She asked for space, but we're not broken up... I'm glad I stumbled upon THIS inside

[Dante311]

This made me feel a ton better!

 

"A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007):

 

I am so glad I stumbled upon this page and found out that what is happening to me is actually quite common in young relationships, and some of the answers here have really helped me so thankyou. After a few years on and off (the last year solid) everything has been going great with my girlfriend until recently when she told me she needs time to "step back and think, be independent etc" I realised things moved too quickly and we settled into too much of a routine where we both felt trapped. At first I went crazy thinking this was the end but she told me she still loves me, that she wants to marry me but she doesn't want the pressure of thinking about it yet. This is fair enough but I have found it so hard as I have been away for nearly 6 months so have felt very alone, and think how can she do this to me when I'm away like this. I really love this girl and have always thought we would be together forever. I got all sorts of images in my head when she started going out a lot more with her friends and I felt very jealous, which fueled more arguments. She is going away to uni this year and I fear she doesn't want the commitment or hassle of me calling all the time and checking up on her. I am home soon and am now willing to give her the space she needs to think, I know this is hard guys but unfortunately we don't really have any other option. Try to get on with areas of your own life you didn't explore when you were close, and hopefully you will find that she comes to her senses and realises you are the man of her dreams. If not then at least you know it wasn't meant to be (a lot easier to write than to admit I know!) The problem we have guys is the difference in how we think to women. We think - I love this girl, I want to be with her full stop. She thinks, I love this guy and I think he's right for me, but maybe I need to go and live before I realise this. No doubt if she really loves you and breaks it off she will regret letting you go. After all the fact you are on this site says you are a sensitive, good man, who is willing to work through problems because you love your girlfriend, and she knows this deep down. Women have a habit of taking away your identity as a man gradually (whinging about you watching football, going out with mates etc) but then once you lose your identity they don't want it! They want yep you guessed it, an independent confident man (like you were in the first place!) So some may say they're never happy, there are exceptions to this rule though. Just remember that nobody can take away your identity. You and I will feel absolutely heartbroken if our relationships end, and think that we can't go on. But we are men, and we will get over it, and stronger. Then we will take hold of our lives again and eventually find the woman we want, probably without looking. Be content with what you have, enjoy life for what it is, and I garuantee the women will want you and you won't have to do the chasing (because you're less likely to find a lifelong partner if you have to try really hard to get a girl). Do not let anyone take away your identity as a man. If you lose the woman you love, it's going to hurt but you will heal I promise, and one day find your wonderwoman. Chin up!"