disappointed in this guy

[daisybuchanan55]

That's really a crappy thing to say to someone who is already feeling low. She doesn't need to lose 20 lbs, or alter her appearance to find a boyfriend.

 

To the OP - go ahead and post pictures on your dating profile, that way, guys can see what you look like right off the bat. Unfortunately, men are extremely visual and if they aren't instantly attracted to you from a cruddy online dating site pic, they won't bother to even pursue you at all.

 

However, there IS someone out there who will be attracted to you - because I do believe there is someone for everyone. Just be patient, and don't let one jerk bring you down. Don't give him that much power over you.

 

I agree that OP doesn't need to lose weight, but I disagree that changing her appearance isn't necessary to attract a boyfriend.

 

Like you said, men are appearance-driven. Looks DO count. I think it's naive to assume you can attract the mate of your choice when you aren't doing everything you can to look your best. In my opinion that's one of the best things about being a girl--that we have so many ways to enhance our natural beauty! The right clothes, hair color, etc. really can make a world of difference!

 

Not to mention, looking your best changes the way you present yourself to the world. Your confidence can skyrocket with just a spray tan! Sounds superficial but I don't see the harm in doing superficial things if they make you feel better about yourself.

 

 

The only reason I so believe in this is because my life changed drastically for the better when I "got it together" with my appearance. I'm not saying there is one way to be beautiful--there are MANY types of beautiful--but OP needs to look her best to feel her best and therefore attract the right man for her.

 

And one more word if you're going to use an online dating site: if you can, find a friend who knows Photoshop and can touch up your pictures. I won't lie, I Photoshop all photos I post on social media! I'm talking teeth whitening, makeup fixing, hair fixing, color correcting etc. It's not dishonest, it's giving yourself the best chance at success!

[shexy]

I agree that OP doesn't need to lose weight, but I disagree that changing her appearance isn't necessary to attract a boyfriend.

 

Like you said, men are appearance-driven. Looks DO count. I think it's naive to assume you can attract the mate of your choice when you aren't doing everything you can to look your best. In my opinion that's one of the best things about being a girl--that we have so many ways to enhance our natural beauty! The right clothes, hair color, etc. really can make a world of difference!

 

Not to mention, looking your best changes the way you present yourself to the world. Your confidence can skyrocket with just a spray tan! Sounds superficial but I don't see the harm in doing superficial things if they make you feel better about yourself.

 

 

The only reason I so believe in this is because my life changed drastically for the better when I "got it together" with my appearance. I'm not saying there is one way to be beautiful--there are MANY types of beautiful--but OP needs to look her best to feel her best and therefore attract the right man for her.

 

And one more word if you're going to use an online dating site: if you can, find a friend who knows Photoshop and can touch up your pictures. I won't lie, I Photoshop all photos I post on social media! I'm talking teeth whitening, makeup fixing, hair fixing, color correcting etc. It's not dishonest, it's giving yourself the best chance at success!

 

 

I think you can do some things to make yourself feel better - but photoshopping OLD profile pix won't help. What happens when you show up for a date looking nothing like your profile picture?

 

I agree with wearing pretty clothes or makeup - I mean DRASTICALLY changing appearance, like losing weight when you don't need to, or having surgery, or drastic things like that. I didn't really specify!

[soccerrprp]

I initiated to request for his picture after about 5 days of online correspondence . After seeing my picture, I never heard from him again

 

I'm aggrieved and deeply affected that I can't even sleep. I didn't expect that he will cut off all contacts after seeing my pics as at least we could have kept on friendly contact working in the same industry

 

I'm feeling ugly , sad, angry and hurted. Now I'm feeling upset over how I look

 

What should I do and why guys are like that??

 

He was looking for a girlfriend. Why would you think he would continue communicating with you after seeing that he was not attracted to you physically? Come on. It's just like in RLD, people don't hit it off b/c of physical attraction or lack thereof all the time. Or, in RLD, you're simply never approached b/c of your physical appearance. Most people, the vast majority of people have physical preferences. It's no different with OLD. If you would simply put up accurate, recent pics of yourself then you wouldn't have to go through this.

 

The simple fact that you didn't shows that you already had serious insecurities about how you look. This incident only reinforced it, not create it. You're disappointed b/c this guy knows that it's not you he attracted to. Okay. I'm certain that you would be hesitant too if some guy suddenly revealed that he had some serious deformity (exaggerating and not implying that you fit this), right? All of a sudden, all the emails and clever banter would be meaningless.

 

People have preferences. You didn't meet his. That simple. It's not a perfect world, not as idealistic as some of us would like. Looks do matter for both sexes. Maybe more for men.

 

If there is something about yourself you think you can improve w/o doing something crazy, do it. If you feel that you appearance is what's keeping you from finding dates, make some changes. But, in the end, do it for yourself b/c it makes you feel good.

 

We all get rejected for one reason or another.

 

Good luck.