bebzzzy Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 Hi all. I came here hoping to find solution and save my relationship. It is a 20 months long relationship and we're both in 30s. Some 15 days ago we got into a fight that lasted for four days and it exhausted both of us. It was over non-trivial issue. On the last day of fight she cracked and bursted into tears. We talked couple hours later and over next days but I could tell something is different. In her words, she woke up next morning not caring whether we will fight or break up or whatever. I apologised for my part of fight and wanted to work things out. Since then she is sending me mixed signals. She is initiating contact all the time (several times a day) and invites me for coffees during the day. However, she is at the same time very very cold and distant. She does not talk about us at all, when we are together conversation is about trivial things or work and there is no warmth from her side. In fact, we only kiss briefly when we see each other and that is it. Last week I asked her twice in the evening to meet but she refused. First time she had some family issue and the second was night before her trip to another town so she wanted to pack. So far I tried only to be sweet and kind and avoided anything that could start new fight. When we talk I tell her that I love her, I tried to surprise her by writing her story or nice texts for good morning. Also, I told her what I think are my faults as I have taken this seriously. Yet, I feel that we are not progressing and she is becoming more and more distant. Guys I really want to work this out and dont know what to do. For example, we talked few days ago about meeting tonight but so far she is not mentioning anything. I wonder whether I should say something or be quiet. Normally, I would back away but she is in turbulent phase of her life so I dont know whether this is right thing to do. Any advice is much appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
athousandquestions Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 Kind of confused. Did you guys have a discussion in which either of you ended things or said it was done? I think you have two options. One, to contact/see her and ask for an answer - what is going on here, are we together, etc. You may not get the answer you want and this will give her ALL the control, but it will also give you peace of mind. Option two: STOP CONTACTING HER. This girl told you that she didn't care about you when she woke up. It SOUNDS like she's hanging out/talking to you out of habit and comfort. You need to remove yourself. She is rejecting you and in order to resolve anything you're going to need to take a step back. If you remove yourself from the situation, you may shed clarity on your own thoughts/emotions about her and will allow her to do the same, resulting in the possibility of working it out. As the saying goes 'You can't miss something that's still there.' Link to post Share on other sites
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