EasyHeart Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 No legs? Meh. Legs are just things you have to move out of the way.
sillyanswer Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Why do men so loosely weild the word "crazy"? For similar reasons to the reasons why women easily reach for "player" and other words. It's easier to blame others than address problems and then pull out a disparaging term.
sillyanswer Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 What is your biggest weakness when it comes to the opposite sex? Legs. What should women capitalize on when seducing a man? Wear heels and a short skirt.
sillyanswer Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 What are you really thinking about when you're looking over at the girl who's having lunch out alone? C) Hey, the chair opposite her is empty, I could talk to her Almost. It's: F) I wish it was socially acceptable to just pull out that chair and sit down and talk to her. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Oops, sorry I missed this response. Yes, I feel the exact same way. I enjoy dinners with friends, but I like to have one meal of the day alone. Mostly because I just like to 1) Eat whatever I want without catering to the others , and 2) Ruminate and not talk. Fortunately I can do both of these with the bf sometimes, so I never do mind eating with him (poor guy ), but it's different with friends. I saw a girl post status on FB "I always feel so sad for people eating out alone ' and she got 49 likes. I think that extroverts can't even phantom the idea that anyone would eat alone by choice 4
sillyanswer Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 It depends. Is the cat ever mentioned as an excuse for not doing something that I wanted to do? Or does the cat get white fur all over my dark suit? or dark fur all over my light suit?
Emilia Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I saw a girl post status on FB "I always feel so sad for people eating out alone ' and she got 49 likes. I think that extroverts can't even phantom the idea that anyone would eat alone by choice That's ok ES, I'd give you 48 more likes if I could 2
carhill Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I think this forum attracts certain types of men, so it doesn't give a terribly accurate representation of what men want... Maybe I'm wrong though....Although it pains me Looks seems to be #1 is on most guys list...and we wonder why women are so vain? The forum appears to have a wide range of male posters, from young single college students to professionals to men who are fathers and grandfathers, some long married and some not. Myself, I'm a 50's something formerly married blue collar guy. People choose who they notice and whose postings they read and engage with. Myself, I notice a woman's 'presence' first, then her 'looks' later, sometimes much later. This has been common across all the relationships I've had and my marriage. I recall the first woman I really fell in love with commenting that I never talked to her chest like other men did and my response was that it was a goodly period of time before I even noticed that part of her. We're all wired up differently. Like women often comment about their own gender, we're not a 'hive mind'. We're individuals. Thanks for the comment and question. 3
carhill Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Why do some guys go days without contacting the woman they are dating, even if they seem to be really into her? IMO, time and consistency are clear signals of genuine interest. Nearly anyone can 'put on the dog' for a short period of time but it's the long haul which proves the pudding, so to speak. Hence, it's entirely possible the man is not as interested as it seems. It's also possible something happened in his personal life that he doesn't deem appropriate to notify his dating partner of. It's also possible he met or has chosen to prioritize another potential. Lots of possibilities. I assume there are different reasons, but I wonder if it is more likely that they need/want space, try not to come off as too interested or simply don't think about contacting her? (For the record, I initiate about 50% of the conversation, so it's not like they always have to be the first to reach out). Anything is possible but I seriously doubt a man wants/needs space from a woman he is attracted to in the limerence stage of dating where interactions are fun and the physical pleasures of sex beckon. On a related note, is it okay to ask a guy you have been dating for a few months why you have not heard from him for a couple days, or is that always 'clingy' and 'needy'? If not, what is a good way to ask? I would never consider it an imposition and would share what has been going on in my life to preclude contact. Generally, in my relations, I cut contact frequency when I get the sense the lady is not sincerely interested in my life when I do contact her. To be perfectly honest, as someone who has had a lot of contact with women and has been married, women love to talk about themselves and don't generally show much interest in a male's life, unless she wants something from him. That's one anecdote but I've noticed it consistently throughout my life, and will often purposely experiment with such dynamics to add more information. When I get the whiff of it's all about her, my interest, whether as a friend, acquaintance or potential romantic partner, wanes.
carhill Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Sorry, don't get the point of this thread. You've just got a hundred differing perspectives. Would have been easier to just say "different people like different stuff". Generalizing is fun, but doesn't really work. LoveShack is a discussion forum, where hundreds to thousands of different perspectives are brought to the table every day. This thread is unique, as it doesn't focus on any one particular area of discussion, rather invites individual questions to be asked and answered, ostensibly as a method of understanding the male psyche (of the respondents) better. Hopefully, readers will find some insight, information or ideas in the interactions, just like in other interactions here on LoveShack. Your point about generalities is well-taken. If I could extrapolate from my prior posting, I 'generalized' that women I've met in life love to talk about themselves. The women I've met in life are but a speck of sand on the beach of womenkind, so in no way does my generality from my life experience apply to all women. As exceptions I would, in fairness, point to the wives of a couple of my male friends, who consistently surprise me with their apparently long-lived and sincere interest in my life and times. Perhaps that reflects upon both them and which males I have chosen as close friends. As everyone here generally does, I share personal experiences which don't in any way apply to everyone. As a long (nearly 20 years now) participant in internet discussion forums, I stopped providing that disclaimer years ago, but perhaps its worth repeating. One experience and one opinion is just that; one experience and one opinion. There are billions in this world. 1
carhill Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 a few questions here: - why do men lie while in a relationship? Presuming they aren't sociopathic, fear is a primary reason for lying. - what's your definition of "high standards" in a woman - or "too much work"? IME, it would be where I feel I can't 'relax' and 'be myself' when interacting, or where, in my case, she 'looks down' on me for my apparent working class status. Those are the two most common from my life experience. - assuming you're trying to take a girl for a ride/ not very serious and she's not taking your shyte, will you respect her more and level up, or simply move on to a new girl? I don't have much experience with this because I don't prosecute relationships that way; however, when women have projected past such situations upon myself, I walk away. Dating and relationships are supposed to be positive and uplifting, in general. That kind of interaction, while dramatic and perhaps attractive to some, isn't my cuppa so I pass it on to the next person. 1
hppr Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 a few questions here: - why do men lie while in a relationship? - what's your definition of "high standards" in a woman - or "too much work"? - assuming you're trying to take a girl for a ride/ not very serious and she's not taking your shyte, will you respect her more and level up, or simply move on to a new girl? 1) same reason women lie, because the truth either hurts or won't get them what they want. 2) she wants way more than she's willing to give. She wants a hot guy with a good job but she's average in both departments, she wants a man to romance her but she's asexual, etc. 3) some guys will ante up, others will bail. Depends on what you have and how badly they want it.
eastcoastgirl88 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I've got one: WHY do men need "space"? When I like someone a lot I want to be with them all the time!
sillyanswer Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I've got one: WHY do men need "space"? When I like someone a lot I want to be with them all the time! Because being with someone "all the time" can be exhausting. Don't smother him.
therhythm Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I've got one: WHY do men need "space"? When I like someone a lot I want to be with them all the time! Men had a life before you and they will keep that life while with you or even after you... You can become the new "most important" factor in that man life but that doesn't stop his old life to move forward and him with it....
carhill Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I've got one: WHY do men need "space"? When I like someone a lot I want to be with them all the time! Our brains process interactions and emotions in such a way that we, in general, need some of what posters here often call 'cave time' to work it out, especially where strong emotions are involved. This is different than pursuing our own interests or spending time with friends, which is normal for most people. 1
ThaWholigan Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I've got one: WHY do men need "space"? When I like someone a lot I want to be with them all the time! I would be the worst at this. I need my alone time sometimes - someone always in my face al the time would start to annoy me, no matter how much I love them. Ask my mother . I need that time of seclusion almost to replenish my energy in general so I'm less of an irritable ass to be around .
Emilia Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I need that time of seclusion almost to replenish my energy in general so I'm less of an irritable ass to be around . I think it's because you need to be able to talk to yourself in private 3
will1988 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 List the top five traits that men look for in women. 1. Personality 2. Looks 3. Loyalty 4. Caring 5. Honesty
will1988 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I've got one: WHY do men need "space"? When I like someone a lot I want to be with them all the time! Because you've done something that triggers a flight response in our brains... meaning you've been overly clingy, nagging, crazy, stalkering, needy, paranoid etc... it is our way of trying to avoid drama, since men generally don't thrive on relationship drama. It is our GTFOH response! Guys like to have a modicum of space and free time. If a female is attached at the hip and will not leave the guy alone he will want some breathing room to be alone or with his buddies. 1
ThaWholigan Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I think it's because you need to be able to talk to yourself in private Yeah, that too 1
Estate Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Because you've done something that triggers a flight response in our brains... meaning you've been overly clingy, nagging, crazy, stalkering, needy, paranoid etc... it is our way of trying to avoid drama, since men generally don't thrive on relationship drama. It is our GTFOH response! Guys like to have a modicum of space and free time. If a female is attached at the hip and will not leave the guy alone he will want some breathing room to be alone or with his buddies. Spot on. It means the girl is creating some sort of drama or is being to intense. It depends on the situation but if a girl is just being too much, like I have to be with her every moment, I just can't do it... I need time for myself to work on my own persuits... if a girl cannot understand this and takes it that I don't want to see her it shows me she is very needy and hasn't a lot going on herself, SHE should want her OWN alone time to persue what's important from her. To be honest, a guy shouldn't have to ask for space. In a good relationship, both parties get their own time and space and love the time they are together even more. If you need to ask for space, there is something already wrong. 1
will1988 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Spot on. It means the girl is creating some sort of drama or is being to intense. It depends on the situation but if a girl is just being too much, like I have to be with her every moment, I just can't do it... I need time for myself to work on my own persuits... if a girl cannot understand this and takes it that I don't want to see her it shows me she is very needy and hasn't a lot going on herself, SHE should want her OWN alone time to persue what's important from her. To be honest, a guy shouldn't have to ask for space. In a good relationship, both parties get their own time and space and love the time they are together even more. If you need to ask for space, there is something already wrong. Agreed. My fiance is kind of a loner by nature, I am not... she used to get mad whenever I'd try to hang out with the guys on friday or saturday nights... However, I pretty much told her flat out that I need guy time. My compromise is to do a date day or night with her every week too. That way she gets one day/ night with me (we live together, but i work and go to school as does she so we only watch an hour of tv and then go to bed most nights of the week) and I get one night with the guys. Hanging out with our friends is a way for us to decompress from a week of work and or school... and our relationships with our female GFs/Fiances/Wives etc... while it fills a large chunk or our male needs, it does not fit all of them. men need interaction with other men. It is in our nature. Ironiclly, most men will spend a large portion of their time together talking about women. lol
hppr Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I've got one: WHY do men need "space"? When I like someone a lot I want to be with them all the time! There's a reason guys who go from party to party do lots of drugs, alcohol, because they can't handle all that input. Very very very *VERY* few men can be sociable and lovey-dovey all the time. It's stressful and tiring. Guys need 'alone time' to process things and to recharge from all that contact.
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