Woggle Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I never had any problem whatsoever being monogamous. I just have no desire to be with other women when I am with one I want to committed to. 1
veggirl Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Do you fellas personally ever feel comfortable enough to let your guard down and admit that you have vulnerabilities and feelings? How exhausting is it to have to be "masculine" all the time and suppress some natural traits? Is it a relief when you find someone you can trust enough to show your vulnerable side? As women are we partially to blame for men needing to be masculine all the time? I've noticed, in threads on LS, women are very turned on by men being men and have no problem expecting it. Seems like a fine line for the guys to navigate, really. 2
ltjg45 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 As women are we partially to blame for men needing to be masculine all the time? I've noticed, in threads on LS, women are very turned on by men being men and have no problem expecting it. Seems like a fine line for the guys to navigate, really. If I were to fault a gender for it, I don't know who to blame it on. If I were to break down around other guys, I would get my butt bruised up pretty badly because I'm showing "weakness" and that is not acceptable. Whereas those guys who doesn't show emotion also attracts basically any women he wants so that is another strike against those who shows emotion more than it is needed. I don't know what to make of it. All I know is crying is not socially acceptable among men.
veggirl Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 If I were to fault a gender for it, I don't know who to blame it on. If I were to break down around other guys, I would get my butt bruised up pretty badly because I'm showing "weakness" and that is not acceptable. Whereas those guys who doesn't show emotion also attracts basically any women he wants so that is another strike against those who shows emotion more than it is needed. I don't know what to make of it. All I know is crying is not socially acceptable among men. I'm not blaming A gender. At all. I just wonder if it is difficult to navigate a woman's expectations of masculinity but vulnerability.
Woggle Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I'm not blaming A gender. At all. I just wonder if it is difficult to navigate a woman's expectations of masculinity but vulnerability. It is but I found an actual quality woman when I decided to say screw it and be who I am.
ltjg45 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I'm not blaming A gender. At all. I just wonder if it is difficult to navigate a woman's expectations of masculinity but vulnerability. I'm only going to answer this in my point of view. If she wants her mate to be completely 100% masculine, then being vulnerable is not acceptable in my eyes. Can I tell which is which? I doubt it. I don't know how she thinks unless she tells me and, unless told otherwise, I'm going to come to the assumption that I can't be vulnerable. Asking the question to her will typically make things worse.
carhill Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 As women are we partially to blame for men needing to be masculine all the time? I've noticed, in threads on LS, women are very turned on by men being men and have no problem expecting it. Seems like a fine line for the guys to navigate, really. IMO, the responsibility is pretty equal opportunity. Women own their preferences; men own what they value in their peer relationships. When I was speaking of emotional transparency, I wasn't necessarily talking to the 'breaking down and crying' example, but rather the expression of emotion in language and appearance in a contemporaneous fashion in interpersonal relations. That can range from joy to anger to sorrow to laughter. For examples watch any two women interacting together on a variety of topics. Watch their voice tones, words, body language, facial expressions, how they look in each other's eyes, etc., etc. Then watch two men. There's your sign. Also, this varies by culture/demographic. I've traveled to other parts of the world where men are much more transparent emotionally and honestly felt quite at home in those environments, once I let go of the stereotype that such men must be gay/homosexual (they weren't). However, if a man exists in a social climate where certain 'masculine' standards of behavior are the norm and the preference of the females in that social climate, then he's got a tough row to hoe if he dares to be 'different'. BTDT. Hope that helps. 3
Author MrNate 2.0 Posted June 17, 2013 Author Posted June 17, 2013 When you see a mainstream movie with female nudity, how much does it affect you? Is it actually arousing (hot!)? Or just generally fun and exciting (boobies!)? Or no big deal (eh.)? It's actually just pretty hot/arousing, . Remember, most fellas are pretty visual. Oh and exciting too. Especially if someone like *cough* Jennifer Lawrence *cough* does it.
Author MrNate 2.0 Posted June 17, 2013 Author Posted June 17, 2013 Are you speaking from experience when you say a man in love isn't tempted by other women, op? I can't go so far as to say a man in love isn't tempted by other women. I think at that point it varies a bit you know? What stage is the love in? Is it being nurtured? Is there a lot of communication when problems arise? Is the love new? Seasoned? I think that delves more into the integrity of the male. Though I do feel that being deeply in love is something that isn't phased that easily by things such as women trying to break it up. If it's easy for a woman to interfere and break things up.. that doesn't sound like a strong love to me.
undergroundlife13 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 What would make a guy dissapear on an ex, and never tell her to leave you alone or say a word to her?
carhill Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 What would make a guy dissapear on an ex, and never tell her to leave you alone or say a word to her? Perhaps you could clarify. Is the example of disappearance prior to or post-breakup? If prior, and presuming he's not dead, IMO it indicates some fundamental psychological issues surrounding interpersonal relations in general. Usually, such issues present themselves in behaviors prior to disappearance but not always. For some men, they reach a 'trigger' point and 'flip' emotionally and bug out. If they feel overwhelmed, and it may have nothing to do with the other person, they run. If after, it can be a style of coping, one of which is known here on LS as "NC" (no contact).
Author MrNate 2.0 Posted June 17, 2013 Author Posted June 17, 2013 What would make a guy dissapear on an ex, and never tell her to leave you alone or say a word to her? Some people simply have a terrible time handling any type of confrontation. It's just must easier for them to just disappear rather than add tension in any way. This is unfortunate for the woman who got left behind, as you don't get that closure. The most important thing here, I think, is that it's no reflection of the woman at all. She can not (and should not) feel responsible for that man's actions. He acted of his own will. Unfortunately it was in such a terrible manner. But the river of life continues to flow, and that woman will get many more chances to find happiness if she seeks it.
undergroundlife13 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Telling me he wanted me back, and that he was forcing himself to get over me but realized he missed me and didnt deserve me. He then dissapeared off of the face of the earth and has ignored my texts/ calls for the past 2 months..
Author MrNate 2.0 Posted June 17, 2013 Author Posted June 17, 2013 Telling me he wanted me back, and that he was forcing himself to get over me but realized he missed me and didnt deserve me. He then dissapeared off of the face of the earth and has ignored my texts/ calls for the past 2 months.. Yeah. He's definitely playing games. If it were my guess..sounds like there's another woman at this point. And he may try to just keep you as back up. I'd personally bail and search for the happiness you deserve. There's many more men who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Pompeii Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 As women are we partially to blame for men needing to be masculine all the time? I've noticed, in threads on LS, women are very turned on by men being men and have no problem expecting it. Seems like a fine line for the guys to navigate, really. Women are not partially to blame for hypermasculinity, I believe the media we consume is. Too many action movies, too many sitcoms, too many advertisements of rippling, shirtless men. Too much everything. Women are the main consumers of media and as a whole, are much more easily influenced by external factors than men are. Women have bought into what the media sells and expect men to behave a certain way. Men have done this too but the effects of hypermasculinity have been deemphasized to a point where it seems like it doesn't matter. Little Jimmy's suffers in silence while Little Susie has to be constantly reassured that she's "beautiful". Being masculine is one thing but many want the next level.
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 My ex told me how he often envied that women friends talk about emotions. He said that only acceptable topics with guy friends are sports, sex, working out and cars :/ And if one of them starts saying something even remotely emotional, others go "Don't be a pu$$y" and change the topic So more emotional men tend to have more female friends. 3
EasyHeart Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 When you see a mainstream movie with female nudity, how much does it affect you? Is it actually arousing (hot!)? Or just generally fun and exciting (boobies!)? Or no big deal (eh.)?At this point, there is so much nudity on TV and in movies that I'm completely immune. Most of the time, I just find it embarrassing. But movie stars are obviously attractive and I get my fair share of celebrity crushes. It has nothing to do with them being naked, though. I fully clothed woman being adorable is way more attractive than a boring naked one. My GF and I talk about which celebrities we like all the time. (And I have permission from my girlfriend to do anything I want with Zooey Deschanel, should I ever get the opportunity). 1
Pompeii Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 My ex told me how he often envied that women friends talk about emotions. He said that only acceptable topics with guy friends are sports, sex, working out and cars :/ And if one of them starts saying something even remotely emotional, others go "Don't be a pu$$y" and change the topic So more emotional men tend to have more female friends. Video games, latest movies, etc. It's weird talking about feeling with guys because you start to feel like a pussy as someone said. Feelings are internalized and if you want to be seen as a man, you'll learn that. I have a lot of female friends but I wouldn't call myself an "emotional guy".
Els Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 (edited) What are you really thinking about when you're looking over at the girl who's having lunch out alone? A) What an anti-social weirdo B) Damn, her dish looks delicious C) Hey, the chair opposite her is empty, I could talk to her D) Sexsexsexsexsexsexse E) Paranoid women, always thinking we're looking at them when we aren't My ex told me how he often envied that women friends talk about emotions. He said that only acceptable topics with guy friends are sports, sex, working out and cars :/ And if one of them starts saying something even remotely emotional, others go "Don't be a pu$$y" and change the topic So more emotional men tend to have more female friends. Yeah, seems like that's the way it is. I guess people just do or talk about different things with friends of different sexes in general, hence the benefit of having friends of both sexes. ...That also explains why my male friends seem to love talking to me about relationships and women and problems when all I really want to do is to game with them. Edited June 17, 2013 by Elswyth
hppr Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 What are you really thinking about when you're looking over at the girl who's having lunch out alone? A) What an anti-social weirdo B) Damn, her dish looks delicious C) Hey, the chair opposite her is empty, I could talk to her D) Sexsexsexsexsexsexse E) Paranoid women, always thinking we're looking at them when we aren't Nothing really. If she's attractive then I might look for a second longer but that is about it. But then I'm 30 and don't really consider myself on the market either. When I was younger I thought about a zillion different things, probably everything on that list and then some. 1
TheFinalWord Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 (edited) What are you really thinking about when you're looking over at the girl who's having lunch out alone? A) What an anti-social weirdo B) Damn, her dish looks delicious C) Hey, the chair opposite her is empty, I could talk to her D) Sexsexsexsexsexsexse E) Paranoid women, always thinking we're looking at them when we aren't This may show where men are different than women. We (well me anyway ) don't really analyze social settings in that way, i.e. trying to interpret her what she is doing or thinking from a social perspective. Men tend to be more concerned with the goal at hand: eating their food. If she is attractive we may look at her features. If a guy is going to try to pick up a woman, it is rare that it will be spontaneous like that. It is more likely he planned to watch for women that are alone and seem approachable. But then I'm more introverted so take that for what it's worth. But overall, our minds are pretty much singularly focused and we interpret social settings in that framework. The main situations where I am more cognizant of social situations is in the work place. Where again, we are all about performing our function. Women seem to be more observant and aware of their surroundings from a social perspective. "Look at her hair, look at that dress" Men do pay some attention, but it isn't generally as salient and we have to remind ourselves to pay attention, i.e. the cliche, didn't you notice my hair? and the guy is clueless lol. For example, I like business attire and may notice if a woman has on a really nice suit or a man has on a really expensive watch or tie. But overall, we are more singularly focused. Edited June 17, 2013 by TheFinalWord 2
Aedra Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I think this forum attracts certain types of men, so it doesn't give a terribly accurate representation of what men want... Maybe I'm wrong though....Although it pains me Looks seems to be #1 is on most guys list...and we wonder why women are so vain? 3
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I often enjoy coffee or lunch alone and I wonder what people in general are thinking. I don't see that many people sitting out alone. I enjoy the peace and quiet and prefer it to making conversation with someone. For me, I have actually told a friend that I am busy to meet her just so that I can enjoy lunch alone 4
johan Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 List the top five traits that men look for in women. Nice legs. Nice ass. Nice hair. Nice teeth. Laughs at my jokes. 2
KungFuJoe Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 List the top five traits that men look for in women. Pretty much same traits women look for in men... Good looks Fun personality Brains and common sense Honesty and integrity Kindness and a good heart.
Recommended Posts