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Alcohol, abuse, and low esteem - how bad is her situation?


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concerned-friend

A friend is attempting to exit an unhealthy relationship discussed here:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/395144-bdsm-relationship

 

Unfortunately that relationship has not helped her drinking problems. Recently, I pointed out that many problems in her life were preceded with drinking, sometimes just one drink and at other times she was smashed. This was an epiphany for her, and she began to see alcohol has been an issue in her life.

 

I don't drink much so she doesn't drink around me, but she often says she wishes she had a drink (or pot) when we're together. She gets drunk most weekends and if she skips a weekend or two, there's a good chance she'll binge the next weekend and get drunk two or three days in a row. She fills a water bottle with alcohol and she takes shots from that during the weekend amounting to about 12-20 ozs.

 

She admits to having a serious drinking problem, but feels she manages it and is not an alcoholic because she limits most her drinking to the weekend and doesn't need to drink every day. However, she says she craves a drink anytime she passes someplace that reminds her of alcohol, which seems to be a wide range of places, from parks to walking down a street.

 

Although leaving her current relationship would be healthier in the long term, short term I'm concerned it will create more stress and she won't be able to cope and will turn to drinking. On the other hand, both boyfriend and their lifestyle reinforces her drinking so that isn't a solution either.

 

Between her low self esteem, her relationship, and drinking issues, it seems like she's walking a tightrope. I have encouraged her to seek help, but she doesn't feel she needs any. I'm a little over my head, so I'm hoping someone can provide some guidance.

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