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A long time coming, after 2 weeks of "her space" I'm finally breaking up with her....

Dante311

By Dante311
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Dante311 Established Member

Dante311

Posted
Posted (edited)

Here is a recent, but old thread with some backstory.... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/399620-she-asked-space-but-we-re-not-broken-up-i-m-glad-i-stumbled-upon-inside

her kicking me out. He wanting space. her asking me to go with her to her best friend's wedding. me saying no after she called me a convenience. she being cold and distant. her taking the weekend and missing me the entire time. Begging me to see her, showing up to my place of work (Monday) - end up having hot sex that night. Tuesday, being friendly, asking me to come over to her place and spend the night (after kindly asking me to leave post-sex on monday). Wednesday, friendly, but not seeing eachother - saying i love you to eachother. Fine. Thursday, us planning on seeing eachother that night - but her spazzing out b/c she was in a BAD MOOD ... telling me to leave her alone and give her space. I was so disappointed. Friday, she wanted to see me. She cried again that she missed me and that she loved me and wanted to move forward, etc, etc, etc... and she wanted to spend the weekend. She asked me to stay over. STUPID ME. By the way on Monday & Friday she SHOWED UP to MY place of work when I got off my shift. Foolish me telling her when my shift ended.

 

I left to go to work early (I'm a medical student, so I intern ie get there early...)

 

Dude, seriously?!

 

I go to bed with her, it was so nice - she bought me takeout b/c she wanted to just relax and watch a movie with me like we used to. It was sooooo nice. She cuddled up with me. It was so cute. We fell asleep on eachother. So I left the next morning without waking her, without texting her. I really didn't bother her throughout the day.. so NOTHING negative... **** the night before she was wishing I could sleep in with her.

 

I text her midday, everything seems fine. She's cleaning the bathroom. Her roommates have their s/o's over... I'm at work. She laughed at that she cleaned the bathroom and her rm said he'll scrub the tub. I don't know.. I left it be. Said love u, ttyl.

 

...on my home around 430pm. I text her asking if I can head over? She goes, "No I'm out with my best friend R", (I know R, I trust it)

 

I go, in consecutive texts... "Ok, thanks. Have fun, tell R I say hi. I hope I can see you later?"

 

...her: "I dunno, I'm busy" "I dunno if I wanna hang out with you tn"

 

....me... "WOW" & "What did we talk about yesterday"

 

She yesterday insisted on her space again. I said fine, good night. I then waited like 2 hours and told her I'm sorry for violating the space w/ this text, but I agree, I love you let's catch up in a few days (this way I can give myself some time too)

 

 

....I am obviously sad and upset... she's blowing too hot and too cold too quickly. This isn't trying to work on a relationship. This is a game of bull****, imo. I am very upset with her.

 

So she doesn't want to see me.

 

A buddy of mine whom I work with at the medical school takes me out for a drink rightfully convinces me (or triesto) dump this girl like a ton of bricks.. I'm telling him my story over 2 pitchers of PBR (and I don't drink, so I'm drunk at this point)... he's telling me there is a double standard... how is it when she's with her friends I need to leave her alone, but when i'm busy or working, it's not ok... I need to be available for her. Case in point... while we're sittingthere having a beer or 10... and therapy pizza, she calls me.

 

Her power went out. She was in the dark. And scared. She heard the backround noise, asking me what I was doing. I told her I was out with a buddy - she immediately apologized for calling and hung up. I asked her if she needed me - she told me no, she doesn't want to see me or for me to come over. And that I should have a good night. My buddy interpreted hr texts and her being selfish and a bitch. now, I still love this girl. Why? I have no fn idea...

 

around 11 she told me it didnt' matter anymore, she's goingto bed, just then the power went back on. no gn text or anything.

 

I'm beginning to believe she's using me as a comfort until she can do her own thing again independent of me.

 

My buddy told me the only way thi relationship is going to work is if we take a real break for 2 months or so and if it's actually meant to be.. it'll work.

 

All I know is right now, I'm very unhappy with how she's treating me. th magnitude of this unpleasant nature exceeds the magnitude of how happy I am when I'm with her. That's enough to take space from her.

 

I said the exact opposite to her on Friday when she tried reassuring me she WANTED this relationship and loved me. I think it's the truth, but Ialso think this relationship has nothing to do with us.

 

Me wanting to see her yesterday, I feel, may have pushed her away a bit.. and then me being out with a buddy of mine last and not available to me will show m independence and she'll resent me for that. sucks, but it's a reality. I texted her this morning... "I want to respect the space, may we please talk in person tonight, thanks hun. I'm going to work at the hospital today, hope to ttys."

 

I hope we can end this civilly.. and give the time we need to heal. She's toying with my head... and it's killing me. :(

 

oh well, it is what it is..

 

Any other advice from you guys??? Please and thank you in advance!

 

Love,

 

Me.

Edited by Dante311
TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

Posted
Posted

In her mind, you're an exclusive FWB.

 

Break up, break off, leave this behind.

Oh man, quit.

 

You know what this is?

 

This is exactly like a drug dependence/addiction.

 

You have to go No Contact.

 

And No Contact is cold turkey for the heart.

 

It's coming off the addictive aspect of your relationship; expunging the noxious effect of neediness, clinging and quiet desperation.

And it hurts more than a ton-weight medicine ball to the solar plexus.

 

You have to go through all the associated withdrawal symptoms.

 

But you have to stop her playing yo-yo with your heart.

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Dante311 Established Member

Dante311

Posted
  • Author
Posted

it sucks so much :(

TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

Posted
Posted

Yup - and you're gonna hate me for this but - it will get worse before it gets better.

 

If you think this is pain, wait until you hit the 2/3-month barrier.

 

What a damn hell of a brick wall that will be - like hitting it at 90mph....

 

Stick with us - and FOLLOW ADVICE.

 

Truly, it will be the only way to survive this.....

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