Author Helen A Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 Smoocherific I think I just liked the attention from someone else tbh, after 17 years of being with someone it's just exciting. I love my husband but I'm not sure what was missing. He wasn't paying me enough attention maybe.
Author Helen A Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 Tara I'm not telling him because I have a little 3 year old girl who comes first. I know we will both know but that can't be undone as you said.
TaraMaiden Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 You have a 3-year-old little girl who has a liar for a mother, and no integrity. A woman who chooses to live a lie, and deceive her father. Don't you ever come down hard on your little girl for any lies she may ever tell you, because she has a fine example to follow, doesn't she?
TaraMaiden Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Smoocherific I think I just liked the attention from someone else tbh, after 17 years of being with someone it's just exciting. I love my husband but I'm not sure what was missing. He wasn't paying me enough attention maybe. Would this not have been a good opportunity to actually have addressed the problem in your marriage, and maybe gone to MC, instead of looking elsewhere.... Oh, hang on.... Too much like hard work, huh? You wanted the instant hit of "pay attention to me!" gratification, rather than work with the guy who's been at your side for nearly 2 decades and is father to your child? Silly me..... 1
lace5262 Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 No I am not awilling to end my marriage. My husband loves me and is actually amazing to me. I guess this was just an attention thing. He loves you and is amazing to you, but now you say, "He wasn't paying me enough attention maybe.", because you're looking for an excuse. Don't blame your garbage on your husband. And your daughter didn't come first, you did, or else you wouldn't have done something that could possibly blow up her family. 1
Author Helen A Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 Ok. I'm sure you lot throwing the abuse around are all perfect and have never done anything wrong. I'm a good mother I love my husband. I wanted other people's opinions and advice on how to move on not abuse because I have decided that its my choice not to admit this. Just a q, why are you guys who are so judgmental on a thread like this ? On this site?
TaraMaiden Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 because all the people answering your posts have come clean, confessed and at least been honest. You persist in your desire to continue lying, and being deceitful, and you're looking for approval, consent or collusion in that. Well, you're not going to get it, and your continuing to insist you're doing the right thing, is going to continue meeting with these responses. I don't know what made you believe we'd all be supportive, but you obviously got it horribly wrong. 1
lace5262 Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Ok. I'm sure you lot throwing the abuse around are all perfect and have never done anything wrong. I'm a good mother I love my husband. I wanted other people's opinions and advice on how to move on not abuse because I have decided that its my choice not to admit this. Just a q, why are you guys who are so judgmental on a thread like this ? On this site? Oh I'm sure I've done plenty wrong, but lying to and betraying my husband ain't one of them. We also have very different ideas about what a good mother looks like, and what loving our husbands look like. People gave you their advice on how to move on: tell your husband. You don't want to do that, so?
TaraMaiden Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Ok. I'm sure you lot throwing the abuse around are all perfect and have never done anything wrong. I'm a good mother I love my husband. I wanted other people's opinions and advice on how to move on not abuse because I have decided that its my choice not to admit this. Just a q, why are you guys who are so judgmental on a thread like this ? On this site? Where has anyone been abusive? Since when is calling a spade a ruddy shovel, 'abusive'? We're just telling it to you 'like it is'. You really need to reappraise your actions and re-evaluate the way you process things, because you have your objectives serioulsy askew.
Author Helen A Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 No lace I don't want to do that. A lot of people on here have been lovely and given good advice.
TaraMaiden Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 So why ask for honesty from us, when all you want to do is to keep lying?
Author Helen A Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 I suppose I just wanted some advice on it all, moving on etc - wondering if anybody had gone through the same thing.
TaraMaiden Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Well, as you can tell from this thread. Many people have gone through 'the same thing'. The only variance has been your insistence on our honesty, being a direct contradiction to your lying.
RAN65 Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Tara I'm not telling him because I have a little 3 year old girl who comes first. I know we will both know but that can't be undone as you said. What if your husband find out about your A. Say OM informs him out of frustration on you & says that you had a PA with him in the Hotel(He has booked the hotel).
Author Helen A Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 Ran he'd never do that. He doesn't want to wreck his marriage.Nobody had mentioned going throughit to me
RAN65 Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 I suppose I just wanted some advice on it all, moving on etc - wondering if anybody had gone through the same thing. Go to the Infidelity section & see the Threads & Posts wherein the A partners have been caught. Also after going through the threads & posts in Infidelity you can go to the threads & posts in Separation & Divorce. You can get all the advice of what other A Partners have gone through.
RAN65 Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 (edited) Ran he'd never do that. He doesn't want to wreck his marriage.Nobody had mentioned going throughit to me Fine, who is paying for the texts you are sending ? Is it you or your husband. In case if it is your husband, he would have seen the amount to texts going out in the bills he pays & would have a doubt on the same. He would have started investigating about the same. This is where you would get caught. Before that happens disclose the details of the EA to your husband. Edited June 9, 2013 by RAN65
Author Helen A Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 Me I have my own iPhone with unlimited txts and watts app txts are free x
TaraMaiden Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Woo hoo for you. Then you have carte blanche to carry on texting, don't you? X? Does that mean 'so kiss my x'?
anne1707 Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 I suppose I just wanted some advice on it all, moving on etc - wondering if anybody had gone through the same thing. You have had advice from people who have gone through similar things, e.g. me. Going to listen to me now?
ComingInHot Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 okay Betsy I think you are getting the just that most here feel that living a life of dishonesty is wrong but it sounds like you're going to live the lie anyway. Fine. It just occurred to me though, MM went "silent" you say. Have you thought what if he gets busted? Has gotten busted? Ouch. You'll read here in many situations it's the Woman who Really takes most of the blame. Unfortunate, but true. Why Did he suddenly go silent??*
Author Helen A Posted June 9, 2013 Author Posted June 9, 2013 TaraMaiden Established Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: BuddhaDhammaSangha Posts: 18,973 Woo hoo for you. Then you have carte blanche to carry on texting, don't you? X? Does that mean 'so kiss my x'? Bit childish. I was only answering a question as in I have my own phone and pay my own bill. I could carry on yes, but as I've stated so many times, I'm trying not to and to get over this. No it doesn't mean kiss my x That's just how I usually reply to all my txts. Anne no I'm not going to admit this, I'm not splitting everybody up as I've said. Nobody has actually said that they've been through this/ or done anything like this.
lace5262 Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 "Anne no I'm not going to admit this, I'm not splitting everybody up as I've said. Nobody has actually said that they've been through this/ or done anything like this" What?! This is a whole freakin forum of people who have been through it and done it! Have you read around here at all?
lace5262 Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 You have had advice from people who have gone through similar things, e.g. me. Going to listen to me now? ^^^^^^^^^^
anne1707 Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 Anne no I'm not going to admit this, I'm not splitting everybody up as I've said. Nobody has actually said that they've been through this/ or done anything like this. I suggest you re-read what I posted. Basically I said I had an affair too.
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