parents and I still talked to him on the phone for about an hour!

I am more of an extrovert, he is an introvert, and the whole "I need some space" thing never goes beyond him going to the room to calm down after I annoy him.

 

Well even that in of it self is still considered space... even when he is in the room, bathroom jerking it, or at work etc... that is time apart. Now if you two literally never left each other for any amount of time, I could see that as driving a wedge. Your relationship sounds like what my brother and his wife have. They are both extroverted in the way they act, yet, both are pretty much each others only friends. Kind of weird in my opinion, but they have been happily married for 5 years... which is odd for a couple that got married at 18. When they are not at work they spend every waking moment together. I on the other hand, love my fiance, and spend most of my free time with her... However, with that being said. I need time to do my thing. I need to hang out with my friends at least once or twice a month, or more if i can (which is rare, considering we all have adult lives). My fiance knows this. On the other side of the coin, she too needs her personal time, even if it is just talking to her friends from back home on yahoo or whatever.

[hppr]

I like to think it's the former...but I admit that I have had mostly success in dating and have been with my "dream girl" since I was 25 (and her 23)...so perhaps I just never had time to get "jaded".

 

I think that if a lot of these guys (including me, I was really jaded up until 27-28) had good experiences in their early years then things would be different for them. But I also think that a lot of it is genetic too. Personalities pre-disposed to depression, shyness, that sort of thing.

[man_in_the_box]

Compatibility, companionship, compassion. Coms.

[KungFuJoe]

Most likely the bold.

 

If I met a girl and dated her since I was 25, do you think I'd be as negative as I am now?

 

I believe that me in a relationship since 25 and me single up until now would be completely different people.

 

Frankly, I haven't seen many guys 30+ who were single their whole lives who are happy.

 

I do know that I had a very "bad" time when I broke up with my first gf of 4 years. It was a horrible breakup. I cheated on her, broke up with her, she got me back, she "cheated" on me, we were still having sex, but she was with another guy at the same time. Just about the worst mess you could imagine. I didn't "hate" women, but I was just very apathetic to it all. During this time I had a ONS (I was wrong, but at the time I thought she was just using me for sex) and was with another girl that was absolutely gorgeous, a lot of fun...and just plain NUTS. She was the epitome of what a lot of guys complain about here...mixed signals, running hot and cold, all over me one day, cold as a fish the next, etc, etc. And, of course, still having sex with my ex. I even "set up" a situation where a girl I was dating saw me with my ex just to see what her reaction would be.

 

So I could see how I could have continued to have gone down that path of being apathetic and perhaps later turning into a misogynist...but I still had very good and close female friends who were my only "support" during this bad time and I think that was a big deal for me.

[MrNate 2.0]

I think it's interesting how things change over a year later.

 

You gain a lot of new perspective in just around 500 days.

[missjessi2422]

I think it's interesting how things change over a year later.

 

You gain a lot of new perspective in just around 500 days.

 

 

just curious as to what you mean by this ? how has your perspective changed

[MrNate 2.0]

just curious as to what you mean by this ? how has your perspective changed

 

I shall oblige.

 

I think it's all been in a good way.

 

Basically I guess as I get older, I become more aware about what I think and why I think that way.

 

I guess it also includes becoming more honest with yourself as well. Like for instance understanding what you see in a woman and also what you want from her: Whether that be physical or something else. As opposed to the usual 'lets see what happens.'

 

Basically, it's the increased self awareness.

[ThaWholigan]

I shall oblige.

 

I think it's all been in a good way.

 

Basically I guess as I get older, I become more aware about what I think and why I think that way.

 

I guess it also includes becoming more honest with yourself as well. Like for instance understanding what you see in a woman and also what you want from her: Whether that be physical or something else. As opposed to the usual 'lets see what happens.'

 

Basically, it's the increased self awareness.

Agreed!

 

I think we've both grown since

[smackie9]

I shall oblige.

 

I think it's all been in a good way.

 

Basically I guess as I get older, I become more aware about what I think and why I think that way.

 

I guess it also includes becoming more honest with yourself as well. Like for instance understanding what you see in a woman and also what you want from her: Whether that be physical or something else. As opposed to the usual 'lets see what happens.'

 

Basically, it's the increased self awareness.

 

Try and explain that to the twenty something year olds in this forum lol.

[smackie9]

I think what's missin on the list is a woman that will take care of them, do the cooking, washing, shopping, cleaning etc. We replace your mother.

[ThaWholigan]

Try and explain that to the twenty something year olds in this forum lol.

Both Nate and I are twenty-something